ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
Jersey Shore: Free Range Peeing
VINNY'S BACK! Deena's over the moon excited to have her soul back, and Pauly's excited to have his boyfriend back. So precious.
Read the full post here.
HOKUM
Snooki Dashes Tabloid Dreams By Denying She's Pregnant
IS JERSEY SHORE MEATBALL SNOOKI PREGNANT OR DID SHE EAT A PICKLE?
Star magazine reports that the spitfire is expecting after she tweeted she felt sick and was having food cravings. "She is pregnant and has only told her closest friends and some family," an alleged "insider" tells the mag.
Read the full post here.
February 02, 2012
CONNIVING
Stephen Colbert Launches Republican Twitter Attack To #PrepareThem
STILL BITTER OVER HIS BRUISING PRIMARY LOSS IN SOUTH CAROLINA, ONCE-REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE STEPHEN COLBERT LAUNCHED AN ATTACK ON THE PARTY'S frontrunners last night on Twitter.
On his television show last night, Colbert showed a clip of the Massachusetts Republican insisting that "a competitive primary does not divide us, it prepares us." Then, using Mitt Romney's own words to cover his duplicitious scheme, he launched a plot to advance the party's internecine bloodbath.
Read the full post here.
SLUT SHAMING
Joan River Outs Betty White As Former Pot-Smoking 'Slut'
JOAN RIVERS FESSES THAT SHE USED TO GET STONED WITH 90-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS BETTY WHITE back when she worked the comedy club circuit.
"She was some slut then," Joan tells HuffPo jokingly.
Read the full post here.
February 01, 2012
LAME
Hypocrites: BET Bans Nicki Minaj's 'Stupid Hoe'
THE SAME CABLE CHANNEL THAT GAVE DOG ABUSER AND FOOTBAL PLAYER MikeVick the Sportsman of the Year award has suddenly refused to air Nicki Minaj's latest video Stupid Hoe.
Read the full post here.
TRUE COLORS
Did Marlo Hampton Just Slur Her Way Out Of A Gig?
AS IF HER RAP SHEET WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, the latest wannabe Real Housewife of Atlanta just burned a bridge that no amount of sass can rebuild.
One of the most questionable figures on Bravo, Marlo Hampton committed the ultimate no-no on Sunday's episode.
Read the full post here.
REUNION RECAP
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion: Hoof-In-Mouth Disease
ANOTHER REUNION, ANOTHER SEASON DOWN. Andy, the giddy and goofy king, holds court in the middle of a Housewife semicircle. The queens, er…ladies, dressed to the nines, are arrayed on either side of him. They're in another garishly decorated hotel ball/conference room, waiting to rehash all the horrid things they've said behind each other's backs.
Read the full post here.
January 31, 2012
TALLS VS. SMALLS
Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Tribal Warfare
IT'S THE TALLS VERSUS THE SMALLS ON SUNDAY'S Real Housewives of Atlanta. On part one of their big trip to Africa, the ladies put their phones to use and filmed each other on the 16-hour plane ride, which seemed doomed from the get-go when each brought enough luggage to last an entire month.
Their first several moments in the Motherland are spent hauling their bags through the Capetown airport.
As a little glimpse of what I'm sure will be a vacation full of screaming, Marlo gives the ladies a little etiquette lesson.
Read the full post here.
January 30, 2012
HEARTBREAKING
Soap Actor Kills Self On Birthday After Euthanizing Beloved Dog
HEARTBROKEN AFTER EUTHANIZING his beloved healthy 5-year-old pit bull, sometime-soap actor Nick Santino killed himself on his 47th birthday.
Santino was found dead Wednesday in his condominium at One One Lincoln Plaza after taking an overdose of pills, one week the day after he put his dog to sleep, according to reports. A suicide note was found with him.
Read the full post here.
January 29, 2012
WE'RE GOING IN
Jersey Shore: Mission Vinny
THERE'S STILL A CLOUD OF SADNESS LOOMING OVER THE JERSEY SHORE HOUSE, but with the help of some strippers and wheelchairs (yes, wheelchairs), things may be looking up for our favorite club rats.
Read the full post here.
January 27, 2012
SOMETHING'S SPINNING
Pat Sajak & Vanna White Taped ' Wheel Of Fortune' Smashed
YESTERDAY WE LEARNED ABOUT DICK JOKES on Family Feud. Today it's time to hear about the boozy lunches that led to Pat Sajak and everybody's favorite letter-turner Vanna White hosting Wheel of Fortune while sauced.
Read the full post here.
January 26, 2012
MAKE IT WORK
Tim Gunn's Admission: A Cry For Help?
I WAS ALL LIKE STFU! AFTER TIM GUNN CONFESSED he's been fallow in the bedroom for 29 years. The Project Runway pacesetter epitomizes polish and charm. And he's a bonafide celebrity after serving nine years as mentor to fashion designers on the cable series hosted by Heidi Klum. He's even guest-starred as himself in episodes of Gossip Girl and How I Met Your Mother. On top of all that he's trim and handsome to boot. You just know sexual opportunity knocks.
Read the full post here.
AND THE ANSWER IS...
The Best Dick Joke For Pilots Courtesy of Family Feud
HERE'S A PILOT DICK JOKE FOR ALL YOUR AIRLINE FRIENDS, compliments of Family Feud.
Contestants on an episode that aired Monday were aghast at the sixth most popular response to the question: "What might an airplane pilot be holding on a long flight?"
Read the full post here.
January 25, 2012
RESOLUTIONS
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Going Out On A High
REALLY? A COLONOSCOPY AND A WEDDING? Is this really how you want to end the season?
At casa Vanderpump/Todd, things seem to be humming along but Lisa insists it's a chaotic mess of mass proportions. She's stripping flowers and venting frustration with Ken, who doesn't seem to be helping enough. She frightens him so he runs back to work. Her helping with the flowers must be part of her cost cutting move with wedding planner Kevin.
Read the full post here.
January 24, 2012
FORESHADOWING
Real Housewives Of Atlanta: The Calm Before The Sh*t Storm
THE LADIES ARE PREPARING FOR WHAT IS sure to be the wildest vacation in Housewives history, and Kim tries to feel sexy again by mummifying herself.
Read the full post here.
January 23, 2012
MIA
Jersey Shore: We Have A Sad Situation
TEAM MEATBALL FINDS ITSELF IN A TANGLED MESS, Pauly tries to use sex to fill the hole Vinny's left in his heart, Deena cries over the loss of her soulmate and Mike has trouble closing a door.
Read the full post here.
January 20, 2012
WELCOME BACK
American Idol Doesn't Miss A Beat On 11th Season Premier
STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! It's been a decade since American Idol debuted, and besides being the gold standard in reality singing competitions, what helps keep the show ahead of the pack is its never-ending supply of madness.
Really, what other show has late night hosts creating segments called "Steven Tyler's Creepy Leer of the Night"
Read the full post here.
January 19, 2012
STEPFORD HOUSEWIVES
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: SURiously?
THE EXPANSION OF LISA AND KEN'S RESTAURANT SUR is complete. You know what that means. Get your fancy pants on, we're going to a launch party. Gosh, I'm barely recovered from the grueling vacation in Hawaii. Let the air-kissing begin.
Read the full post here.
January 18, 2012
HE BLUFFED US
Ricky Gervais Pulls A Bait & Switch
RICKY GERVAIS PULLED THE OL' SWITCH AND BAIT: He promised prime ribbing but instead served cheap cuts.
"Phew! Thank fuck that's over," Gervais wrote in his first post-Golden Globes blog post.
Peewww is more like it.
Read the full post here.
January 16, 2012
FLAMMABLE MATERIAL
Alert The Authorities: Arsonist Ricky Gervais Is Unleashed
PUT THE FIREHOUSE ON STANDBY: RICKY GERVAIS WILL BE INCENDIARY as host of the upcoming Golden Globes.
The cutthroat comic tells Matt Lauer that he's contractually permitted to be no holds barred for this year's awards ceremony, which airs Sunday, Jan. 15.
Read the full post here.
January 06, 2012
THIS DECISION RATES A 10
Jock Shock: Howard Stern Joins America's Got Talent
TV STANDARDS REALLY HAVE FALLEN TO A NEW LOW: Howard Stern is joining the judging panel of America's Got Talent.
The shock jock will join Simon Cowell's prime-time talent show next spring while continuing to do his SiriusXM Satellite radio program.
Read the full post here.
December 15, 2011
Should We Read Anything Into Chuck Lorre & Jon Cryer's Kind Words On Charlie Sheen?
THERE ARE WORDS SPOKEN PUBLICLY, AND THEN THERE'S THE BACK STORY. Scratch the surface of the former and you'll often find strategy, revenge, self-interest and/or the big sell. Which brings me to the curiously generous words made this week by Chuck Lorre and Jon Cryer about bad boy Charlie Sheen.
Read the full post here.
December 14, 2011
SCORE
Kris Humphries Puts In Smooth But Somber Appearance On GMA
DID YOU CATCH KRIS HUMPHRIES ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA YESTERDAY? That dude came off smooth as creamy peanut butter. Of course, peanut butter only gets that way after being pummeled into paste.
Read the full post here.
December 10, 2011
FREUDIAN SLIP
Did Kourtney's Anal Discharge Make Scott's Eyes Bleed?
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN'S baby daddy must have been traumatized last week [as we were] after witnessing on Kourtney & Kim Take New York his crackpot girlfriend ooze anal discharge on the bed shared by Kim and her temporary tool, Kris Humphries.
Read the full post here.
December 03, 2011
DEAD ROMANCE
But How Does Scott Disick Feel About Baby No. 2?
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN EARNED A FEW BUCKS ANNOUNCING HER PREGNANCY on the cover of Us Weekly and sister Kimmy's been milking the P.R. machine with tweets of joy and congratulations. Yet has anybody asked how Scott Disick feels?
Read the full post here.
December 01, 2011
GIRLS RULE
And The Winners Are....The AMA Scorecard
THE COOL KIDS AND THE BEAUTIFULS converged in Los Angeles last night to celebrate the 2011 American Music Awards. Kanye must have been apoplectic 'cause that sneaky coquette Taylor Swift won for Artist Of The Year, Best Country Female Artist and Best Country Album for Speak Now. The night's prizes brings to 10 the number of AMA awards collected by the 21-year-old performer.
The night's other top prize winner was Adele, who bagged awards for Best Adult Contemporary Artist, Best Pop/Rock Female, and Best Pop/Rock Album for 21. She was unable to attend because she's recovering from surgery on her vocal chords.
Nicki Minaj won for Best Rap/Hip-Hop Artist and Best Rap/Hip-Hop Album for Pink Friday. "There's so much love in this room," she cooed her thanks. And Katy Perry took him a Special Achievement award.
The full list of winners at the jump.
Read the full post here.
November 21, 2011
BETTER NEVER THAN LATE
Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Tardy For The Party
IT'S KIM'S BABY SHOWER BRAVO STYLE! Which means the hour is pregnant with possibilities for misunderstandings, insults, slights and fights. And which brings us to Phaedra's husband Apollo and Cynthia's husband Peter almost coming to blows. At a baby shower. Thank God the convicted felon had the class to walk away.
Read the full post here.
RIPPING OFF PRETENSE
Hollywood Hair-Raising: Ricky Gervais Is Back Hosting Golden Globes
THE HAIRS ON THE NECKS OF COLLECTIVE HOLLYWOOD are quaking: Ricky Gervais is back!
The comic who cuts just below the stratum corneum returns to host his third consecutive Golden Globes Awards on Jan. 15, 2012.
Read the full post here.
November 17, 2011
THE GIGGY'S UP
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: She's Come Undone
WELL HERE'S AN EVENT WE HAVEN'T SEEN since Kennedy's $60,000 4th birthday party. Lisa's having a tea party for the girls. Just because. Don't you have tea parties, just because? Y'all don't? Pity.
Read the full post here.
November 15, 2011
PROLOGUE
Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Money Can't Buy You Love
It's time for a nice vacay from Haterville (NeNe's words, not mine)!
NeNe, Cynthia, and Kandi take a break from Atlanta and head to Miami. Kandi's hoping NeNe doesn't flip out this time around, since she and Kim got into it the last time they visited Magic City.
Read the full post here.
November 14, 2011
TURNING UP THE JUICE
Lisa VanderPump Joins Reality Housewives Who Sing For Their Lucre
O ET'S TRAVEL DOWN THE Housewives' musical lane from Atlanta housewife Kim Zolciak to the latest warbler, Beverly Hills' Lisa Vanderpump.
Read the full post here.
November 12, 2011
THE BUTT OF JOKES
Kim Kardashian's Sham Marriage Makes A Catchy Country Tune
IT'S OFFICIAL: KIM KARDASHIAN'S EARLY ABORTED MARRIAGE is the stuff of overwrought Country love songs.
If Saturday Night Live's cutting spoof of the reality star's divorce wasn't proof enough that shame has darkened the house of Kardansia, then check out last night's skewering on the Country Music Awards by Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood and Modern Family star Eric Stonestreet.
Read the full post here.
November 10, 2011
ROCK AND HARD PLACE
Dr. Drew Pinsky Throws Lifeboat To Drowning Octomom (But What's The Catch?)
THERE'S NO DIGNIFIED WAY OUT OF THE SPECTACLE THAT'S BECOME NADYA SULEMAN'S LIFE. Now drowning in debt and overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenting 14 children alone, the Octomom has become a freak show in the carnival that is American TV.
Read the full post here.
November 03, 2011
DIRTY PLAY
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Cracked
AT GAME NIGHT, BRANDI'S CALLING A TIMEOUT.
When Kyle brings up her kid "whipping out his penis at a party and peeing on the grass," again, Brandi goes ballistic, throws some F-bombs and shouts "stop insulting my kid and my parenting skills!"
Read the full post here.
October 18, 2011
TIDBITS
The Ins & Outs & Ups & Downs Of Some Real Housewives
BEING A REALITY TV HOUSEWIFE SEEMS LIKE THE GIFT THAT JUST KEEPS GIVING. And no, we're not talking STDs.
Read the full post here.
October 15, 2011
DEEP
Revenge: The Doctor Won't See You Now
WE OPEN WITH EMILY AT THE SHRINK telling the totally made-up story about how she survived the horrific car accident that killed her parents. She says she''s unable to move her relationship with Daniel forward.
Dr. Banks is either next on her shit list -- or a means to an end.
Read the full post here.
October 13, 2011
FAKE
Credit: Albert Michael/startraksphoto.com
Kardashian's Made-For-TV Wedding Is Canned Cheese
WE FINALLY GOT TO SEE THE SPECTACLE OF AMERICA'S FAKE ROYAL COUPLE -- Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries -- getting married. Yes, she's only a reality star, but Kim Kardashian is as famous as Beyonce or Lady Gaga minus the whole talent thing. We've watched her last five years unfold before our eyes beginning with her "O" face on her famous sex tape, her mascara-laden "ugly" faces on her show, to all the times we watched her mother sell her. Now we get to see her marry the man of her reality dreams, NBA basketball player Kris Humphries. Sorry, Ray J.
Read the full post here.
October 11, 2011
THE ART OF WAR
Revenge: A Career Aborted
EMILY/AMANDA IS FLIPPING THROUGH HER revenge mementos when a SWAT team busts in led by Victoria. Because the SWAT team can't function without the supervision of a WASP.
Read the full post here.
October 06, 2011
NEXT CHAPTER
Spencer Pratt, 'Whoriest Of Famewhores,' Goes Back To School
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN REALITY TV ASSHOLES BEGIN TO SMELL? They have to get a real job.
And so, Spencer Pratt, asshole extraordinaire and former villain on The Hills, is going back to school.
Read the full post here.
October 01, 2011
DEEP
Revenge: Backstabbing Noir
A MERE 12 WEEKS BEFORE THAT FATAL NIGHT when Daniel ended up face down in the Hamptons sand, Ashley whisks Emily away from the match to a private linen-sheet fortress, er, I mean chic tent, for some champers and a frank discussion about how "dangerous" Daniel is.
Read the full post here.
September 29, 2011
WINK
Sesame Street Spoofs Glee With The Letter "G"
THE WIZARDS AT SESAME STREET HAVE reshaped Glee's self-absorbed high schoolers into the "G" club with all the same ticks and tempests as the TV characters.
Read the full post here.
September 22, 2011
'DRAMA' CAMP
Revenge: A Superior Concentration Of Toxic Phony
OOH, DEEP. WE'RE STARTING OFF WITH A CONFUCIUS QUOTE: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Confucius also say that a man who stands on the toilet is high on pot. But I digress.
Our narrator opens with:
When I was a little girl, my understanding of revenge was as simple as the Sunday school proverbs it hid behind. Neat little morality slogans like, "Do unto others" and "Two wrongs don't make a right. But two wrongs can never make a right. Two wrongs can never equal each other."
Read the full post here.
TRUTH TORPEDOED
There Will Be Blood: Charlie Sheen Bowed But Not Broken After Roast
GETTING EVISCERATED BY CRUEL WITS HAS HAD A REVELATORY EFFECT ON CHARLIE SHEEN.
During last weekend's roast taped by Comedy Central, comic Hollywood launched its own own torpedo of truth at the notorious party boy with a penchant for porn and rough play with women. No topic was taboo.
"It's amazing," joked actress Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy. "Despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys and your liver, the only thing you've had removed is your kids."
Read the full post here.
September 13, 2011
PROCESSING GRIEF
Suicide As Story Arc: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap
THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
Funereal music plays as the Housewives sans Taylor gather at Adrienne Maloof's mansion. Lisa VanderCamp walks across the street from her mansion, holding hands with husband Ken.
Read the full post here.
September 06, 2011
THE ORIGINAL MEAL GIRLS
BBC Brings Back The Delicious Debauchery Of Absolutely Fabulous
I JUST READ THE MOST AWESOME NEWS: THE BBC reports that three new specials of the 90s' addiction Absolutely Fabulous are filming right now!
Read the full post here.
August 30, 2011
PRESENTING
Foster The Beautiful People: The MTV 2011 VMA Awards!
Beyonce Pops! Britney Shocks! Gaga Drags! Chris Brown Rocks! And Justin Beliebs
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE VMAs that makes everyone bring out their inner weirdo?
Things are popping off this weird dude I've never seen before...and then I'm like, oh wait, it's Lady Gaga. I didn't recognize her with her dick out, that's all.
Read the full post here.
August 29, 2011
MYSTERY RESOLVED
Report: Russell Armstrong Smashed Real Housewife's Face In June
EVER SINCE REAL HOUSEWIFE HUBBY RUSSELL ARMSTRONG WAS FOUND HANGED MONDAY IN AN APPARENT SUICIDE, there's been lots of squawking about the evils of reality TV, a claim that I'd never dispute.
Though Russell Armstrong reportedly told friends that appearing on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with wife Taylor Armstrong ruined his life, there's little doubt that he was battling demons long before appearing on that show.
Read the full post here.
August 19, 2011
TOO REAL
Estranged Husband Of Beverly Hills Housewife Dead Of Apparent Suicide
SO I'M AT THE LUNCH TABLE IN THE BREAK ROOM telling a friend how curious I am about the newly announced Real Housewives tour. He suddenly blurts out that one of the housewives husband's committed suicide. "Get the fuck outta here," I say in my best Philly accent.
Read the full post here.
August 16, 2011
CRAZY UP CLOSE
Taking Crazy On The Road: Bravo Announces Real Housewives 3-City Tour
OMG, THERE'S A TOUR. Yup, a mixed bag of reality nuts from all the different Real Housewives' franchises will be joining each other and hitting different stops across the U.S. this fall.
Read the full post here.
THE DEAL IS DONE
Encore! Steve Tyler, Jennifer Lopez & Randy Jackson Will Return As American Idol Judges
THE VOTES HAVE BEEN CAST AND THE WINNERS ARE IN: ALL THREE JUDGES FROM LAST YEAR'S AMERICAN IDOL WILL RETURN TO THE HITMAKING TV SHOW FOR ITS 11TH SEASON.
Read the full post here.
August 10, 2011
THE SEARCH FOR MEANING
Bert & Ernie & The Stories We Tell Ourselves
HALF THE FUN OF WATCHING TV IS SEARCHING FOR THE UNSPOKEN METAPHOR OR MEANING.
For instance, who among us hasn't heard the theory that Scooby and Shaggy are potheads who keep their toking on the lowdown but can't disguise the inevitable hungering results?
Read the full post here.
PARSING DIFFERENCES
The Real Housewives Franchises: Unhappy In Their Own Ways
SEASON AFTER SEASON, city to city, Bravo has given humankind a reason to laugh at our conceits and deceits: The Real Housewives franchise.
Over the years, New Jersey, New York City, Orange County, and Atlanta have given us a look at the best players their cities have to offer. And while each series couldn't be more different from the other, there are two traits that bind the shows' together: all of the women seem insane, and at least one of them fancies herself a singer.
Read the full post here.
August 09, 2011
STARTERS
Various & Sundry Real Housewives Tidbits
MICHAELE AND TARIQ SALAHI GET OFF ON EJECULATIONS. The Beverly Hills Housewives promise you shall know their velocity. And will NeNe Leakes place nice-nice with Atlanta's new playa?
Read the full post here.
August 01, 2011
REALITY MONDAY
Victim Of Love Brandi Glanville Joins Cast Of Beverly Hills Housewives
MEET NEW BEVERY HILLS HOUSEWIVE Brandi Glanville. An excellent choice, I must say, as Brandi's life is much more drama filled than castmates Camille Grammer, Kyle and Kim Richards, Taylor Armstrong and Lisa Vanderpump.
Read the full post here.
July 25, 2011
SWING!
Mad Men's Opening Credits Re-Imagined
WHO IS PAUL ROGERS????
That's what I want to know after watching his reimagined opening credits for Mad Men embedded above.
Read the full post here.
July 21, 2011
GRADUATING
Glee's Popular Kids Getting Kicked Out Of McKinley High
THE HIT DRAMEDY GLEE IS GETTING REAL.
When Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson and the other incoming seniors graduate next spring, the show won't follow them to college. And Mr. Shue will not follow them to a fictional place of higher learning.
Read the full post here.
July 14, 2011
WHY WORRY TODAY?
Let's Get Pastied! A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
LET'S BE HONEST: IF ANY OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK had a good head on their shoulders, they would not be a "Real Housewife of New York."
When faced with trying times, these women solve their problems in more unconventional, train-wreck sort of ways. Like throwing a burlesque party in hopes of ridding yourself of looming bankruptcy.
Read the full post here.
July 08, 2011
STICKY LOVE
They've Got A Fetish For Each Other: Ice Loves Coco
ME AND MY HUBS ARE HOOKED ON ICE LOVES COCO. We love it -- at first just because they have the world's cutest pit bull, Spartacus. Apparently, every time Ice tries to kiss Coco, all forty or so pounds of Spartacus jumps up and tries to get in the middle of the action.
Read the full post here.
June 28, 2011
ROUGH PLAY
'You Dirty Slut': A Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap
WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW! ON THIS WEEK'S Real Housewives of New Jersey” Teresa and Co. head to Joe's family cabin for a nice relaxing weekend away from the stresses of everyday suburban life. Well, relaxing for a Guidice affair.
Read the full post here.
June 27, 2011
THAT'S TWO STRIKES AGAINST JERRY
New York Man Calls Foul Against Jerry Seinfeld's 'Marriage Ref'
A NEW YORK MAN IS BLAMING JERRY SEINFELD'S CRITICALLY SKEWERED SERIES The Married Ref for busting up his marriage.
Howie Kohlenberg, 47, claims after he and Christine Kohlenberg appeared as a bickering couple on the show's debut March 4, 2010 episode, his wife became obsessed with becoming a reality TV star.
Read the full post here.
LOOKING AHEAD
Jon Hamm Signs For Three More Years Of 'Mad Men'
THE DEAL IS DONE: DEADLINE'S Nikki Finke says Jon Hamm has signed an "eight figure" contract for three more years of Mad Men, AMC's 60s ad agency drama.
Hamm will also direct season five's debut episode.
Read the full post here.
June 23, 2011
UNLEASH YOUR INNER DRAG
Breathing Is Overrated: A RuPaul's Drag U Recap
D"Deep in the Lake Titicaca Valley, a school was formed by drag queens to help biological women unleash their inner diva and let the world have it. We here at Drag Queen U are in the business of putting drag queen heads on women's shoulders."
So does this give me license to stop doing the laundry because I'm just too much of a diva for that mess? I'm about to find out, because the professors are back. And with important lessons like, "thinking that you're fat and ugly is no way to go through life" and "straddle 'em," "I'm not sure if I want to be on the dean's list or in detention." Wait, no, I take that back. I definitely want to be on the dean's list. May as well give it my all.
Read the full post here.
June 22, 2011
GROW UP
Get Your Big Girl Panties On: A Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap
THE EXHAUSTING GUIDICE-GORGA FAMILY FEUD FINALLY COMES TO A HEAD… KIND OF. On this week’s Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa meets face-to-face with her brother Joe to discuss their troubled relationship, and then prepares for what the world only hopes is the last confrontation between these divided families.
Read the full post here.
June 20, 2011
SHOOTING THE MESSENGER
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
OH WOW, RAMONA'S PLANNING AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH HER HUSBAND MARIO AT A DOWNTOWN HOTEL. We watch as she lights candles, strews rose petals and sets the mood.
Read the full post here.
June 18, 2011
REACHING
A Star Is Born: A Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap
TONIGHT'S REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY IS SUPPOSED TO BE HEARTWARMING, with the Gorgas swallowing their pride to attend a Guidice-filled event. Instead, we witnessed the birth of the franchise's newest "pop star"!
Read the full post here.
June 13, 2011
R.A. OF THE RIAD
You Can't Take Them Anywhere: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
WE LAST LEFT RAMONA SOBBING ON A BED LIKE A 40s FILM STAR.
The only thing she didn't do was throw an arm across her forehead. We pick up with Jill angrily babbling to Kelly and the Countess about Ramona's terrible behavior upstairs, how horrible she's been and how Jill will never let it happen again. The Countess, good capo that she is, agrees and says that she'll see to it, all but kissing one of Jill's rings.
Read the full post here.
June 12, 2011
RIGHT-THINKING
David Simon For U.S. Attorney General
NUANCE MAY NOT BE U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC HOLDER'S STRONG SUIT judging by his demand that David Simon make another season of his hit The Wire.
Read the full post here.
June 11, 2011
STILL STEWING
'Ingredientses' To A Family Feud: A Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap
WITH NO YELLING OR HAIR-PULLING ON THIS WEEK'S REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY, LOOKS LIKE THE Gorga-Guidice feud may have finally reached a turning point. If Joe Gorga can finally get over himself.
Read the full post here.
May 31, 2011
IT'S SHOWTIME
Lauren Alaina Gets Her Groove Back In Time For American Idol
THANK GOD THERE'S A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE.
Dr. Sean Nassari revealed last night that 16-year-old Lauren Alaina blew a vocal chord while "really pushing her voice to get the maximum sound out." But after taking "a lot of medicines," Alaina was ready to go on the first night of the two-part American Idol finale.
Read the full post here.
May 25, 2011
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE
Harshing Our Mellow: A Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
VICKI AND DONN ARE BICKERING ABOUT LAUNDRY, OF ALL THINGS. You know you've reached the end when you bicker over the mundane things in life.
Vicki says that they don't touch anymore, that they're really strangers living in the same big lovely house. Son Michael tells us they don't spend enough time together but Vicki says that it really doesn't matter. When they're together there's nothing to say. Sad.
Read the full post here.
May 24, 2011
MEOW
The Claws Are Out: A Real Housewife Of New Jersey Recap
WHEN THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY GET together for the latest Posche fashion show, everyone keeps their fingers crossed that there won't be any table flipping or hair pulling. Well, everyone except Kim G.
Read the full post here.
HAVE PINOT, WILL TRAVEL
Thugs & Cocktails: A Real Housewives of New York Recap
WE OPEN THIS WEEK WITH THE MELLIFLUOUS SOUND OF LUANNA SPEAKING FRENCH.
I mean, it's better than hearing her sing. She's showing off at lunch with Sonja. She wants to chat about the tension between the ladies. Not that she's had a hand in it. They should call her Countess Instigator. So, instead of letting the ladies maintain a bit of distance, just for a short time, she thinks a trip to Morocco with will bring the peace. She's been there many times with Count Fuckedherover and calls it magical.
Read the full post here.
May 22, 2011
RECORD-BREAKING
It's Country Vs. Country In Final American Idol Showdown
AFTER A RECORD-SHATTERING 95 million votes were cast, the 10th American Idol finale will have its first country-on-country showdown.
Once we saw the three finalists visit their respective hometowns, it was time to bid adieu to 20-year-old raspy rocker Haley Reinhart, who nonetheless declared herself a winner.
Read the full post here.
May 19, 2011
SHOWDOWN
In It To Win It: An American Idol Recap
THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE BEGINS.
The three American Idol finalists visited their hometowns where they were greeted like national heroes, then each had the privilege of being coached by Her Royal Fierceness, Beyonce Knowles.
When the trio returned to Hollywood, they each performed three songs and made things spicy for the voters.
Read the full post here.
EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES
Texas Boots & Buttinsky: A Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
AFTER THE EXPLOSIVE RETURN OF THE NEW JERSEY HOUSEWIVES, THESE O.C. ladies seem laid back and tedious. But let’s enjoy the sunshine while we can. There's a trip to San Antonio!
We're shoe shopping with Alexis and her assistant. She's preparing for a 2-day trip to San Antonio to chill with Gretchen. While buying some cowboy boots she asks the clerk if they have any about four inches higher. He jokes that sure he can find her some higher. She falls for this and then he says, uh no. Then, when he shows her a distressed pair. She says they look old. Her assistant all but says, "DUH, distressed." But he just says, 'Yea, distressed.' What kinda designer is she?
Read the full post here.
May 18, 2011
FAMILY
Mob Wars: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Returns
WHAT IS THIS, THE SOPRANOS PART DEUX?
If we've learned anything so far from Real Housewives of New Jersey, it's that unless it's a heartwarming Manzo affair, never let the family get together. On Monday's season premiere, Teresa and family attend her nephew's christening, and the whole event plays out like a bad episode of the mobsters' series.
Read the full post here.
May 17, 2011
TIDBITS
Selling & Selling Out On The Real Housewives Franchise
OM God, will someone please tell Slade Smiley that he is "not the Housewife!"
Read the full post here.
May 13, 2011
THE INEVITABLE 'TROLL'
Ashton Kutcher To Play Womanizing Jerk On Two And A Half Men
TWITTER'S LOSS WILL BE PRIME TIME'S GAIN AS PRETTY BOY ASHTON KUTCHER SIGNS ON TO REPLACE CHARLIE SHEEN.
Read the full post here.
SHOCKER
James Durbin Takes A Tearful Exit On American Idol
ZING! Blindsiding nearly every American Idol fan, voters tossed judge and crowd favorite James Durbin.
It was a shock that the 22-year-old rocker didn't make it to the final three. From the beginning the judges had dubbed him "in it to win it."
Read the full post here.
ONE PART PROVOCATEUR
Lady Gaga Concocts A Heady Brew Of Drama On American Idol
FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW, GETTING PISSED OFF AT THE JUDGES PAYS OFF PRETTILY FOR HALEY REINHART.
Twice now the Idol hopeful has turned judges' criticism into high-energy I-told-you-so performances. This week, when the theme is "inspiration,'' we have Lady Gaga to thank for giving Reinhart the extra push she needed. Mother Monster guest-coached the remaining four contestants, encouraging all of them to amp up the theatrics.
Read the full post here.
May 12, 2011
CLOUDED JUDGEMENTS
The Fog Of Woe: A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
TAMRA HAS DRINKS WITH LYNN, WHOSE LACK OF MONEY eliminated her from the show, as it did Jeanna. Cameos are allowed though. Good to see ya, Lynn. How's your sweet husband and two bratty teens?
Read the full post here.
May 10, 2011
KA-CHING
Bristol Palin Lands Reality Show, Proves Teen Pregnancy Pays Off For Some
BRITNEY PALIN ONCE AGAIN PROVES TEEN PREGNANCY IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON DELIVERING -- AS LONG AS YOUR MOMMY'S A REPUBLICAN LEADER.
Read the full post here.
May 09, 2011
GOING OUT PROUD & STRONG
Beautiful Loser: Jacob Lusk Is Out At American Idol
JACOB LUSK WAS BUMPED FROM AMERICAN IDOL BUT WHAT A CLASSY EXIT HE TOOK.
Lusk was tossed as Idol's 10th season squeaks to a close.
Read the full post here.
May 06, 2011
HOLDING STEADY
Pressure Cookin': American Idol's Five Finalists Vie To Survive
THE PRESSURE'S GETTING STEAMY HOT ON AMERICAN IDOL. The five remaining contestants -- James Durbin, Haley Reinhart, Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery, and Jacob Lusk -- performed two songs each, a hit from the past and a current chart-topper.
Read the full post here.
May 05, 2011
THE 'DOLL' HOUSE
The Peaks & Valleys Of The Dolls: A RuPaul's Drag Race Reunion
DARKNESS. DRAMATIC DARKNESS.
Then, a tasteful pop of red. Then a flash of classic pinstripes.
You are about to be entranced by RuPaul.
"You know the law. Thirteen glamazons enter. One drag superstar leaves. Let the Thunderdome begin!"
Read the full post here.
May 04, 2011
REMEMBER WHEN
Where Were You When You Heard Osama Was Dead?
NBC ANCHOR BRIAN WILLIAMS WAS DOING "what old people do -- catching up on the Tivo" after enjoying dinner out with his wife -- when he checked his Blackberry and found an email from a senior White House official.
Read the full post here.
May 03, 2011
WTF
Alexis Is Bi-Winning! A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DINNER PARTY FROM HELL.
Is it me or is this franchise becoming one dinner party disaster after another. Tonight it's Peggy's turn to be the dismayed hostess. All the ladies are invited. Good times.
Read the full post here.
OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE
The Rent Is Too Damn Low Party: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
CINDY AND SONJA MEET FOR SHOPPING at Vivienne Tam and lunch at Cipriani's. Unfortunately for Sonja, who's really hungry, Cindy has chipped her veneers. She's brought some Fixodent with her and the two proceed to try to fix it on the street. Germs be damned. I'm sure there's a really nice ladies' lounge at Vivienne Tam's. But Cindy doesn't want anyone to see her like that. I understand. But Sonja doesn't.
Read the full post here.
April 30, 2011
OUT
Casey Abrams' Spell Breaks: An American Idol Recap
AND THEN THERE WERE FIVE.
American Idol sadly said goodbye to Casey Abrams on Thursday night. Abrams was saved by the judges earlier in the season after the panel believed he was wrongfully landed at the bottom of the pack.
Read the full post here.
April 29, 2011
BUT WILL YOU STILL LOVE HIM...
James Durbin Woos & Wows: An American Idol Recap
AMERICAN IDOL PAID TRIBUTE TO YET another legend, and this time it was a lady. A true class act whose music has been celebrated for years: Miley Cyrus!
Just kidding. But she was one of the coaches this week for the top six's Carole King tribute.
The teen idol crashed Lauren Alaina's rehearsal with Jimmy Iovine, thrilling the young contestant. Cyrus gave Alaina some generic "be yourself" advice and told her that she listens to Alaina's music "all the time." She must've also dressed the contestant for her performance, because she came out singing Where You Lead looking like Cyrus' stand-in for Hannah Montana.
Read the full post here.
April 28, 2011
TIME TO RULE
If Looks Could Kill: RuPaul's Drag Race Grand Finale
OMGOMGOMG I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
It's the season finale, and we're down to Raja, Manila Luzon and Alexis Matteo.
Let's dive right in, since last week was a bullshit clip show. Yara's gone, and Alexis is still bummed to have lost his friend.
Read the full post here.
April 26, 2011
SPY IN THE HOUSE OF LOATHE
It's Always The Woman's Fault: A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
I USED TO THINK THAT BEING THE RIGHT-HAND ASSISTANT to a person of means would be the most fabulous job in the world. Then I started watching these reality shows and now… not so much. I'll share my reasoning in a bit.
Although this seems to be Tamra's year to shine in Orange County, she takes a back seat and drifts in and out of this episode. Although I never see these housewives wearing anything I'd remotely buy, it's interesting that they seem to be at the height of Orange County fashion.
Read the full post here.
April 25, 2011
I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
Days Of Wine & ...Whining: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
LET ME GET ONE THING OFF MY CHEST BEFORE I START THIS RECAP: In the opening montage, Jill says she knows who she is and she owns it. Then why, pray tell, does she pipe up every episode about how much she's changed? For the better? Then Bravo shows us almost immediately that she hasn't. She makes my head hurt.
Read the full post here.
April 24, 2011
OUT
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: Stefano Langone's Idol Ouster Shakes James Durbin
I CALLED IT.
In one of the most predictable eliminations of the season, American Idol said goodbye to Stefano Langone Thursday night.
Not so predictable, however, was James Durbin's reaction to the elimination.
Read the full post here.
April 21, 2011
WHOO HOO
Casey Abrams Steals The Night With A Kiss: An American Idol Recap
THE SEVEN SURVIVING AMERICAN IDOL WANNABES OPENED THE NIGHT WITH A POPPY VERSION OF PINK'S So What and were joined in surprise appearances by ousted contestants Karen Rodriguez, Pia Toscano, Thia Megia, Ashthon Jones, Naima Adepapo and Paul McDonald.
Read the full post here.
April 20, 2011
REMEMBER WHEN?
Snap! Edumacation: A RuPaul's Drag Race Rewind
SO IT'S COME TO THIS: A CLIP SHOW.
The first few minutes bring the spotlight directly above Ru, who soaks it all up as she sings her new single, Superstar with very little movement. I thought there would be literal grand gestures; I've never seen anything so stiff. Although I'm sure she'd disagree.
"Tonight, it's a superstar edition of RuPaul's Drag Race," she tells us. "Get ready to gag as we flash back on this season's most unforgettable moments. Watch as this year's queens bare more than just their latex boobies in never-before-seen, up-close-and-personal moments. Join our extra-special guests, Jujubee, Raven and Queen Tyra as we count down the top 10 most sickening fits and fashion."
Read the full post here.
April 18, 2011
CONFESS YOUR SINS
What Would Jesus Barbie Do? A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
WHERE AM I? NEW YORK -- UH, NO, IN ORANGE COUNTY WATCHING VICKI deliver a housewarming gift to Tamra at her new tiny house. Which is still bigger than mine.
Tamra tells Vicki how nice her single life (with kids) is. Then, she tells her that that damn Peggy ran into Simon and she let him know where Tamra was vacationing. That pisses me and her off. I know how it is to want someone to definitely not know where you are. Horrified, she says she started getting vicious text messages and Simon showed up at her house while she was gone and hung out with her mom and the kids. She didn't like that AT ALL. Him coming over there whenever he pleases. Their divorce is not going well.
Read the full post here.
A CRIMINAL IN TVLAND
Busted! Ashley Kauffman Gets Nabbed By The Pretty Police
THE AUDIENCE COORDINATOR WHO TOLD ASHLEY KAUFFMAN she was too fat to sit in the front row at American Idol let slip a dirty secret: TV loves the thin and pretty.
Read the full post here.
April 17, 2011
PROTEST MOVEMENT
The Fight For Ego Rights: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
I WANT SONJAY'S house. Badly.
Anyway, Sonja's getting her makeup done in her fab bathroom in her beautiful townhouse. The girls are gathering there before heading out to the marriage equality march. Here comes LuAnn down the stairs. Kelly joins them shortly, bringing flowers and candles. She's so gifty. Sonja thinks so, too.
Read the full post here.
April 15, 2011
LOUD
Paul McDonald's Old Time Rock & Roll Expires: An American Idol Recap
NOT EVERYONE LIKES THAT Old Time Rock and Roll.
And so Nashville singer Paul McDonald gets bid adieu on this week's American Idol.
After 53 million votes were cast, McDonald landed at the bottom along with Stefano Langone (for the second consecutive week) and Haley Reinhart.
Read the full post here.
YOUR CIVIC DUTY
Thumbs Up For American Idol's Movie Night
LIGHTS! CAMERA! IDOL!
This week's American Idol contest has the eight remaining hopefuls singing iconic songs from the big screen.
The Pia Toscano-less episode opened with a montage featuring the recently eliminated contestant, reminding this game show's players that "every vote counts."
Read the full post here.
April 14, 2011
CASHING IN, CRASHING OUT
Breaking The Bank: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
TONIGHT'S FORAY INTO THE MONIED CLASS, "MAKE DAT MONEY,'' has an underlying theme whether or not it was intentional: There's a fine line between 'too much' and 'just enough.' At first, I thought this was a bitchy way for me to describe the way the queens applied foundation, but then I realized, wait, maybe underneath this judgy exterior lies a profound interior. Or just a shitload of truth serum, aka vodka.
Potato, potaaato.
Read the full post here.
April 12, 2011
NO SHAME
Boobs, Surgery, Presents: A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
VICKI DECIDES TO LEAVE WORK BEHIND AND GO ON A BOAT RIDE WITH HER FAMILY....AND SOME WORK FOLKS.
That's not exactly leaving work behind, Vicki. She says she wants the biggest boat in the marina! Why? You know why. Because she works! Damn it. Then she almost immediately gets pissed because Don laughs when her son call her obnoxious for wanting a boat docked at the marina with her name "Victoria" on it. Now she's not having a good time anymore. That Don. He spoils everything! She actually pouts.
Read the full post here.
HISTORY REPEATS
Let Bygones Be Bygones: A Real Housewives Of New York Recap
HERE WE ARE, BACK IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS. Probably because it thinks it'll wake up with a knife in its back.
Since the ladies have vowed to let bygones be bygones and start fresh, we'll do the same. Let's see how long this lasts.
Read the full post here.
April 09, 2011
TABLOID PICKINS'
Real Housewife Morsels, Some Tastier Than Others
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
OK! has a short interview with new NY housewife Cindy Barshop. As you all probably knew, she's a 47 year old spa owner.
Read the full post here.
April 08, 2011
TWISTED FATE
American Idol Shocker! Pia Toscano Gets Tossed & Judges Get Peeved
AND THEN THERE WERE EIGHT.
American Idol said goodbye to sultry songstress Pia Toscano, creating uproar amongst the judges, audience, and even the saved contestants.
Read the full post here.
STELLAR
Pulling Out All The Stops: American Idol Finalists Shine Under Pressure
IT'S DOE OR DIE FROM HERE ON OUT ON AMERICAN IDOl, and tonight's performances from the final nine contestants shows they're not going down without a fight.
This week’s Idol pays tribute to Rock and Roll Hall of Famers. So yeah, Steven Tyler pays tribute to himself -- I mean, Aerosmith -- in a lengthy introduction segment celebrating rock 'n roll and Steven Tyler.
Read the full post here.
April 07, 2011
TOUCHDOWN
Strip Sync Poker: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
"IF THEY BRING SHANGELA BACK ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA HAVE TO PACK UP MY [balls? Boobs for Drag Queens? It's anyone's guess] and leave forever," Raja tells us at the end of the last episode. Whatever he packs up or tucks in, I hope they catch it on camera this episode. Tonight, an eliminated queen gets a second chance – who will it be?!
Raja continues to gloat about how free he feels and how he could just let a bird settle on his finger and sing, and I'm waiting for Manila to come over and lecture him about that not-so-fresh feeling or some shit. Jeez. I get it. You're happy that they packed Shangela back into her box and shipped her back to "Bitch, please, USA."
Read the full post here.
April 05, 2011
NO YOU CAN'T
Jon Stewart Skewers Obama For His Hypocrisy On Transparency
NOT THAT IT'S WORTH WASTING OUR BREATH OVER, OR THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WE CAN DO, BUT BARACK OBAMA'S RECORD ON GOVERNMENT OPENNESS IS LAUGHABLE.
Read the full post here.
INJECTING POISON
Keeping A Stiff Upper Face: A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
NEW HOUSEWIFE PEGGY, HER HUBBY MICAH AND HER PLASTIC SURGEON ARE YUKKING IT UP IN THE SURGEON'S OFFICE.
Peggy needs an adjustment since one of her implants now veers to the left. Goodness. Peggy loves all things natural except breasts. She admits to OC women that breast augmentation is like a trip to the supermarket. And, she says, don't give her shit cause she has fake boobs. O, I won't Peggy, it's enough for me that I don't live in Stepford.
Read the full post here.
DOWN AND OUT
Justice Is Served On American Idol: Naimi & Thia Sent Packing
NOW THAT CASEY ABRAMS' SAVE IS SO LAST WEEK, it's time to say goodbye to two contestants on American Idol: Naima Adedapo and Thia Megia.
More than 55 million votes were cast -- more than double last week's episode, most likely due to the fact that the fans' favorites now had double the chance of elimination.
Read the full post here.
April 01, 2011
THIS DREAM'S THE TICKET
Elton John Brings Out The Best On American Idol
CASEY ABRAMS'S GOT TO FEEL PRESSURE AFTER LAST WEEK'S BIG SAVE FROM THE JUDGES. And just in case you missed it, last night's American Idol relived the moment in a goosebump-inducing intro video.
The 11 hopefuls -- facing a double elimination this week -- paid tribute to the legendary Elton John last night, and Scotty McCreery managed to find John's only country song (Country Comfort) to kick-off the episode. Scotty may be a one-trick pony, but at least he nails it every time.
Read the full post here.
March 31, 2011
DOWN & OUT
The Lovin', The Witch & The Wardrobes: A Real Housewives Of Miami Recap
AND SO SEASON ONE OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI ends with a lap-dance, floppy hats, a shirtless underage boy, and a self-proclaimed witch stirring up trouble in her cauldron of vibes.
Marysol shows her mother, Elsa, the pictures from her wedding. In a beautifully tender moment between the surgically-altered mother-daughter duo, Elsa tells Marysol that she loves Philippe, and thinks he's a wonderful person.
Read the full post here.
March 30, 2011
WIGGING OUT
The 'Ho' Of Whoville & Other Hair-Raising Hjinks: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
FIVE GALS TO GO. Manila talks about how, this week in the workroom, there's a huge void that used to be taken up by Carmen. And I'm thinking, No, no, Carmen WAS the huge void.
And Raja thinks she's hot shit now, because she won the punk challenge. Granted, girlfriend's got a killer style, but uh, it's not necessary to talk about how you're not gonna be nice anymore. Every competitor, on every reality show since the fucking Real World has said that, and I am sick of hearing it. "I'm done being nice, I wanna win this thing" is my generation's "Where's the beef" for real.
Read the full post here.
March 29, 2011
REALITY WINS OUT
BravoAndy Learns Not All Real Housewives Created Equal
I HAVE A LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES. I adore and loathe them in equal parts. So the recent buzz that there won't be another edition of Miami or DC made me wanna shout Haaaleeelooooo!
"After DC failed in the ratings and Miami just bombed, they realized they can't just start a show anywhere and it will succeed," a source tells RadarOnline.
Since all of these ladies know how to get their share of press, I expect I'll see them in the future. Just take DC's Michaele Salahi. She got on Celebrity Rehab while not being a "celebrity" and not having an addiction. But I won't protest that because she definitely does have an addiction, one she shares with hubby Tariq -- to fame! Those two are amazing, really. They have no money, no shame and will crash a Chuck E. Cheese if there are cameras.
Read the full post here.
March 26, 2011
SAVED!
That Was Close! Casey Gets Reprieve From American Idol Judges
THANK GOODNESS FOR THE POWER OF THE JUDGES! Casey Abrams scored the lowest amount of fan votes after Wednesday's Motown-themed episode, landing him in the bottom of the pack.
But no one was sent packing Thursday night. Thia and Stefano were expected to land in the bottom three, but Casey joining them at the bottom was quite the shock. Randy, Jennifer, and Steven used their one save to keep Casey in the competition, where he's proven he belongs.
When the reprieve came, a grateful Casey dashed toward the judges saying, "Are you really? Why would you do this? I can't believe it."
Read the full post here.
March 25, 2011
PITCHY PERFECT
American Idol Wannabes Relive Motown's Magic
THIS WEEK'S IDOL WANNABES PERFORMED MOTOWN CLASSICS in one of the most captivating episodes of the past few seasons, and we learned there ain't no cover high enough to keep it from yooouuu!
Jacob Lutz finally toned himself down to sing Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell’s You're All I Need, and reminded the judges why he deserves to be there.
Read the full post here.
March 24, 2011
IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE
Two Balls & A Bride: A Real Housewives Of Miami Recap
MARYSOL'S GETTING READY FOR HER ASPEN WEDDING TO PHILIPPE, AND NOW IT'S HER fiancé's turn to feel pre-wedding jitters. Last week it was Marysol who needed to be calmed down about the spur of the moment ceremony.
The couple have their wedding pictures taken on the Silver Queen Gondola overlooking Aspen's magestic mountains while Marysol frets that the cable could break before the ceremony. But the two make it alive to the peak, and she and Philippe walked down the snowy mountain aisle. Marysol is overcome with emotion and bursts into tears as the priest reads aloud Philippe’s vows: "I have loved you more each day than the day before."
Read the full post here.
March 23, 2011
THINGS ARE HEATING UP
Something Is Not Quite Right: A Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
ALEXIS COMES OVER TO VISIT WITH GRETCHEN, who's wearing a crown in reference to Alexis' 'princess' comment last week. Still. Not. Over. It.
Come on.
They chat about new housewife Peggy, who's been invited to go shopping with them. The three of them are soooooooooooooo California. Tall, leggy, thin blondes with big boobs. The ladies shop and sip champagne as Gretchen and Peggy size each other up. Peggy thinks Gretchen is real Texas glam while Gretchen thinks Peggy is too old to be trying on cute clothes and trying to be young. Alexis has her fingers crossed all will go well between the two.
Read the full post here.
OWNING IT
Drag-A-Palooza!: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
SO THERE ARE FIVE QUEENS LEFT IN THE CASTLE.
And Yara, still reeling from being given a second chance, asks the others why they think Ru was so generous. Carmen, the other recipient of this miraculous second chance, says it's because they're fierce, and the other girls should be worried. I'm shaking my head, and so is Shangela: "Can someone slap her and wake her up?" Seriously. Carmen is doing that Pretty Girl Rock right off a fucking cliff.
Read the full post here.
March 22, 2011
KISS KISS, PLUG PLUG
Charlie Sheen Flirts With Public, Plants A Kiss On Jimmy Kimmel
TELL US JIMMY, WHAT DOES A KISS FROM AN ADONIS WITH TIGER'S BLOOD TASTE LIKE?
The Charlie Sheen so-crazy-that-he'll-melt-your-face-off-just-by-looking-at-him-tour made a stop at Jimmy Kimmel's and planted a big, wet kiss on the talk-show host.
Read the full post here.
CONTEST OF TIME
Ain't Nothing But A Number: American Idol Tackles Ballads From Birth Years
LET'S TAKE THE WEEKLY TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH THE TOP 12 CONTESTANTS ON AMERICAN IDOL. This week's assignment: to perform a song released the year they were born. Get ready for Whitney Houston and power ballads!
The contestants also share baby pictures and interviews with their families. Can you say "precious"?
Read the full post here.
March 17, 2011
A ROAST
Marriage Is Like A Pig In A Poke: A Real Housewives Of Miami Recap
IT'S ALEXIA'S TURN TO HOST THE WEEKLY COOKING PARTY, AND SHE OPTS FOR A CUBAN PIG ROAST.
To prepare, she takes a trip to a slaughterhouse. She's surprised by the smell of the place, and immediately slathers on the hand sanitizer. The experience tugs at her heartstrings a least a little bit, because she said she would have trouble eating the pig she picked out. She feels bad for the swine.
Read the full post here.
March 16, 2011
BONUS RECAP
Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
IT'S HORRIFYING HOW IN LUUUUV SLADE AND GRETCH ARE IN. I'm so tired of hearing it. Oh, Gretchen just said she doesn't care if people are tired of hearing about their love. Shoot. So, we see some lovey dovey morning stuff with them, Slade shaves (ugh), then they try to convince us that Slade gets paid for his business "consulting" for Gretchen in pussy.
Read the full post here.
OF STARS & TRIPE
Three Cheers For The Red, White & Ru: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
DELTA IS GONE, AND I LOVE THE MEAN GIRLS REFERENCE: "Delta was so fetch."
Raja scolds Manila, "Heather, stop trying to make fetch happen." OMG, a Heathers reference, wrapped in a Mean Girls reference. I'm about to go into fag hag cardiac arrest.
Manila continues to pine over Delta's departure, and Alexis is giving her wicked side eye. She tells us that she thinks the Heathers are all fake, and then calls Manila out: "You sent her home!" Manila, who has apparently had an "awakening" on the stage during the lip sync challenge, retorts, “It was either me or her, girl.”
Read the full post here.
March 14, 2011
WANTS VS. NEEDS
What's Love Got To Do With It? A Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap
LET'S EXAMINE THE MARRIAGES OF THE THE REAL HOUSEWIVES FROM ORANGE COUNTY .
Despite showing up to last week's party looking like a wedding cake topper, Gretchen still doesn't know if she's ready to marry Slade, her boyfriend of a year and a half. Funny, seeing as last week it seemed Gretchen had wedding bells ringing in her head the majority of the episode. She also calls Slade her bitch in an interview. Oh, to be in love.
Read the full post here.
WINNERS TAKE
Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Art & Dada-ism
IT'S THE MORNING AFTER LEA'S CHARITY GALA, AND SHE'S GOT SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS. Specifically, collecting the $500 that Christy owes for crashing the event.
Adriana invites the ladies to a big lunch date, and then is an hour and forty-five minutes late. This gives Larsa permission to gossip about Adriana before she shows up.
Read the full post here.
March 09, 2011
TRAGIC COMEDY
Fat-On-Fat Crime: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
SIX DOLLS LEFT, AH-AH-AH.
Tonight's episode starts with fat girl on fat girl crime: Delta snipes about how Stacy "shouldn't have been here," and about how tough it's getting now that all the competition is so fierce. Well, then, DELTA, maybe Stacy saved your ass for a week, that's all I'm saying.
Everyone's doing penance for the shit they talked last week. Except instead of to a well-dressed, sparkly deity in the sky, it's to each other.
Read the full post here.
March 08, 2011
STIRRING UP SHIT
Whip It Good: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
MROWR! TONIGHT'S EPISODE IS EXTRA CATTY.
We start off with some dramatics from Raja about how "the more people leave, the happier I'll be. I can't handle all this yip-yap and chitter-chatter. I'm an old granny." No, Raja, you're an old QUEEN. Because GRANNIES call it "racket." But I'm splitting cheap wig hairs here.
Read the full post here.
March 01, 2011
DEJA VU
Graphic:IAMBRENTT.TUMBLR.COM
The Franchise Has A Familiar Face: Meet The Real Housewives of Miami
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES FRANCHISE FINALLY HIT MIAMI, opening with the typical charity gala every Real Housewife seems obligated to host. And, as with every Housewives series premiere, it's only a matter of minutes before the first catfight breaks out.
Read the full post here.
February 23, 2011
REPRESENTING
Alter Ego Tripping: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
"OK, I'M GONNA GO DO RUPAUL NOW," I TELL MY GUY. But this time, I don't get the signature raised eyebrow.
He's coming around.
Tonight, we hear about how disappointed Stacy is in herself. Again. And we hear about how she’s going to bring it. Again. But this time, she totally delivers!
Before I get to that, though, there's some hissing just outside the litter box. Turns out that Manila's winning "Asian correspondent" bit has Shangela in a snit.
Read the full post here.
February 22, 2011
OUTLOOK: CAMPY
The Forecast Calls For Gay: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
HOLY HELL, IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING EVER to make straight men watch this show. Especially if one of them is your lovesick brother, fresh off a bad break-up, and the other's your husband, fresh off a clumsily-executed Valentine's dinner where he nearly set the kitchen on fire and lightly toasted his eyebrows a nutty brown color. You might say I had a ball. If you were as witty as my girl RuPaul, that is.
Read the full post here.
February 15, 2011
PARTY ON
53rd Annual Grammys: Cracked And Then Some
IT'S AS IF THE ENTIRE GRAMMY COMMUNITY CONSPIRED TO PROVE THERE'S more playas in today's music than a manic fame monster in meat dress.
Read the full post here.
February 13, 2011
APPEALING
Countdown To Grammys: Justin Bieber
I WASN'T A TEENY BOPPER WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, BUT THIS KID MAKES ME, WELL, let's say it one more time...a "Belieber."
Fresh-faced, upbeat, positive, Justin Bieber is, like, a one-person salve for a corrupt world that steals kids' innocence even before they know what the word means.
Read the full post here.
HUNGERING
Countdown To Grammys: Eminem
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT EMINEM HAS MELLOWED, but the Detroit rapper who rose to fame giving voice to rape fantasies and maternal hatred has tempered his offstage rage. Yet his music is still fired by anger and emotional rawness even as he's become an elder statesman of rap who gives a standout performance every time he steps on stage.
Read the full post here.
DECLARING
Countdown To Grammys: Cee Lo Green's F**K You
YOU KNOW YOU GOT A KEEPER WHEN WHITEY WANTS TO CO-OPT YOUR SONG, and that's exactly what happened with Cee Lo Green's Fuck You was covered by the lily white Gwynnie Paltrow.
Read the full post here.
February 12, 2011
CLAMORING
Countdown To Grammys: Jay-Z's Empire State Of Mind
IT'S HARD TO DISPUTE JAY-Z's SELF-ANOINTMENT AS RAP GOD WHEN THE TITLE SINGLE FROM Empire State Of Mind has commanded 80.5 million YouTube hits.
Jay-Z's ballad about surviving New York City's badlands has become anthem for artists' Darwinian fight to the top.
Read the full post here.
SAVORING
Countdown To Grammys: Mumford & Sons
MY HEAD TOLD MY HEART: I gotta love earnest erudite English boys who perform rock folk with their own brand of fierceness.
The four lads who comprise Mumford & Sons are up for two Grammys this year -- for Best New Artist and for Best Rock Song for Little Lion Man.
Read the full post here.
ANTICIPATION
Countdown To Grammys: Florence + The Machine
STARFUCKING HAS NEVER APPEALED TO ME, BUT I ADMIT: I'VE ALWAYS HAD A STRONG STREAK OF GROUPIE.
I'm a bad pretender, the idea of acting tantamount to aspiring to lie.
But play me honest music -- loudly -- expressing love or hate or fear or anger or hope or faith and I'll reach orgasmic levels of pleasure.
As the world counts down to the 53rd Grammy Awards, I'm gonna work myself up to a frenzy listening to some of music to be celebrated on CBS Sunday night. Won't you join me?
Read the full post here.
HO UP, HO DOWN
Titties To The Mat: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BITCHES! Tonight, RuPaul asks the ladies to "get leotarded," and holy polyester, do they deliver.
The puns write themselves, so I don't have to. Which frees me up to thoroughly enjoy an assload of snark, punnery and blatant camp. Starting with the duct tape challenge.
Check out Trannies From Outer Space: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap.
Read the full post here.
February 08, 2011
BRACE YOURSELVES
Beavis & Butt-Head Return For More Buttfoolery
PYROMANIACAL MISANTHROPES BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD ARE HEADED BACK TO TV.
When I heard the news, I skipped over to YouTube for a refresher on the sneering losers. And the first comment I encountered was, "I can feel my IQ dropping while watching this, but I can't stop." Bingo!
Read the full post here.
February 03, 2011
KISS KISS, BANG BANG
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion: A Toast To Douchebaggery
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERILY HILLS REUNION BEGINS WITH A QUESTION Camille Grammer raises: Is Kyle Richards a bully?
Part one ended with the highly-anticipated Camille-Kyle showdown and left viewers waiting to see tonight's tear-filled conclusion.
Read the full post here.
February 02, 2011
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TRAN
Trannies From Outer Space: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
OH. MY. SPARKLY. STARS!
Tonight the ethereal Miss Lily Tomlin graces us with her presence. But before I go there, I have to boldly go…
to the work room, where Ru makes the gals pair up with the diva they think they're most psychologically insync with.
Read the full post here.
February 01, 2011
THEY SHOULDN'T
Real Housewives of Atlanta Finale: The Ring Doesn't Mean A Thing
THIS SEASON OF The Real Housewives of Atlanta was full of the usual catfights and musical endeavors, but Sunday's finale displayed the show's softer side as it captured the final moments before Cynthia's wedding.
Cynthia is planning her wedding at the Fernback Museum of Natural History with financial woes on her mind.
Read the full post here.
January 31, 2011
INSATIABLE
Velvet-Voiced Ted Williams 'Exploited' By Dr. Phil, Friend Says
GOLDEN-VOICED PANHANDLER TED WILLIAMS PROVOKED A LOT OF HANDWRINGING SINCE CHECKING OUT OF A DR. PHIL SPONSORED TRIP TO REHAB. BUT THE former radio announcer's slip from the TV shrink's exploitive grasp proves he's still got his wits about him.
Williams became a cause celebre after being discovered on the side of an Ohio highway doing voiceovers for money.
Read the full post here.
January 28, 2011
REVVING OUR ENGINES
The Suprise In A Box Of Crackerjacks: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
IT'S THE SEQUIN-STUDDED PREMIERE OF RuPaul's Drag Race and I am the HBIC, okaaaaay?
Let's start with role call: Manila, Carmen, Venus, Delta, Raja, India, Stacy, Mimi, Phoenix, Yara, Alexis and Mariah are some larger than life kinds of ladies. And I feel like, if I had been born a man (perish the THOUGHT), I'd be fully rocking my own spot on this show. I mean, pee standing up? Fuck that shit.
Read the full post here.
January 25, 2011
RELATABLE
Critics Of Skins Ignore The Show's Heart
AFTER ONE SHORT WEEK ON THE AIR, MTV's new drama series Skins is already causing drama off-screen. Fast food chain Subway joins General Motors, Taco Bell, H&R Block, Schick, and Wrigley as the fourth major sponsor to pull its advertising following child pornography allegations made by the Parents Television Council.
Read the full post here.
LEARNING TO LIVE WITH THE PAIN
Celebrity Rehab Finale: Don't Let The Door Hit You In The Ass
FINALLY: GRADUATION.
Everyone's decked out in their douchiest LA Rehab Chic: flimsy scarves, blazers, sandals and aviator shades. Sometimes I wonder if people who live in California have any idea how they look to the rest of us.
After a scant 21 days, the patients are apparently ready to venture back out into the world. Shelly practically lets the door hit 'em in the ass on their way out, then heaves a giant sigh of relief. I'm with you there, girl.
Read the full post here.
January 20, 2011
ARE YOU READY?
American Idol Debuts & 'Fuzzy' Tries To Fill Big Shoes
SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, SIMON COWELL'S SCOWLING.
Season 10 of American Idol kicked off Wednesday night with musicmakers Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler joining veteran judge Randy Jackson (Yo, dawg, what's up?) and the whole thing smacked of a party.
Lopez quickly filled the role left vacant by Paula Abdul as the loopy softie, while Tyler was the amusing antidote to the ascerbic Cowell.
Read the full post here.
STEALING HEADLINES
And The Winner Is....Ricky Gervais!
THERE WERE STARS BY THE DOZENS! Brangelina! Al Pacino! Matt Damon! Tom Hanks! Johnny Depp! Anne Hathaway! Scarlett Johansson! Sandra Bullock! Justin Bieber! Colin Firth! And yadda yadda yadda.
There were gorgeous gowns to ogle! But 36 hours after the 68th Annual Golden Globes, all anybody really wants to talk about is Ricky Gervais.
Read the full post here.
January 16, 2011
DESPICABLE HIM
Ricky Gervais Cuts Up With A Sharp Tongue At Golden Globes: A Transcript Of Opening
HE SAID HE WARNED THEM, AND BY FOUR MINUTES IN TO THE 68TH ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS, those in charge of booking Ricky Gervais as emcee were no doubt second-guessing their decision. The British comic wasted no time slicing and dicing Hollywood's biggest stars with an incisor-edged wit that deflated the self-congratulatory air from the room -- but also likely riveted viewers.
Check out And The Winner Is...Ricky Gervais!"
Hollywood Hair-Raising: Ricky Gervais Is Back Hosting Golden Globes
Read the full post here.
WINDING UP
Celebrity Rehab: Intention Is Everything
IT'S THE FAMEWHORING JUNKIES FROM from Pasadeeeeeennnaaaaa!
Sing along, people, cause next week is graduation! Although it looks like a lot of these cats are gonna drop the fuck out. Dr. Drew cautions us with a somber voiceover: "The days and weeks immediately following graduation are when patients are most likely to relapse." I'll see that, Drew, and raise you an "I''m pretty sure some of these A-holes already have, or are planning to before they leave here." Look at that, I've got a full house. Read 'em and weep, Doc.
Read the full post here.
January 14, 2011
STEWART FOR CONGRESS
Jon Stewart On Jared Loughner: What 'Fair & Balanced' Looks Like
THERE'S NO SENSE TO MAKE OF SATURDAY'S SLAUGHTER OF SIX PEOPLE OUTSIDE AN ARIZONA SAFEWAY except to say that sometimes crazy wins.
Last night, Jon Stewart delivered the most honest and thoughtful commentary on Jared L. Loughner's bloody rampage. Yes, our political discourse is venal and vile, yes it's corroding our national spirit, but Loughner's madness is not a consequence of our insidious politics.
Read the full post here.
January 11, 2011
A DISEASED CONCEPT
Celebrity Rehab: Arriving At Wit's End
EVERYONE'S AT THE BAR, WHICH IS HILARIOUS BECAUSE, UM, HI, WE'RE IN REHAB.
Bob explains that this is an exercise in resisting temptation, which this crew of D-listers fails almost immediately. Walking down Hollywood and Vine, Dr. Drew voiceovers about how "drugs can be found on literally every corner." Really, Drew? LITERALLY every corner?
Read the full post here.
January 06, 2011
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?
Celebrity Rehab Remix: Friends & Family
HERE'S THE THING: I WAS GETTING TRASHED with all my old friends last Wednesday. So I was too busy to listen to a bunch of nobodies talk shit about my buddy Jameson, okay?
This week, though, all the fruitcake has been eaten and what's left in front of me is the TV, so let me bring you up to speed.
Janice's breakdown was a non-issue. Just another symptom of the withdrawal. Meanwhile, Frankie came to terms with the fact that all her damn kids (and there are a lot of damn kids) are probably pissed at her for being on crack and/or giving them up to DCFS. So far, she's the only one who realizes that she's got more hard road ahead of her and is lacing up her shoes to walk it.
Read the full post here.
December 30, 2010
UNFAIR & BIASED
Study: Fox News Watchers Are Ignorant
THIS JUST IN: FOX NEWS WATCHERS ARE IGNORANT. Also, rain is wet.
A survey managed by the Program On International Policy Issues found that Fox News viewers were significantly more misinformed than consumers of other news sources, and that their level of ignorance increased as they watched more of the network.
Read the full post here.
December 18, 2010
GROUP
Celebrity Rehab Remix: I Know You Are But What Am I
IT'S AN OVERDOSE OF CELEBRITY REHAB! OH. WAIT. That's probably inappropriate.
What I mean is we were treated to back-to-back episodes tonight, which is good, since it took two hours for anything even slightly interesting to happen.
Read the full post here.
December 16, 2010
GET ME OUT OF HERE
Celebrity Rehab Remix: Bowling For Cameras
SO I'M IN REHAB. Celebrity Rehab, that is.
What's that you say? I'm not a celebrity? Yeah, well, neither are any of these strung-out junkies. Lemme break it down for ya:
There's Leif Garrett, Janice Dickinson, Jeremy London, Jason Davis, Rachel Uchitel, Frankie Lons, Eric Roberts and that kid from Laguna Beach, Jason Wahler. So I'd argue that I'm probably the biggest star in that solar system, bitches.
I'll admit I'm tardy to the party, having missed the first episode. But here are the bullet points.
- 1. Any place that looks like a resort with ashtrays is not going to work.
- 2. Yes, Jason Davis has some mean remarks about Janice's plastic surgery. But COME ON. She did that to her face.
- 3. Janice needs to drop that "world's first supermodel" shit, because, like, Twiggy beat her by like 10 years.
- 4. When and why did Dr. Drew start wearing the stethoscope?
- 5. Frankie, people know it's a fucking wig. A bad one. Because it's CROOKED for like 90% of the episode.
- 6. Jeremy, they might have kidnapped you but I doubt they put a gun to your head and made you do drugs. Especially since your wife, who was not kidnapped, does plenty of her own.
- 7. Someone MUST make a YouTube of all the things Rachel says where it's just too damn easy to snicker and snark.
Sex Perp Rachel Uchitel: 'I've Got A Hole In My Heart'
Read the full post here.
December 09, 2010
BOW TO THE MASTERS
Outfoxed Again! Taiwanese News Animators Get The Best Of Team Coco
EVEN WHEN THEY INSINUATE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE AND JOKE ABOUT locking you up in a cage, it's a compliment to be skewered by the Taiwanese news animators.
Conan O'Brien found that out when his team of -- count'em -- one animator tried to emulate the digital news summaries now ubiquitous on the web. And Team Coco's looked good so far as it went. But then the real Taiwanese animators kicked dirt in Conan's face for his apparent affront to their talents in a video response that hit smart and snarky in perfect pitch.
Take a look.
Read the full post here.
December 01, 2010
POOP ON THIS, NBC
Premature Exasperation? Conan Says He Won't Be Denied His Masturbating Bear
COCO IS TALKING TOUGH ABOUT HIS UPCOMING RETURN TO TV.
The late night comic ousted from The Tonight Show is making noise about taking his creative properties with him to his new gig at TBS.
Read the full post here.
October 27, 2010
FOR THE RECORD
Oprah's Scientology Connection Pays Off?
Talker Snags Lisa Marie Interview On Michael Jackson
OPRAH'S FRIENDSHIP WITH JOHN TRAVOLTA SEEMS TO BE PAYING OFF HANDSOMELY WITH THE talk show host bagging the first interview with Lisa Marie Presley about her marriage to dead pop idol Michael Jackson.
Travolta is a Scientologist and is credited with introducing Elvis Presley's widow Priscilla to the controversial "religion" that some call a cult. He is reportedly flying the plane that will take Oprah's audience from her 25th season opener to Australia, and Oprah has reportedly called him her "soulmate."
Read the full post here.
October 22, 2010
FAME
It's A Threesome! Glee's Stars Strip (Tease) For GQ
GLEE'S BREAKOUT STARS ARE RIDING THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF CELEBRITY. Michele Lea, Dianna Agron and Cory Monteith -- better known as Rachel, Quinn and Finn -- strip down and open up for GQ 's November cover story. Naturally, Rachel's on top.
Read the full post here.
October 20, 2010
DEEP
Keeping Things Real On Glee: Baby Kurt
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FLAMBOYANTLY GAY, GOD-HATING CHARACTER AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS BABY KURT HUMMEL, the television series Glee would be a total joke.
Week after week, the stereotypically queer teen played by Chris Colfer portrays the most intellectually honest and complicated character among the increasingly cartoonish cast.
Check out Holy Toast! Glee's Grilled Cheesus Delivers
Read the full post here.
October 13, 2010
Mad Men Recap: Picking Over The Dead
THE NIGHT'S EPISODE EXPLORED THE MANY COMPLICATED MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS going on under the SCDP roof. And the only one that brings any joy to this jaded Mad Fan is the one between Peggy and Abe.
After Abe's verbal assaults on the women's movement and the advertising industry, Peggy has appropriately shamed him and intrigued him, and now there's a little something something going on.
Read the full post here.
October 04, 2010
Kanye West Spills His Dark Twisted Fantasy On SNL
KANYE WEST SPILLED HIS DISTOPIAN VIEW ALL OVER THE Saturday Night Live STAGE LAST NIGHT, PERFORMING his hit Power from his upcoming fifth album set to hit the stores Nov. 23.
Kanye subbed out the song's original diss of SNL but the substituted lyrics are even darker than the original:
"When you prayin' for freedom 'cause your mind been in prison,The song was one of two that Ye performed, the second being his MTV VMAs debuted Runaway.
'Cause they tryin' to control every single big decision
You ain't effin' the system, then why the eff is you livin' "?
After last year's unpinning and the resulting public relations fiasco, there's nothing holding Kanye back now. He's his own schizoid superman in a world gone mad. He's got the power but he knows it's poison. He's got the gold and to hell with the hungry. There's no way out of this madness, or is there?
Kanye's wrestling with his place in the world as exalted exception to the rules. But don't look down, 'Ye, unless you want to lose your balance.
Check out the song's original lyrics on the jump.
Read the full post here.
October 03, 2010
PREQUEL TO A PARTY
Real Housewives Of DC Recap: Invitation To A Beheading
THIS EPISODE IS JUST AN AMUSE BOUCHE until next week's White House State dinner, so let's enjoy.
We finally get to see Lynda at work. She's casting models for a fashion show of Burkina Faso couture clothing. Sounds weird, right, since Burkina Faso is one of the poorest countries in Africa. As we watch pretty people shashay back and forth in a tight little space, she chats with the designer and her entourage. In the middle of her critique of a model we flash over to Michaele, who tells us that Lynda's just a bully.
Read the full post here.
October 01, 2010
BITTEN
Glee: Jumped The Shark?
I NEED TO GET ME SOME ANESTHESIA BECAUSE watching Tuesday's Glee was like being the only sober person in a room full of acid trippers.
The diagnosis for episode two of season two of the much-ballyhooed series: disassociation disorder -- and I'm not blaming it all on the driftless Britney Spears hallucinations.
True, the episode did let Heather Morris deliver some deadpan lines and show off her fabulous abs, her wicked dance moves.
Read the full post here.
September 29, 2010
BACKSTORY
Real Housewives Of D.C.: Trial By Facebook
I'VE BEEN VISITING THE D.C. DIVAS ON A HIT-OR-MISS BASIS, But let's catch up before Thursday's season finale.
What had Mary crying at the Salahi winery is an accusation that her daughter, Lolly, was involved in the theft of a car, some clothing and equipment from Tareq's polo association. It's all over Facebook (and if I belonged I'd check it out).
Read the full post here.
DESPERATE TIMES, MEASURES
Mad Men Recap: The Corrections
WHOA. THE THEME FOR TONIGHT'S LITTLE DITTY IS CLEARLY DESPERATION, and the stink of it is wafting off of nearly every single character, whether they know it or not.
It's a few weeks after Joan and Roger were mugged and had their hot sexy moment in the alley around the corner from the crime scene. Joan quietly informs Roger that she's "late," and after some hokey jokes, Roger gets serious. "Are you sure?" Joan shoots him that look she's so good at and informs him that there's no one else, and Greg has been gone for seven weeks so it's clearly not his.
Read the full post here.
September 27, 2010
THE 'A' TEAM
J. Lo, Steve Tyler Help American Idol Reinvent Appeal
THE REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER.
Now glam pop and hard rock rule.
American Idol fans got the word that glitzy homegirl Jennifer Lopez and raspy rocker Steven Tyler of Areosmith will join veteran Randy Jackson as judges. Yo, dawg! What'cha think of that?
The buzz is that Lopez, 41, will bag $12 million per season while Tyler, 62, will collect $18 million. (If that's true, can someone please explain the difference to me?) .
Read the full post here.
September 23, 2010
ABOUT FACE
Dave Letterman To Joaquin Phoenix: Pay Me $1 Million Dollars
JOAQUIN PHOENIX ADMITS THAT HE WAS "LOOKING FOR A BEATDOWN -- and I got one" -- when he sat on David Letterman's couch looking like a mainstreamed schizophrenic last year.
In his first visit to Dave since he appeared last year looking disheviled and doped up on thorazine, Phoenix apologized and admitted his visit was a "theatrical ruse."
The visit to Dave is a pivotal scene in Joaquin's recently released and oft-panned movie, I'm Still Here.
Read the full post here.
GLEE O.D.
Here's A Slushie In The Face For Glee's Overwrought Return: A Recap
WHILE THE WORLD CROWS ABOUT THE SNACKALICIOUS TASTINESS of last night's season debut of Glee, I myself am feeling… crabby.
Returning from its acclaimed first season, last night's show delivered a hefty dose of overwrought, and I kept thinking that a slushie tossed in the face would be just the thing to cool things down.
As we begin the new season, relentless ball buster Sue Sylvester isn't happy when she learns that the arrival of a new football coach necessitates a budget cut for the Cheerios.
Read the full post here.
September 22, 2010
DRINK UP
Kanye West's Masterful Mea Culpa
SOMETIMES A**HOLES CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES.
That's the gist of Kanye West's Runaway performance at MTV's VMAs Sunday night. And yes, I'm using runaway as a double entendre.
Read the full post here.
September 14, 2010
FACE FORWARD
Winning Big At The VMAs: Lady Gaga's New Nose
IDIDN'T MAKE IT TO MTV's PARTY LAST NIGHT, so I've been catching up on the web. And I've gotta say that the most striking thing about MTV's pulsating Video Music Awards -- other than Kanye's dope drubbing of his own cad tactics -- was Lady Gaga's...nose.
Even with all her over-the-top outfits -- the drape of flesh being hands and feet and stomach down the most outrageous -- what was most evident was Gah's newly refined proboscis. The Romanesque bump was conspicuously absent last night, the base was thinner.
Check out Guarantee To Sexually Stimulate: Lady Gaga At The VMAs.
In The Raw: Lady Gaga On Vogue Hommes Japan.
Read the full post here.
September 13, 2010
IMBALANCE OF POWER
Mad Men Recap: Freedom's Just Another Word
AFTER HIS LOST WEEKEND, IT LOOKS LIKE DON'S trying to turn things around.
He's been writing "like a girl" in a diary, swimming regularly and seeing Bethany on a somewhat routine basis. And even though there are growing pains with Betty and Henry, things begin to work themselves out by the end of tonight's episode.
Since last week's brouhaha with Peggy, Don's been giving her more responsibility. And that's a good thing because the juvenile a**wipes in the creative department are really making her (and particularly Joan) very uncomfortable.
Read the full post here.
SYNERGIZING
NJ Housewife Kim G Challenges Jersey Shore's Snooki To A Pickle Bobbin' Contest
VILLAIN RUNNER-UP KIM GRANATELL ISN'T WASTING A MINUTE grabbin' for rank in NJ's Housewives now that Danielle Staub is out.
Coining the nickname "The Instigation," Ms. G's now throwing down the gauntlet to Jersey Shore playas Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.
Check out With Danielle Out At NJ Housewives, Kim G Emerges As Villain To Watch.
Read the full post here.
September 10, 2010
THE FIX
Guaranteed To Sexually Stimulate: Lady Gaga At The VMAs
MTV's VMAs are fast approaching and inquiring minds want to know: what taboo will Lady Gaga tackle this time? What line will she cross to sexually arouse her audience? The world's most compelling pop star has been nominated for a record-breaking 13 awards, the most ever for an artist in a single year.
There's no topic off limits, no subject too sacred for the Lady Gah to flaunt. It's the force propelling her skyward in her rocket ride to fame.
Read the full post here.
FRENEMIES
With Danielle Out At NJ Housewives, Kim G Emerges As Villain To Watch
WHILE THERE'S NO OFFICIAL WORD ON A third season for the New Jersey Housewives, there is official word that Danielle won't be there.
I know she's spoken of "incredible opportunities" out there waiting for her. And she’s also talked spinoff before, but I can't believe she could carry an entire show on her own. Or that any network, especially Bravo, would think it. Or that anyone would watch it.
Check out Must See TV: Kim G. & Snooki In A Pickle Bobbin' Contest.
Read the full post here.
September 08, 2010
A REAL EYE-ROLLING COASTER RIDE
Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion 2: Wish You Were Dead
SO MUCH HAPPENED DURING LAST WEEK'S REUNION THAT I NEGLECTED TO MENTION that the Manzo/Guidice ladies are looking really good.
Danielle, well. I don't like her but she looks OK. Her copper skirt looks cheap though.
Andy starts off telling Danielle he thinks she went into the Brownstone looking for a fight. Damn right, she did. How very perceptive, Andy. The way she's really looking is like she constantly smells something bad.
Read the full post here.
GONE BABY GONE
Kara DioGuardi's Officially Out At American Idol
AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST: Kara DioGuardi's officially out.
After two years as a judge on Fox's hit American Idol, songwriter Kara DioGuardi has announced her departure from the show.
“I felt like I won the lottery when I joined American Idol two years ago, but I feel like now is the best time to leave," DioGuardi said in a statement.
Read the full post here.
September 07, 2010
STEALING STATUS
Real Housewives Of D.C. Recap: Bollocks!
IN OUR LATEST VISIT WITH THE D.C. MAVENS, WE GET TO MEET LYNDA up close and personal as she's making breakfast for boyfriend Ebong and her three teenaged children. She's moving the gang from a luxurious but cramped Georgetown apartment with concierge and maid service to a somewhere with a yard.
Stacie gets together with her sorors to chat and the subject turns to her adoption. She shocks the group with the news that her mom is Caucasian.
Read the full post here.
DEAD EYES
Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion: The Kids Aren't Alright
I'VE ONLY GLANCED AT THE JERSEY HOUSEWIVES this season. I even blew off the Danielle-Caroline showdown last week. I thought it'd pretty much go like this:
Caroline: Stay away from my family! You're garbage... the kind of garbage that needs to be put into a garbage can and then hauled away in a dump truck and shipped to Manila.
Danielle: How DARE you judge me!
Then I saw the commercials for the reunion show with Teresa shoving Andy back into his chair and yelling into Danielle's face and well, who could resist? So, here goes:
Read the full post here.
August 31, 2010
IT'S IN THE BAG
Mad Men & Women Rack Up Assorted Trophys
SERIOUSLY, IT MUST BE SAID: Christina Hendricks is clearly looking to score with those enormous knockers of hers. They're on display like a trophy, and I bet those Honda execs would agree with me.
And while they're no Clios, the cast and writers of Mad Men managed to nab a couple Emmys Sunday night:
Read the full post here.
LIBERATION THEOLOGY
Mad Men Recap: The Lost Weekend
WITH ALL ITS BOOZING AND TIME TRAVEL, LAST NIGHT'S "Waldorf Stories" gave me vertigo.
Everything kicks off with Don and Peggy looking at Jane's cousin's portfolio, and man, it's a stinker. Every headline is "BRAND NAME, the cure for the common PRODUCT." The book features different products, but the same headline a hundred times.
Read the full post here.
August 30, 2010
WINNER
In Spirit Of Sue Sylvester, Jane Lynch Wins Emmy Trophy
SUE SYLVESTER MIGHT HAVE HAD TO BULLY HER WAY INTO THE 2010 Emmy opening, but her alter ego Jane Lynch was one of the belles at the ball.
Chicago native Lynch won Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy for her portrayal of the ruthless cheerleading coach on Glee whose modus operandi is win at any cost.
Even though this was her first Emmy win, Lynch confidently took the stage and exclaimed, "Thank you so much. This is outlaaaaandish!" with South Side snap.
Read the full post here.
BEST JOKE
Ricky Gervais Gets Biggest Laugh At 2010 Emmy Awards
THE 2010 PRIMETIME EMMYS OPENED WITH A BANG but quickly fell into a drone of dull. Thank god for Ricky Gervais who snapped the audience to attention with his zinger at Mel Gibson's expense. Here's the bulk of his words with clip:
Read the full post here.
BORN TO GLEEK
It's On, Bitches! A 'Gleeful' Opening To The 2010 Primetime Emmys
FOR A LITTLE WHILE DURING THE BROADCAST OF THE 2010 PRIMETIME EMMYS, host Jimmy Fallon showed just who was boss.
The annual tribute to the small screen's best performances opened with a Glee inspired song-and-dance that capitalized on the night's biggest names and most nominated shows while allowing TV's pariah Kate Gosselin to poke fun at herself.
Read the full post here.
PLAYING 'CAT' & MOUSE
Real Housewives Of D.C. Recap: Be Careful What You Wish For
IN HER PICTURE PERFECT HOUSE, CAT'S WORKING WITH HER BOOK EDITOR ON HER BIOGRAPHY.
She's dressed casually but wearing a necklace that looks like it weighs a ton and costs a fortune, all heavy and sparkly and pink. It's quite beautiful, as is Cat.
Stacie and husband Jason are visiting friends who own a winery. She's quite the name dropper/social climber, telling us that their friends' wine was served at a White House dinner. Everyone's in jeans until the Salahis arrive by limo all glammed out. They bring a bottle from their (his family's) winery and can't wait to taste the host's wine. Tareq's all wine knowledge blah blah blah, as Stacie and Jason stare and nod.
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August 23, 2010
BATTLES WITHIN
Mad Men Recap: Fallout From Bombs
LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT I LOVE MRS. BLANKENSHIP, Don's tough old broad of a secretary.
She sits around doing crosswords and fucking things up (only half by accident, I'd bet) and tells it like it is. And that last part is a real necessity in Don's case, because he's pretty much checked out of every part of his life except his job.
Most tellingly, while Don is schmoozing random women in suites and on the streets, his little girl lost, Sally, is crying for help. As the sitter chills with Bobby on the couch, Sally sneaks off to the bathroom and cuts off her hair, prompting Don to fire the sitter/piece of ass immediately. It's unfortunate because the sitter had to not only try to fix Sally's hair but explain/avoid her sex questions too: "Are you doing it with my daddy? I know what it is. The man pees in the woman; I heard all about it at school."
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'REAL' NEWS BITES
Danielle Staub Fired? We'll Believe It When We See It
FIRED! I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
Life & Style reports that New Jersey Housewife and perpetual victim Danielle Staub will not be returning for the show's third season.
When asked about it, Staub said, "I don't know if there are talks right now about a third season of the show, but I'm more excited about talks of my spin-off than anything else.
Spin-off, my ass.
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August 18, 2010
REPRESENTIN'
Real Housewives of D.C.: Vanilla In Chocolate City
FUNKMASTER GEORGE CLINTON ONCE DESCRIBED Washington, D.C. as the Chocolate City with vanilla suburbs. So in bringing us its latest entry from the Real Housewives franchise, Bravo has managed to pluck one housewife from the city and all the others from 'burbs.
The horsey (What? She's married to a polo player. What did you think I meant?), party-busting Michaele Salahi managed to make it on the show. A former makeup artist, she's either raised her station in life or is living on borrowed time. She has the manic eagerness of a new puppy or a successful social climber.
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August 16, 2010
WOUNDS FOR RENT
Mad Men Recap: The Vagina Chronicles
WE ARE OFFICIALLY INTO THE SWINGING 60s because tonight's episode, "The Rejection," begins with a warning about "brief nudity." And I'm all like, "Yes! Dreamy Don goes full frontal!"
Unfortunately, that's not exactly how it goes down, but more on that later. Right now, Lee Garner Jr. at Lucky Strike's on the phone because he's figured out that SCDP is billing him for work the agency does for its other accounts. The conference call goes on. And on. And on. Don goes for a bottle of Canadian Club but to his dismay it's empty. He gestures toward the put-upon Allison, "Why is this empty?" She snaps, "Because you drank it." HA!
To get off this insane conference call, Don goes, "Oh my God, there's a fire." Without skipping a beat, Roger picks it up: "Right by Radio City. We better go, sorry Lee." NICE.
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UNEXPECTED NEWS
Mad Men Recap: Men With Checkbooks
IT'S THE DAYS LEADING UP TO New Year's Eve 1964, and the first thing we hear this episode is the metallic thwack of cold, clinical stirrups.
Joan is at her OBGYN, trying to plan a pregnancy, since she's still giving it her all with Date Rapey Dr. Greg. The doctor, "Wally" as she calls him, confirms that all's well with her lady parts and to "go for it." It's then that Joan reveals that she's had two "procedures," by which we all know what she means. And while the doctor is aware of the "procedure" he performed, he was unaware of the first one, performed by a midwife. It's surprising to hear that answer-for-everything Joan has had two abortions.
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August 09, 2010
SOMETHING TO SING ABOUT
Gobsmacked! Glee Collaborates With Brits Susan Boyle, Paul McCartney
SQUARE THAT I AM, I'M TOTALLY GEEKED THAT THE HIT TV SHOW GLEE will feature Susan Boyle as a lunch lady in a Christmas-themed show.
No doubt, the mouse that roared will star as some dowdy cafeteria marm who dreams a dream that Santa delivers. (And that clip still gives me goosebumps.)
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August 03, 2010
PICKING UP THE PIECES
Love Is A Many Splintered Thing: Mad Men Returns
YOU GUYS, I am dying to know what happens on Mad Men this Sunday on the debut of the fourth season.
Damn near a YEAR ago, when we left Dashing Don and crew, they’d split Sterling Cooper to start their own agency in a hotel room. And this is really efficient, since we all know that's where these lusty folks would spend most of their respective workdays anyway.
And if that weren't enough to make you sit on the edge of your seat for eleven interminable months, there's the fact that Betty finally found the ovaries to leave Don.
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July 22, 2010
SHUT UP!
Where Will The Fallen Redeem Themselves? Larry King To Retire
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IS IT TRUE? Is Larry King finally hanging up his suspenders and calling it a night?
Actually, I use the word "night" loosely here. With a guy his age, it's more like 4 p.m. But I digress.
Those are some mighty big shoulder pads to fill. Without him, who will ask the hard questions, like, "What's your favorite color?" Who will welcome the D-listers with such open arms as he has?
June 30, 2010
INSUFFERABLE SUFFERING
The Meaning Of Systemic Bullying: Real Housewives Of New York Redeux
HOUSEWIVES PART DEUX IS A WHOLE LOTTA APOLOGIZING BY JILL, grudge-nursing by Bethenny and the Kellybot proving she's definitely in a world of her own.
Kelly was right about one thing: this season was crazy and embarrassing. The women continue to berate Jill for her behavior. Jill says she was clueless about how her actions would offend fans and create blowback for her. She gets teary as Bethenny recounts her trials of the year, knowing that she couldn't take the Jill stress.
But Jill says she builds her friends up, that she always tries to be supportive and has no reason to be jealous. Ramona then spills the beans: Jill had called her and asked her not to support Bethenny in her new show. Jill's appalled before copping to doing just that. Bethenny admits she didn't want to shoot with Kelly, that she pretty much hates her and wishes her dead. Well, not the last part -- not out loud anyway.
Picking At Old Wounds: Real Housewives Of New York Reunion
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June 16, 2010
APPLY SALT & PEPPER
Picking At Old Wounds: The Real Housewives of New York Reunion
SINCE THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SO ANTAGONISTIC AND HOSTILE, Bravo has decided to drag out the reunion into three-parts. Ay yiyi.
Host and creator Andy Cohen bravely faces the lionesses' den three times 'cause it's all money in the bank for him. He welcomes the Housewives, who are broken into teams: Alex, Ramona and Bethenny on one couch and Jill, Kelly and LuAnn on the other. Part one begins with snippets of everyone’s trials and tribulations during the show. I guess Sonja will join us later.
Cohen begins with Alex's delivering her screeched message to Jill that she's "a mean girl and in high school."
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June 14, 2010
TOLD YA SO
Danielle Staub's Home Porn: I've Seen It
SO WHO'S THE MYSTERY MAN ON DANIELLE STAUB'S HOMEGROWN VIDEO?
Steve Zalewski, the ex beau of New Jersey's most reviled housewife, denies that he's the man on the homemade movie due out June 14th. Steve says the home porn he shot shows Danielle servicing him orally. He threatened to release the tape last year but Danielle got a temporary injunction from the court.
I reported last month seeing the tape depicting Danielle's pierced muff riding her mystery partner in a variety of positions. And though the voice surely sounded like Steve's to me, I'll admit that when somebody's throwing pussy at you and you're in the throes of lust, our growls and moans can sound alike.
Read the full post here.
June 08, 2010
WINNING CONVERTS
Why Tom Cruise Is Counting On Les Grossman: Can A Faux Jewish Buffoon Save This Scientologist's Name?
TOM CRUISE PROBABLY RECRUITED A COUPLE HUNDRED NEW CONVERTS TO SCIENTOLOGY WITH HIS spankin' dance party with J.Lo at last night's MTV Movie Awards.
America has a complicated relationship with Tom, who dominated at the box office for two decades with hits like Top Gun, Risky Business, Rain Man and Jerry MacGuire. But that relationship soured after his carefully crafted public image began to crack.
He dissed Brooke Shields for using anti-depressants to treat postpartum depression, then dissed Matt Lauer as being "glib" when he questioned his comments. The country then delivered a counterpunch, morphing Tom's declaration of love for Katie Holmes on Oprah's couch into a favorite Internet meme.
On top of all this, Cruise's role as figurehead for the spooky Church of Scientology is a perpetual public relations mine field.
Read the full post here.
June 07, 2010
ENOUGH
Tuning Out Jersey Housewives' "Pageantry Of Degradation"
FLIPPING AROUND THE CHANNELS ONE NIGHT I SEE I see Jersey Housewife Danielle Staub on the Sean Hannity show. WTF is she doing on there?
She’s on his "Great American Panel," sitting between Dan Henninger of the Wall Street Journal and Juan Williams of NPR???!!!. I'm not a regular viewer but it seems Sean invites the occasional oddball guest between two actual pundits. But Danielle Staub? Good gracious. When she wasn't sitting like a bump on a log she was bobbing her head back and forth as if at a tennis match while listening to the others' opine on Joe Sestak and Sarah Palin.
When prodded she gave fairly competent answers. But she looked like a cigar store Indian.
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WHAT'S PAST IS PROLOGUE
Love Conquers All: The Real Housewives of New York Finale
MY SWEET, SEXY SONJA HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH FUN IN THE HAMPTONS and got arrested for DWI; Bethenny's out of here; and LuAnn's been dissected. But that's all still in the future. Let's go back to Thursday night.
Three momentous occasions occur in this season finale -- Ramona's vow renewal, LuAnn's singing debut and the lunch meeting between Jill and Bethenny.
Ramona and her wedding planner scope out the venue, New York's delicious Pierre Hotel. She'll make a grand entrance down a crystal twin staircase and they'll be married in the rotunda below. It's glitz personified and she's beside herself with excitement.
Lunch at Le Cirque with Bethenny and Jill. Basically Jill’s all 'forgive me' and Bethenny is all 'no way, sister.' It's over for Bethenny and this is just that thing called closure.
Jill equates their relationship to a marriage and Bethenny points out that divorce gets ugly. Then, the ambush: 'my feelings, how bad I feel.' She begins to weep with the loss, saying Bethenny shouldn't cut her off like this. Oh no, she didn't just say that. So to try to seal the deal she offers homemade potato pancakes. Huh?
Bethenny begins to read her and she constantly interrupts the message. Bethenny pretty much says you've pissed off a lot of people. Are they all wrong and you're the only one right? Then Jill begins to rag about Alex, Bethenny's new BFF. She rolls her eyes and says she'll see her at the wedding, ignoring Jill's plea to lunch again.
The time has arrived. Since her book went nowhere, the Countess has decided that the stage will be her new home. She's gathered the girls for her debut at a small New York club. Her blond mohawked producer arrives in a Hummer with bouncy babes in tow. We'll also meet the new French boyfriend, Jacques. LuAnn gets all glowy and girly when talking about him. And there he is, young, cute, tanned with an accent. Ooooo lala. The girls all gush over him and in a moment of joy LuAnn grabs his face and plants one on him. OOOOOOOOOO, she likey.
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June 05, 2010
PARADISE LOST
New York Housewives: Escape From 'Poison Island'
AFTER KELLY'S FREAKOUT SHE HAS THE GOOD GRACE to leave and breakfast is a peaceful affair.
Everyone feels terrible for Kelly but at the same time they're all glad to see her gone. They agree she's in her own little world and hope she gets help cause they ain't about it. So cheers to the rest of the last day! Let's get our swimming, yoga and mannie/peddies on!
Then, trouble lands. Jill shows up with Bobby. LuAnn told her not to come. But she came anyway and the house goes absolutely quiet when she yells Helloooooooo. "Ack, like a horn," Bethenny laments. Jill and Bobby explain that they detoured on their way to St. Bart's and thought everyone would be glad to see them. After all, she was one of the first people Ramona invited. Said it wouldn't be the same without her. Everyone's traumatized now and Jill grates.
Jill tries to make herself feel welcome but the ladies aren't having it. She says she saw Kelly at the airport. Ramona babbles, Sonja smiles cautiously, Bethenny frowns behind her sunglasses and Alex just malevolently stares at her. Poor Bobby. Jill tells us it was if someone had died. It truly is. You can feel the tension through the screen. She keeps repeating "I thought you'd be happy to see me." She marvels at the magnificence of the house. Alex says Jill's so fucking self-absorbed she doesn't see the elephant in the room. But she does.
Read On A Clear Day You Can See Through Crazy.
Read Ship Wrecked: A New York Housewives Recap.
Read Mean Girls: A New York Housewives Recap.
Read the full post here.
June 01, 2010
DOWN TO THE WIRE
Will Crystal Score On Lee's Fumble? American Idol's Final Showdown
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES.
The buzz had Lee DeWyze winning this thing after his compelling performances of the last month. But the hippie mom got the best of the paint store clerk on the eve of American Idol's coronation.
Nerves rattled Lee, and the fire in Crystal's belly roared, making the final showdown less of a nailbiter than America expected. But that didn't stop the night from becoming "a bit of a lovefest,'' as Simon called it.
Each finalist sang three songs: one of their own choice, one chosen by the show's executive producer Simon Fuller, and the song that they'll release as a single if they win the title.
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May 26, 2010
FLIP A COIN
Wishful Thinking: Fans of Lee DeWyze & Crystal Bowersox Predict Wins For Their Favorite
WITH ONLY 24 HOURS TO GO BEFORE THE WINNER OF American Idol is crowned, fans of both finalists can find reason to crow.
Chicago's homeboy (well, Mount Prospect, Ill. is close enough) has already been declared the winner by a Psychology Today blogger, who ticks off a litany of reasons why Lee DeWyze's crowning is inevitable.
Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D., a New York-based cognitive psychologist, says Lee has both the "the talent factor and the relatability factor" that make him appealing.
Combine these traits with his growing charisma and confidence on stage, his humility, and his genuine likeability and he becomes someone the public wants to rally around, contends Kaufman.
Read the full post here.
May 25, 2010
THIS IS NOT 1979
On A Clear Day You Can See Through Crazy: A New York Housewives Recap
IT BEGINS AT DINNER BUT LASTS UNTIL BREAKFAST AFTER Bethenny tells Kelly to "stop the fucking bullshit."
The ladies are yachting off to a gorgeous cliff-side mansion. Everyone seems to be getting along and there's enough space to avoid encroaching on personal boundaries. Maybe that'll cool the animus for a hot minute.
The place makes me gasp -- it's 11,000 square feet of stone and wood luxury -- arches, tile, flowers, with beautiful views and a private beach.
Bethenny drops off monogrammed beachy bags for all the ladies as a nice gesture. Kelly immediately takes offense! Because the bag is filled with Bethenny products! She's already losing it. She says she doesn't understand that girl and begins crying! Am I missing something here? She reaches out to -- of all people of course -- Jill.
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May 24, 2010
PLAYA
Will Work For Face Time: Perez Hilton Begs For Simon Cowell's Job
SEMEN WHISPERER PEREZ HILTON is getting desperate.
With his name being bandied about as a possible replacement for Simon Cowell, and with Simon himself blowing back props to him, the queen of mean says he'd replace the exiting judge for free.
"I've shamelessly been campaigning for the job," Perez tells MTV news. "And I am adamant and I believe I would do a great job. Plus -- I'm not even joking, I would work for free the first season. After that, then we can talk about a fair paycheck."
Perez won't need the jack if he sells his heavily trafficked internet real estate. He's been offered $20 million for Hollywood's most despised blog.
A collective gurgle went up over at MTV.com at the idea of Perez replacing Simon.
Read Who Will Replace Simon: Speculation Runs From Ridiculous To Ingenious
Read Lee & Crystal Worthy Opponents In Idol Final.
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May 22, 2010
TWO
Lee & Crystal Worthy Opponents In Idol's Final Showdown
WITH 47 MILLION VOTES CAST, America kicks Casey James off the stage.
Casey's flowing hair and chiseled looks couldn't pull him through to the finals. We say goodbye to the eye candy of the season. Now it's time for the real stars to shine.
Lee De