WAGS REPORT THAT MADONNA'S BABY DADDY Carlos Leon is now dating the crazy former crazy (but not formerly crazy) Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon.
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THERE IS A GOD!
Suicide, bankruptcies, fake kidnappings and now, DISMISSALS! Never a dull day in HousewivesLand.
HuffPo reports that Jill Zarin, Alex McCord and Kelly Bensimon have all been fired from The Real Housewives of New York.
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I ADMIT I'VE BEEN HARD ON KELLY KILLORAN BENSIMON.
At first it was because she was such a bitch to Bethenny. So uncalled for.
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AWWWWW, hells no, this second reunion is also an hour and a half??!! Bravo, you need to take your Prozac -- this is getting repetitive.
But let's relive last week's highlights clips. Jill has sat back down after decrying the children talk. LuAnn gets right into Ramona for dissing her parenting skills. Ramona tells her to own it. Ha.
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LOOKING pretty, perfumed and ready for anything, our Housewives are aligned on their separate couches of crazy.
The brunettes, Kelly, LuAnn, Cindy, and Jill (redhead) to Andy's right; the blondes, Ramona, Sonja and Alex to his left. Time to watch the jibber jabber fly.
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SO I FOUND OUT THE BRAVO SUMMER CAMP SONG IS BY BRITNEY SPEARS. Still hate it. Let’s move on.
This long, long season is finally at an end. And, of course, it ends with another party.
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WE'RE WALTZING INTO A MEETING WITH LUANN AND HER MUSIC PRODUCER, CHRIS.
She's brought along her assistant, Michael. I admire you Michael. I admire anyone who can assist these neurotics.
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I'VE NEVER READ THE BLOGS OF THE HOUSEWIVES BUT CURIOSITY FINALLY GOT THE BEST OF ME.
I was so confused about the tiff between Simon and Jill that I decided to read Simon's blog entry for the latest episode. It was everything I expected -- gossipy and to the point. He's totally the seventh Housewife.
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SINCE THE PARTY NEVER STOPS IN THE BIG APPLE, Sonja decides to throw a burlesque jam. Hope she does it up right or Jill will have a field day.
She goes costume shopping with Ramona and her daughter, Avery. Sonja asks Avery if she wants to come to the party. Avery looks like she asked her to strip right here and now. She pretty much says, 'With all you old people in nipple baring bustiers? No thank you.' She thinks these clothes are only fit for Halloween. I love that.
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PARTAY, PARTAY, PARTAY! There ain't no party like a Housewife party cause a Housewife party don't stop. But let's skip over Ramona and LuAnn's sweet 16 parties for their teen daughters. What happened?
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LET'S BE HONEST: IF ANY OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK had a good head on their shoulders, they would not be a "Real Housewife of New York."
When faced with trying times, these women solve their problems in more unconventional, train-wreck sort of ways. Like throwing a burlesque party in hopes of ridding yourself of looming bankruptcy.
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THIS WEEK ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK, the ladies show their love for each other and their vajajays by treating themselves to "vajazzling," the twat-bejeweling trend. Apparently it makes them feel pretty.
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OH WOW, RAMONA'S PLANNING AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH HER HUSBAND MARIO AT A DOWNTOWN HOTEL. We watch as she lights candles, strews rose petals and sets the mood.
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WE LAST LEFT RAMONA SOBBING ON A BED LIKE A 40s FILM STAR.
The only thing she didn't do was throw an arm across her forehead. We pick up with Jill angrily babbling to Kelly and the Countess about Ramona's terrible behavior upstairs, how horrible she's been and how Jill will never let it happen again. The Countess, good capo that she is, agrees and says that she'll see to it, all but kissing one of Jill's rings.
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WE PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF -- WITH RAMONA LEARNING ANOTHER WOMAN IS THINKING OF HER HUSBAND.
Sonja pipes up in the background: "It's not me!" Ramona volunteers that it could be her daughter. Ha, yeah right. The psychic pretty much said Ramona's crazy nervous energy is driving her husband bonkers. And that I can believe. She drives me crazy and I don't even know her.
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WE'RE OFF TO MOROCCO ON A PRIVATE JET WITH CINDY, JILL, KELLY AND THE COUNTESS.
LuAnn is trying to teach them how to pronounce "daaaaaarling" in Arabic. She's very excited and can't wait to show the girls the sights.
After the cheap Koala bear gift, the low-rent party in Quogue, the cheese and cracker Masquerade ball, the drunken, threatening text messages, the irritating lunches (or no lunch, shout out to you Sonja), with Ramona constantly with Pinot in hand and now -- with Sonja, Alex and Ramona traveling on a different flight -- it's shaping up to be the blondes versus the brunettes/redhead. Whew. Let's get ready to RUUUMBLE in an exotic land.
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WE OPEN THIS WEEK WITH THE MELLIFLUOUS SOUND OF LUANNA SPEAKING FRENCH.
I mean, it's better than hearing her sing. She's showing off at lunch with Sonja. She wants to chat about the tension between the ladies. Not that she's had a hand in it. They should call her Countess Instigator. So, instead of letting the ladies maintain a bit of distance, just for a short time, she thinks a trip to Morocco with will bring the peace. She's been there many times with Count Fuckedherover and calls it magical.
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GOSH, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE IN NEW YORK, you can see them walking on the streets in the credits. So many more interesting people, why are we dwelling on these chicks?
Well, since we're stuck with them let's watch Ramona pose in different outfits while a photographer shoots her for the face of her brand. It's hilarious as are all Ramona's modeling endeavors. In one photo she looks like she's stricken with palsy. Fun-ny.
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THE COMPLAINT FEST TODAY IS LUNCH WITH LUANN, SONJA AND KELLY.
I see now how these ladies keep their lovely figures while attending all these lunches, dinners, barbecues and birthday parties. They chat and drink much more than we ever see them eat. And if you drink without eating you do tend to get a bit rowdy. But you stay skinny. That's one of my theories on Bethenny. Maybe if girlfriend ate a cheeseburger now and then with her Skinnygirl Margaritas she wouldn't cry and complain so much.
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WHEN WE LAST LEFT THE LADIES, KELLY had walked off the set. And didn't she look great in that white one-shoulder little flowy dress?
LuAnn covers her mouth and giggles a bit as Bethenny continues to shout that Kelly has emotional and psychological problems and that talking to her is like talking to Humpty Dumpty. Sonja says she was a downer and that after she left they had a great time. Tell it like it is, Son.
Ramona says that she, at least,went out of her way to be nice to Kelly, especially after Kelly'd phoned before the trip to ask if she was going to get beat up on. We learn she didn't just leave but got escorted to the plane by producers. Then Kelly quietly returns with an attitude.
The Meaning Of Systemic Bullying: The Real Housewives Of New York Redeux
Picking At Old Wounds: The Real Housewives Of New York Reunion
Read the full post here.
WHEN WE LAST LEFT THE LADIES, KELLY had walked off the set. And didn't she look great in that white one-shoulder little flowy dress?
LuAnn covers her mouth and giggles a bit as Bethenny continues to shout that Kelly has emotional and psychological problems and that talking to her is like talking to Humpty Dumpty. Sonja says she was a downer and that after she left they had a great time. Tell it like it is, Son.
Ramona says that she, at least,went out of her way to be nice to Kelly, especially after Kelly'd phoned before the trip to ask if she was going to get beat up on. We learn she didn't just leave but got escorted to the plane by producers. Then Kelly quietly returns with an attitude.
The Meaning Of Systemic Bullying: The Real Housewives Of New York Redeux
Picking At Old Wounds: The Real Housewives Of New York Reunion
Read the full post here.
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