Glittter Bomb Adds Desperately Needed Sparkle To Mitt Romney Campaign

September 25, 2011

A DEVELOPING ISSUE

Policing The Police With Video Cameras

By Elizabeth C.

By Elizabeth C.

Credit: NewYork Observer LIGHTNING ROD JULIAN ASSANGE CALLS FACEBOOK A ''SPY MACHINE'' AND PEOPLE QUIVER AS THOUGH HE'S SAYING SOMETHING RADICAL. But any savvy citizen knows he speaks the obvious.

A database containing identifying information on an estimated 600,000 people is on its face a spy's ideal tool -- so much so that the Onion News Network spoofed the social network's relationship with the CIA. (Video embedded below.)

Read the full post here.

May 03, 2011

$1,200,000,000,000 MANHUNT

Ding Dong, Osama's Dead

By Elizabeth C.

DING DONG, OSAMA'S DEAD, THE WICKED MAN, THE WICKED MAN IS DEAD!

Wake up! Sleepy heads, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, The Wicked Man is dead! He's gone where the goblins go, below -- below -- below. Yo-ho, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know The Wicked Man is dead!

Read the full post here.

May 02, 2011

Obama Trumps The Donald At White House Correspondents' Dinner

By Elizabeth C.

PRESIDENT OBAMA ZINGED "BIRTHER" DONALD TRUMP WHO WAS A GUEST AT THIS YEAR'S WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER.

Read the full post here.

April 30, 2011

NO YOU CAN'T

Jon Stewart Skewers Obama For His Hypocrisy On Transparency

NOT THAT IT'S WORTH WASTING OUR BREATH OVER, OR THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WE CAN DO, BUT BARACK OBAMA'S RECORD ON GOVERNMENT OPENNESS IS LAUGHABLE.

Read the full post here.

April 05, 2011

TIMES, THEY ARE A-CHANGING

Illustration Credit: Stephen Doyle

Breaking The "One Percent" Rule

By Elizabeth C.

POLITICAL CHITCHAT AT THE DENTIST'S TOOK A STRANGE TWIST RECENTLY.

I casually asked the doc how he was feeling about the political scene. This is a guy who was buoyed by the last presidential election -- by the nation's collective ringing of its hands of George Bush Jr. and his cronies. He's a smart guy, a Chicago guy, who isn't doing too poorly for himself as evinced by his polished look, his vacations and sailboat. So I was surprised and amused when in response to my political fishing, he proffered, "I think we need a revolution."

Read the full post here.

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April 02, 2011

SAME OLD STORY

Child is measured for exposure to radiation

Once Again, Government's Collusion With Business Ends In Disaster

By Elizabeth C.

JAPAN'S EMPEROR BESEECHES HIS COUNTRYMEN TO ''NEVER GIVE UP HOPE," but it's an empty plea when history keeps repeating itself.

How can any citizen believe in government officials when those paid to serve the public's best interests continuously enable lax industry oversight that culminate in such horrors as the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster, last year's BP oil spill, and even the death earlier this year of a two-old Texas boy sickened by contaminated alcohol wipes.

Read the full post here.

March 16, 2011

CULTURAL WARS

In His Race To Be Demagogue, Mike Huckabee Smacks Natalie Portman

By Elizabeth C.

THIS IS PART OF THE REPUBLICANS' PROBLEM: THEY WANT UNMARRIED 28-YEAR-OLD WOMEN TO EITHER BE VIRGINS, OR TO HAVE ABORTIONS IF THEY BECOME PREGNANT.

Now Republicans don't actually say either thing out loud. But that's the underlying message when you have buffoons like Mike Huckabee single out the very pregnant Harvard graduate and Academy Award winning actress Natalie Portman.

Read the full post here.

March 04, 2011

December 08, 2010

STOMPED OUT

Credit: Noah Berger/AP

Prop. 19 Couldn't Light A Fire With California Voters

By Elizabeth C.

POOF, AND JUST LIKE THAT, CALIFORNIA'S PROPOSITION 19 GOES UP IN SMOKE.

You'll be hearing that cliche a lot today. The proposal to make recreational use of marijuana legal in California faltered, with more than half of voters rejecting the bid.

Proponents had argued that legalizing weed would generate jobs and income for the state as well as undermine illegal drug trade.

Read the full post here.

November 03, 2010

NOT BUSINESS AS USUAL

Let Reason Reign On Election Day 2010

Staff

By Elizabeth C.

By Elizabeth C.

HE SPELLS HIS NAME R O D B L A G O J E V I C H AND I doubt there's any Illinois citizen who couldn't tell you that today.

He's the poor man's Bill Clinton, all hugs and smiles and aw-shucks charm without the brilliance.

He may or may not be corrupt -- I'll leave that for 12 jurors deliberating in his federal corruption trial to decide.

But, win or lose, there's no disputing that the deposed Governor of Illinois seems destined for reality TV.

"Hey, you like my suit?," Blagojevich, 53, asks the supportive crowd greeting him outside the federal courthouse in downtown Chicago where he's being tried on 24 charges including extortion conspiracy, wire fraud and bribery conspiracy.

Read the full post here.

FEELINGS

Obama Bot? Not When It Comes To Being Daddy

By Elizabeth C.

HE MAY BE A Roomba when it comes to the BP oil spill, but President Obama's clearly feels the privilege of being a father.

In comments he made on Father's Day and earlier today in Washington, D.C. -- Obama convinces us that he's no robo daddy.

"Without hesitation, the most challenging, most fulfilling, most important job I will have during my time on this Earth is to be Sasha and Malia's father," Obama told reporters earlier today.

And yesterday, while announcing a new federal mentoring program for families, Obama said he regretted missing important moments in his daughters' lives for the sake of his his political career.

Read the full post here.

June 21, 2010

UNEASY ALLIANCE

The Journalist & The Hacker

Wired's Kevin Poulsen Takes Heat For Enabling Adrian Lamo's Addiction To Press

By Elizabeth C.

THE CONVICTED HACKER WHO TURNED U.S. ARMY SPC. BRADLEY MANNING, 22, in to federal authorities for leaking classified documents to Wikileaks has made a career out of seeking his name in the headlines.

Adrian Lamo has spent his short life pulling off high-wire electronic break-ins and then notifying journalists to document his tracks.

"If he's part of a big story he wants it to be known," said Wired's Kevin Poulsen, himself a convicted hacker who once faced a charge of espionage for possessing a classified document.

Read the full post here.

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June 15, 2010

FEEL BETTER

Get Up Of Off That Thing: MoveOn Plans Day Of Protest Over Oil Spill

By Elizabeth C.

Dead dolphin washed ashore along Gulf DAY 50 AND THE OIL KEEPS SPILLING, KEEPS KILLING.

What's dying? A way of life along Louisiana bayous and Florida Panhandle resort towns. "I'm really scared," said Mel Miller, 52, the owner of a seafood market and a commercial fishing boat. "I've invested my life here."

Animals are dying, with 792 dead birds, sea turtles, dolphins and other wildlife so far counted, and probably thousands more that are unseen. "The deaths of dolphins and sea turtles are particularly tragic," said National Wildlife Federation senior scientist Dr. Doug Inkley. "Because we know we are only seeing the tip of the iceberg with those that have been washed up onshore and tested."

One contractor told the media that "there is a lot of cover-up for BP. They specifically informed us that they don't want these pictures of the dead animals.

Read the full post here.

June 08, 2010

REAL REALITY TV

It's Showtime For Blago! Deposed Celebrity-Wannabe Guv Goes On Trial

By Elizabeth C.

IT'S SHOWTIME FOR BLAGO!

Illinois' impeached governor and celebrity wannabe Rod Blagojevich stars in the role of a lifetime as he tries to persuade a jury and the public that he's innocent of federal corruption charges.

"They're liars, they're liars," said Blago moments after he arrived at the Dirksen U.S. Federal Court House in downtown Chicago Thursday.

His wife Patti, best known in America for eating a bug on TV, said, "My husband is an honest man and I know that he's innocent."

Read the full post here.

June 03, 2010

TESTING OUR FAITH

Searching For Salvation From BP's Assault On The Sea

By Elizabeth C.

I MET GOD IN THE MUSEUM OCEANIQUE DE MONACO IN THE SUMMER OF 1993.

If faith's a choice, I remember clearly stepping toward it while watching the teeming gorgeous diversity of life in the salt water tanks of the museum founded by legendary oceanographer Jacques Cousteau.

And though I've since fallen back to doubt, I was convinced that day that this underwater world was too spectacular, too wondrous, to be an accident.

Perhaps this is why I'm paying particular attention to what Cousteau's grandson told Bill Mayer on his TV show two days ago.

Philippe Cousteau Jr., cofounder of EarthEcho International, is setting off the panic button that our oceans cannot recover on their own from man's assault.

"I could cut my leg off, I could cut my arm off, I could gouge my eye out, I'd still probably survive, but not very well, and that's what we're doing to the ocean," Cousteau said during the interview.

Read the full post here.

May 31, 2010

FACELESSNESS = UNACCOUNTABILITY

Obama Should Appoint Al Gore To Spearhead Resolving, Investigating BP Oil Spill

By Elizabeth C.

Al Gore AL GORE, WILL YOU PLEASE STAND UP?

As millions of gallons of oil continue to pollute the Gulf of Mexico -- wiping out sea life, ecosystems, fishing and tourist economies -- no single person has emerged as a credible leader in this fight against time.

The emotionally cool President Obama does not have the temper to react swiftly to the crisis, is accused of helping to obfuscate the facts, and provokes pundits and critics to label this man-made assault on nature his Katrina.

On Friday, the president traveled to the Louisiana Gulf Coast for the first time nearly six weeks after the explosion.

The consequences of America's unquenchable taste for oil now literally stains our shores.

Read the full post here.

May 30, 2010

STILL WAITING

Justice A Long Time Coming In Trial Against Sadistic Cop John Burge

By Elizabeth C.

THIRTY YEARS AFTER TORTURE CHARGES FIRST EMERGED AGAINST HIM, PROSECUTORS WILL FINALLY TRY TO WIPE THE SMILE OFF JOHN BURGE'S FACE.

The former Chicago Police Lt. goes on trial this week in federal court, accused of lying under oath about torturing black suspects in his custody. Jury selection began Monday and resumes today.

Burge was fired from the Chicago force in 1993 after Amnesty International and Chicago activists pressured officials to respond to overwhelming evidence that Burge beat, shocked, suffocated, played Russian roulette and coerced confessions from black men in his custody.

Burge's brutality was documented in a 1994 investigation by producers Peter Kuttner, Cyndi Moran and Eric Scholl.

"Borge said 'It's fun time,"' convicted cop killer Andrew Wilson is quoted saying on the tape.

Read the full post here.

May 25, 2010

CLOAKED OR DAGGERED

Iranian Cleric: Earthquakes Are Modern Women's Fault

By Elizabeth C.

IRANIAN CLERIC HOJATOLESLAM KAZEM SEDIGHI MUST NOT BE GETTING ENOUGH somethin' somethin' or else he experiences some of the earth's most powerful orgasms.

That hypothesis comes from hearing that Sedighi blames "immodestly" dressed women with increasing the likelihood of earthquakes in Iran.

"Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Sedighi reportedly said.

The cleric's words come two weeks after President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad predicted a quake will soon strike Tehran and suggested that 5 million of its 12 million residents should move. And, preferably, those reformists who think he stole last summer's election. (Kidding, he didn't actually say that, he just wished it.)

Iranian women are required to wear black robes but many of the country's young women skirt the law by wearing colorful scarves and showing their hair.

Maybe we should have a little sympathy for Sedighi: a man who thinks women are responsible for earthquakes must lead a life of fear.

April 21, 2010

SAVING THE WHALES ET AL.

Hayden Panettiere's A Real Life Hero

SPECULATING WHY CHICAGO LOST ITS OLYMPIC BID WAS THE DOMINANT SPORT FRIDAY, but it's too soon to know the real reasons.

Theories range from racism, anti-Americanism, the IOC's testy relationship with the United States Olympic Committee, the hubrus of Chicago's Gang of Three, the "savagery" of a Chicago student's murder, to Rio's superior campaign.

All sound plausible but I'll wait for the first-hand reports.

What's more obvious is the joy that a presumed 47 percent of Chicagoans get from the defeat.

"Greed denied. Hubris deflated. I'm glad we lost,'' Chuck K. writes at Chicagobusiness.com. "It brought us down a few notches and made us realize the world looks a lot differently at us than we perceive ourselves. I for one am sick of well-connected insiders in Chicago who profit at the expense of Cook County taxpayers."

The divide has embroiled Chicago web comment boards, with pro Olympic supporters dissing the anti as "negative nabobs." Some even suggested that opponents were really circumcision-obsessed anti-Obamaites, a logic that at least to my mind FAILS.

Even before the vote, WGN's Garry Meier on Thursday accurately connected the venom to Daley backlash. Finally, voters are outraged at Daley's costly clout, strong-armed tactics, and shady deals that enrich friends and political supporters.

"Do you not know that Chicago is not a democracy,'' wrote ejhickey at the Chicago Tribune. "Here power is handed from father to son. The closest model is North Korea."

Read the full post here.

PARANOIA IS JUSTIFIED

Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You

By Crabby Staff

LET'S IMAGINE THAT THE BLOGGER WHO GOES BY THE NAME CYXYMU goes the shrink and confides, ''Doc, I think Soviet-style spies are messing with me. They've hacked into my computer and it's affecting hundreds of millions of Internet users worldwide."

The most likely response from the shrink? That the blogger, a 34-year-old economics professor from the republic of Georgia, certainly is suffering from paranoid personality disorder, "characterized by an extreme level of distrust'' with "unfounded suspicion that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her."

Poor Cyxymu. The doc would write him up as some delusional nut and slap with one or more of the many disorders that include "paranoia" on the checklists of the psychiatric community.

Meanwhile, the maligned Mr. Cyxymus really IS being targeted by unknown agents who are bombarding "millions of spam e-mail messages" to social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook and other services with junk messages."

Unbeknowst to the shrink and even Mr. Cyxymus, the "blitz was an attempt to block the professor's Web pages, where he was revisiting the events leading up to the brief territorial war between Russia and Georgia that began a year ago."

The moral of the story? Yes, sometimes people are mentally ill and delusional about some imaginary private war against them. And then sometimes, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

August 09, 2009

THE CHIP ON MY SHOULDER IS BIGGER THAN YOURS

A Tale of Two Entitleds: Harvard's Gates And The Men In Blue

By Crabby Golightly

AS THEY SAY DOWN SOUTH, I DON'T HAVE A DOG IN THE FIGHT BETWEEN BETWEEN HARVARD'S ESTEEMED PROFESSOR Henry Louis Gates Jr. and the Cambridge Police Department.

I am suspicious of police and their lording ways over the populace: driving through red lights, talking on telephones while driving, sneakily entrapping people at their favorite obscured intersections.

Why, just the other day, I got a ticket for driving through a cemetery, and the short squat officer with the Napoleonic sneer seemed utterly giddy about his 'gotcha' moment.

Read the full post here.

July 26, 2009

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN UTOPIA

What Honduras Coup? It's 'Viva La Revolution!' Where I'm Vacationing

By Sophia Ulmer Sophia

GREETINGS FROM HONDURAS, hot spot of the earth!

I flew to San Pedro Sula last Monday from Chicago, and boy are my arms tired! Okay, enough lame jokes, nyuk nyuk.

I traveled to Honduras -- with my mom, bro, and friend -- at a pretty turbulent time for me, personally. I was expecting a bit of peace, some scuba diving, and ample time to geek out with Joan Didion and Elizabeth Smart. Little did I know, there would be a coup. A fuckin' coup!

Though I was on the mainland (in cities such as San Pedro Sula, Copan, La Ceiba, and Sambo Creek) from last Monday to Friday, I came to Utila, a small island off the northern coast, on Saturday morning, June 27. When former president Manuel Zelaya was ousted on Sunday morning, I was safe and snug at the Mango Inn, preparing for my first underwater experience (SCUBA certifications in Utila are cheap, cheap, cheap).

The stunning island of Utila remained wholly unaffected until Monday evening. Around 8:45 that evening, I was sitting at the restaurant at the hotel, savoring my cold Salva Vida and listening to falling mangoes crashing against the tin roof above my head.

Read the full post here.

July 02, 2009

REVOLUTION

Tumult In Iran After Election

By Crabby Staff

By Cory Fosco

By Crabby Golightly

GEORGE BUSH IS SET TO DELIVER A A PEP TALK TO THE NATION ABOUT THE ECONOMY TODAY. Has he not yet figured out that the best thing he can do is lie low and quietly exit through the back door? Bush demanding the national stage just reminds us all why we're in this mess, and probably costs his party's candidate McCain points in the election. Mr. President, you did too little, too late. If you want to help the nation, say as little as possible. And save your explanations for your memoir.

Proving that these two men are the best the nation has to offer, Barack Obama and John McCain traded comedic riffs at the 63rd annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, a New York charity that benefits deprived children. The candidates poked fun at themselves and each other while helping to raise $4 million dollars.

McCain joked of Joe The Plumber, "What they don't know is that Joe the Plumber recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses," in a reference to he and Cindy McCain. And Obama mocked himself when he said, "Could somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"

The competitors praised each other, with McCain complimenting Obama for his "great skill, energy, and determination, and Obama thanking McCain for the "honor and distinction" with which he's served America. Regardless of who wins the race, something tells me that these two will end up being great friends.

And while in New York, McCain delivered his mea culpas to David Letterman for canceling on his show when the Dow took a nosedive two weeks ago. Then Letterman proceeded to grill the Republican like no media figure has done yet during this political season, leading McCain to crack, "I haven't had so much fun since my last interrogation." Dave, Dave, you used to be such a hero of mine, especially when you aimed your zingers at Oprah. Now you cow to the Queen but pick on the weaker, showing once again your streak of bully.

It's official: Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced. Seems the only person surprised is Madge. Back in June, in regard to rumors of a break-up, she told Vanity Fair, "You have to get to a point where you care as little about getting smoke blown up your ass as you do when you become a whipping boy in the press. Because, ultimately, they both add up to shit." My advice at that time? "Just get off the shit-spewing merry-go-round when you're selling something so we know who to believe." But Madge can't help herself: she just loves the carnival and going around and around in circles.

And Oliver Stone's "W" opens this weekend. The San Francisco Chronicle's Mick LaSalle says the movie "will put off viewers who approve of the president" and amuse those who consider him a disaster." With those numbers at 17 percent and 78 percent respectively, we predict -- duh -- Stone's flick has a chance at appealing to the majority. But, and it's a big but, do we want to be reminded of the last eight years at all?

And so to come full circle, if you started this post from the top, you know my answer.

November 17, 2008

POLITICS

The "Obama Affect": National Joy After A Long, Emotional Winter

By MzEll

MzEll SINCE BARACK OBAMA’S ELECTION WIN, I’ve had strangers speak with such sincerity to me and my children that it makes my heart swell. There’s been an overwhelming surge of goodwill in our country since Obama’s victory.

Despite the far right’s love of war games. and Sexy Sarah’s media blitz, even conservatives are bowing to their forthcoming commander-in-chief. A new Gallup poll shows an increase in the number of conservatives who believe Obama will make an effective president

We all listened on that momentous night, as John McCain shushed his booing supporters and challenged them to accept Barack Obama as their president. But his comments to Jay Leno are the ones that gave me the most optimism for the future. “You know, one thing I think Americans don't want is a sore loser.” It was that calm surrender that finally won John McCain my respect.

Elizabeth Hasselback is also working hard to be a team player. The graciousness from The View’s token Republican comes as great surprise. On the morning after the election, I tuned in to hear what Elizabeth had to say now that her candidate had lost. She talked about watching Obama’s acceptance speech that morning with her daughter Grace on her lap. When Grace asked who’d lost the election, Elizabeth told her no one had, and I agree. No one loses when millions of people rise together to speak with their votes. There are no losers when an African American breaks the race barriers man and ascends to the White House.

It appears even Mrs. Palin is willing to set aside her differences with Obama. Just a few days ago she told Wolf Blitzer she’d be glad to assist the Obama administration any way she could, especially when it came to energy policy and special-needs children. I appreciate her helpful offers, even in they’re superficial in nature.

Collectively, our country is embracing the decision its majority made. And though there are reports that hate has reared its ugly horns the wounds to our national psyche inflicted by the last sad eight years have begun to mend. The good-will flows, and my face is sore from my exercising atrophied muscles: I can’t stop wearing a smile.

MzEll is a stay-at-home mom who writes, reads, knits, and tries to maintain sanity on a regular basis. You can read her blog at Cookiemonks.

November 15, 2008

HISTORY

Hope Delivered: Black Americans Joyous, Proud, Fearful

By Danielle Cadet

TEARS UNCONTROLLABLY ROLL DOWN MY FACE as I think of the Americans who fought and gave their lives just to gain the right to vote. I am basking in the glory and celebration that is this monumental day.

Never in a million years did any of those individuals dream of a black man in the White House. They just wanted -- at the very least -- the chance to choose the white man that would end up there.

I was overcome with emotion when I saw Sasha and Malia playing on stage with Joe Biden’s daughters --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream materialized in those little girls. Black people just generations from slavery are alive to see a black president. For the first time in my life, I have faith in this country.

At 10:01 I heard the words “Barack Obama will be the 44th president of the United States of America.” I cried. I took pictures. Hell, I may just write a letter to my unborn children.

But although we voted for change, we still need to work toward it. There are so many strides to make. I would love to believe that black people can now change the words from “we shall overcome” to “we HAVE overcome.”

Unfortunately, we have not. I am so proud to be alive to see this day of change, to witness where this country has come. But I look forward to the progress to come. The next four years may be harder than the last 21 months. But I’m strapping my seatbelt and getting ready for the ride.

Throughout the last couple months I’ve always been that black person that has tried to look past the color of Barack Obama’s skin. Sure I loved him because he’s black. But I loved him even more because he was the right man for the job. Regardless of his ethnicity, I always felt like Obama was the better candidate—and I wanted every white person I talked to to know that.

But as Election Day came closer and closer I realized how much this election really was about race. My email was constantly being stuffed with chain mail begging black people to maintain appropriate etiquette on November 5th if Obama actually won. Although I chuckled at so many of the emails advising us not to bring chicken and watermelon to work, or give each other high fives on the street, or (worst case scenario) not show up to work at all, the humor was veiling the more important issue.

Now that Barack Obama has become the 44th president all eyes will be on black people. And while it is a huge victory, I fear that others will expect us to shut up. “You got the damn president, what else do you people want?”

Americans may forget that there’s still A LOT of work that needs to be done -- this became even more evident to me as I skimmed the facebook statuses of dear friends who happened to support McCain.

Danielle Cadet is a Danielle is a journalism student Northwestern University who likes to write about fashion and popular culture catastrophes.

November 05, 2008

HISTORY

A Black Man President? Change We Can Believe In

By Crabby Golightly

A LIFETIME AGO, THIS WRITER DID A FEATURE STORY exploring the consequences of growing up “biracial.” What always comes back to me is when one biracial woman said that she had come to see herself as an “ambassador” to the world.

This, she said, was the gift of growing up biracial.

On this eve of history, when America appears poised to elect the first man of color as president, even if we can’t agree on taxes or global warming or international strategy, let us agree that the rise of Senator Barack Obama is a turning point in America’s race relations, when all things became possible to all men. (The women will have to wait.)

The excitement, and, of course, hope, that this candidate generates among people and in particular, African Americans, awakens potential for our entire nation. It is impossible to read about the joy and engagement that Obama’s candidacy has created among blacks in particular without getting goose bumps.

• To the New York Times, 20-year-old Bianca Williams says she returned to college after seeing Obama in the first debate. “I started thinking maybe I could help my community like he did. If he could do it then I could do it. It woke me up, careerwise. It just gave me the willpower to go on.”

• In Kenya, 22-year-old Ida Atieno tells the Associated Press, "Obama represents hope. I see myself gaining from an Obama victory because of the inspiration he gives me."

• In France, Kama Des-Gachons, a 28-year-old Frenchwoman whose parents came from Mali, says, “He makes me dream. I even bought a T-shirt with the American flag. America is the country where you can make it."

Barack Obama, a biracial man born to a Kenyan father and a white mother, is indeed America's ambassador to the world.

"With Obama, a certain idea of America is back: that of a generous society where equality of opportunity is not an empty promise,'' said an editorial in France's Le Figaro newspaper last summer. "Hope and change, key words of his campaign, reinforce this rediscovered ideal, which resonates as much inside the country as beyond."

And even if he achieves nothing as president -- an unlikely possibility from one so smart and tempered – Obama will have forever change how blacks see themselves, and how whites and blacks regard each other. And no matter what your politics, surely this is change you can believe in.

November 04, 2008

POLITICS

Selling Political Wives' Short By Selling Perfection

By MzEll and Crabby Golightly

WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW BAD HAIR JOKES, I don’t recall any male politicians’ sartorial splendor or lack thereof making headlines. But the detailed review of the physical and style attributes of the women on this year's campaign trail have been some of the sexist -- and regressive -- politics I've witnessed.

Hillary Clinton has always received a good amount of attention for her perfunctory personal style, but the fashion police jumped the shark when they forced her to eschew the diamond ring Bill gave her to cut down on the bling, as though carat size presaged political platform.

There was also the harrumphing about the cost of the outfits that Cindy McCain and Laura Bush wore to the Republican National Convention. Mrs. McCain's allegedly cost $300,000! (Thanks largely to three-carat earrings estimated to be worth $280,000.) Joe the Plumber would have to unclog a whole lot of pipes to afford his wife a similar outfit. Mrs. Bush's ensemble was more modest, costing about $4,000, a tasteful sum considering the event.

Then there was the hue and cry over the $150,000 the RNC apparently spent morphing Sarah Palin from hockey mom into VP contender. But the brouhaha was muffled when Hillary Clinton's own stylist was quoted as saying that she was surprised any candidate would pay for designer clothing. She found it "strange" that Palin hadn't been gifted the clothing outright. That expectation was even more shocking to me than the GOP’s campaign clothing budget.

The amount these Republicans spent on clothing seemed to illustrate the differences between the two parties, the so-called haves and have-nots. But even Michelle Obama was not safe from having her style deconstructed, with some wondering aloud whether Oprah was behind her polished first-lady look. And the New York Times went so far as to suggest that Michelle had undergone the “Oprah-fication” of her public persona. All the talk just makes me wonder if Jackie O's style was really her own or something cultivated by a team of high paid stylists.

There is a crisis of vanity in America, and the women of the 2008 Presidential campaign have not escaped its (we suppose “Prada alligator”) clutches. These women on the political frontlines deserve to enjoy the experience that the travel to the White House brings, but not at the expense of their humanity. As our economy falters, America’s obsession over what a politician’s wife ought to look like sends the wrong message about beauty and financial pragmatism.

I too am guilty, as I found myself commenting aloud how Sarah Palin needed to wear her hair down. And my guilt was not assuaged when the next day I read that she'd been advised to do exactly that . Really, should the length and subtleness of Palin’s hair win votes?

It's sickened me when the GOP made such a stink about Palin's lack of retouching on her Newsweek cover . I don't want any of these women – Democrat or Republican -- to be "retouched." Who they really are as mothers, citizens, and females, is drastically more important to them, and to me.

Making the calculated decision to shape them into grandiose projections of perfection belies what this election is supposed to be all about: making changes we can believe in, and protecting our freedom to be you and me.

MzEll is a stay-at-home mom who writes, reads, knits, and tries to maintain sanity on a regular basis. You can read her blog at Cookiemonks.

October 28, 2008

POLITICS

Minister Of Divine Vibrations? Speculating on Oprah's Future Role In The White House

By Crabby Golightly

AS OBAMAMANIA REACHES FEVER PITCH, talk now turns to who will serve in his cabinet. One name on everybody’s list: queen of all media Oprah (sorry, Perez), because she anointed him early as “the one,” risking her brand with the very people who made her one.

Yesterday’s The Daily Beast suggests that Senator Obama create a post specifically for Miss Winfrey. Crabby suggests that it’s always media folk who have probably never watched an hour of Oprah (the one exception being when they appeared), and who have read more of her press releases than her show scripts, who make such suggestions. So, with a special warning to Michelle to keep Her Highness away from the family quarters (because she does not play second fiddle to anyone), Crabby has come up with several potential titles she could wear in the new administration:

Minister of Divine Vibrations -- Devotees of Oprah know that she is gifted with the power of special personal communication from on high. Along the way she has had the help of seers such as Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, James Redfield, Iyanla Vanzant, Gary Zukav, Rhonda Byrne,Eckhart Tolle, Nate Berkus, Bob Greene, and Dr. Phil. As MDV she could be placed in charged of NASA, directing them to listen closely to those parts of heaven from which the latest messages are being signaled.

Chief Stimulant Spending Advisor -- As one of the economic machines that feeds America’s fevered consumerist appetite, let’s put the business titan in charge of advising Americans how they should spend any future stimulant checks. America is in desperate need of an influx of spending, and O could advocate for the purchase of the many luxurious items on her annual “Favorite Things” list. Opraphiles, eager to please and look wealthier beyond their means, will rush out and max out their credit cards to feed their inner hunger while getting the economy chugging again. I can hear Oprah now: CHAAARRRGGGEE IT!

Public Image Director -- This job usually falls to Machiavellian types like Karl Rove, David Axelrod, Lee Atwater, a group that Oprah would fit in nicely. All of them worked their magic as image makers to persuade the public that their man was the man for the job. But Oprah can teach these masters new tricks: she can introduce her ironclad confidentiality agreement to these political operatives, making sure that no insider ever authors a book to challenge the authorized word. Unless, of course, they start a snarky blog and poke good fun!

All of this talk flies out the window in the off-chance that Senator McCain -- who adamantly claimed yesterday that he was "going to win it," -- actually goes all the way. But even then Oprah will win, as she can say, "See? I told you! The Secret really works!

October 27, 2008

POLITICS

Rewriting History: If McCain Chose Judge Judy for V.P.

By SexyChattyCatty

SexyChattyCatty AS SENATOR MCCAIN SURELY CRINGES FROM THE LATEST RANTS OF HIS RUNNING MATE SARAH PALIN, I'LL POSIT THAT HE'D be much better off in the race if he had chosen Judge Judith Sheindlin as his running mate.

No joking! She’s an experienced jurist, is whip-smart, and has a great New York accent that could help "balance the ticket." Her "tough broad persona" is no joke, and people like her anyway!

What else could a president want in a glass-ceiling-busting partner? Can you imagine Judge Judy in a debate with Joe Biden? He’d be toast. Judy wouldn’t need no stinking talking points cue cards, either. You think she doesn’t know the issues? You're crazy! And as she'll tell you in a minute, she didn’t get where she is because she’s cute.

She cows nor bows to no one. Judge Judy would not allow herself to be fed "code" words, would not be “intimidated” into incoherence by Katie Couric. And she’s no Kool-Aid drinker for partisans. A recent article in The Guardian quoted her as a friend of McCain -- whom she calls a "a real meat-and-potatoes guy" -- but nevertheless says she likes Obama.

Diplomatic! Smart! I have never heard Palin say one nice thing about Obama, ever.

John McCain, I’m sorry you’ve tried for the presidency so many times and failed. This could’ve been your year! If only you had chosen the right running mate. Judge Judy for VP!

SexyChattyCatty periodically comments at CrabbyGolightly.com on TV, America's favorite snack food.

October 21, 2008

POLITICS

Obama Seals The Deal: Even Joe the Plumber Can't Save McCain From The Can

By Crabby Golightly

SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN IS ONCE AGAIN IMPRISONED, THIS time by his presidential gambit going nowhere. It ended abruptly last night during the final presidential debate when Senator Barack Obama delivered a preternaturally calm perform while explaining why he ought to be the next president of the United States. And my guess is that even Joe the Plumber can't rescue McCain from the can.

Senator McCain tried to change the inevitable, but all night it looked as though he was boxing at shadows. In one of his best lines, he told Obama, "I am not President Bush. If you wanted to run against Bush, you should have run four years ago." The line caused some titters from an audience sworn to silence.

The Arizonan even dared to mention former 60s radical Bill Ayers, one of the cast of questionable characters that have littered Obama's campaign. Very calmly, Obama explained that he had served with Ayers on an education reform board financed by a former ambassador to Ronald Reagan, adding his own footnote to Republicans' favorite hagiography. And without any evidence to the contrary, America has little reason to doubt him. He then flicked the topic away with the remark that McCain's focus on Ayers "says more about your campaign than it says about me."

In short, the night's overall picture was of that an outsized fighter bobbing and weaving around the taller heavyweight champ.

Unlike the first debate, when Obama felt the need to address every debate point McCain made, Obama oozed confidence and control. He discarded soundbites and opted for a heartfelt conversational tone while admonishing McCain that America's youth aren't a "special interest'' but our future. He also said he "didn't mind being attacked for the next three weeks," but that the public can't afford four more years of bankrupt government.

In short, Obama ended the night without a scratch. And he didn't gloat or flinch when, during his closing comments, he looked straight in the camera and delivered his knock-out blow:

"The policies of the last eight years, and Washington's unwillingless to tackle the tough problems for decades, has left us in the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. And that's why the biggest risk we could take right now is to adopt the same failed policies and the same failed politics, that we' ve seen over the last eight years and somehow expect a different result. We need fundamental change in this country and that's what I'd like to bring...

It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be quick. It's going to require all of us, Democratics, Republicans, independents to come together and to renew a spirit of sacrifice and service and responsibility. I'm absolutely convinced we can do it. I would ask for your vote. And I promise you, if you give me the extraordinary honor of serving as your President, I will work every single day tirelessly on your behalf and on the behalf of the future of our children.

His competitor congratulated him, saying, "Good job, good job, good job,'' with a vigorous handshake. Which made McCain himself look forward to being sprung from his self-imposed sentence three weeks from now.

October 15, 2008

POLITICS

No Longer Favored Son, Texans Feel 'Bush'-Whacked By George W.

By MzEll

MzEll IF YOU ASK MY TODDLER ABOUT GEORGE W. BUSH, he'll tell you that he lives on a refrigerator magnet, and that he is a "yocky man!," his two-year-old's Texas twang turning the 'U' into an 'O.' But in Texas, it's not that simple.

I grew up in Midland, TX, from where Bush hails, and called it my home until I had my own family. I was also raised in the same Methodist traditions as President Bush, and am in essence a member of his extended congregation. So it’s hard for me not to feel sympathy for the man, if not for the "President," behind the public's scorn. In the newsletter of the church I attend in South Texas, there is a permanent entry to pray for President Bush, and I do so almost every night.

Yet I’m ambivalent about Bush, as many Texans are. Four years ago while attending the local community college, I was stopped by a smart female student because I was wearing a ‘Democrat’ pin. My schoolmate’s reaction? Basically all Texans should vote for Bush because he ‘s Texan, and that Afghanistan and Iraq should just be blown up. I was aghast, embarrassed that someone so smart had such a childish response.

That down-home pride has all but disappeared for Bush. Last week I talked to a few students on that same college campus, and all were either angry or chagrinned about Bush's job performance.

Salon’s Bill Sasser wrote about the turn against Bush in the Lone Star State. “Back in the day you couldn't swing a dead cat around here without hitting one of those 'W' stickers,'' he wrote. "But feelings around here started to change about a year ago, when guys started going back to Iraq for their third deployment.”

Sasser points out that more Texans have served in Bush’s wars than any other war, and that only California has sent home more dead soldiers. Even the editor of Texas Monthly, Paul Burka, who's covered politics for 30 years and voted twice for Bush, is embarrassed by his past votes. And James Henson, a University of Texas public policy professor, said in the same article that finding Texans who admit to voting for Bush “is like trying to find people who voted for Nixon in his 1972 landslide."

My mother-in-law has voted Republican in every election since Goldwater ran for President. Even she is disappointed by Bush’s last term; she shakes her head and covers her eyes when talking about it. Last week she confessed that she just might sit this election out.

As my husband says, George W. like Coca-Cola to Texans: We still prefer Coke to Pepsi (Democrats?), it's just this case the Coke has gone flat and rancid.

MzEll is a stay-at-home mom who writes, reads, knits, and tries to maintain sanity on a regular basis. You can read her blog at Cookiemonks.

October 12, 2008

TELEVISION

"The View" In Black And White

By Crabby Golightly

THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN IS GETTING EVERYBODY'S HACKLES UP, EVEN THE LADIES OF THE VIEW.

Full disclosure: I've never watched a complete episode of The View. I will not wear that one. But the firestorms that erupt between the five hosts sometimes break through the headlines, and so I got to see Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Sherri Shepherd's "passionate" exchange about Barack Obama's eyebrow-raising ties and John McCain's disloyalty to his first wife. My reaction? "Wow! A real conversation on TV!"

The sentiments expressed by Hasselbeck and Shepherd are spilling out all over America, so why shouldn't they raise the same questions? It does a nation good to clear the air.

The media acts as though America is divided into two camps: liberal or conservative, racists or not, but the truth is far more complicated, nuanced and ephemeral.

The only comment out of line was Joy Behar's flippant remark, "You're listening to Sean Hannity too much!" after Elisabeth rightly pointed out the Democrats' hand in bolstering up a shaky Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

That was below the belt, Joy. And, FYI, brush up on your facts.

Even the Washington Post, a media outlet with some of the best liberal cred, reported the Dems' involvement as fact. So does Tina Brown's latest media creation, The Daily Beast, which labeled Congressional Dems as "enablers" in the country's finacial fiasco.

So here's my plea to the ladies, as well as to the nation. Can you stop ganging up on Elisabeth? There's a whole lot of people like her out there, even in Barack territory, except they only say privately what Hasselbeck said publicly.

Geesh, used to be Republicans were the vicious bomb-throwers who thrilled at sowing contempt. This campaign the Dems' have borrowed a page from that playbook. Can we bring some civility back to the debate?

October 09, 2008

POLITICS

Obama: Calm At the Eye Of the Storm

By Crabby Golightly

CAN WE GET THIS THING OVER WITH?

This "thing" being the interminable Presidential campaign and Tuesday night's "town hall" debate during which few words from either candidate caused an uptick in active listening.

At the end of the world as we know it, Senator Barack Obama seemed fine: unflappable and cool and ready for whatever the afterlife delivers. And Senator John McCain showed he is ready to go out with figurative guns blazing.

Today, I'll not participate in partisan hair-pulling. Last night I saw both men as honorable and disciplined and well-intentioned, but with different world views. Unlike during the first debate, when McCain played offense with his can-do comments and attacks on Obama, last night he paced like a hungry lion waiting for prey.

Obama wasn't in danger; he was the elephant on the horizon.

The race is near over, and political fortunes can change with the wind. But this year the economic gales are foretelling a long winter. Stock up on food, conserve fuel, bring your rosary and batten down the hatches.

Change is arriving at the station.

October 08, 2008

POLITICS

Pelosi Et Al. -- Wipe The Smiles Off Your Faces

By Crabby Golightly

WHAT THE HELL DID THEY FIND SO FUNNY?

Here they were, Congressional Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barney Frank and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson sharing a laugh while announcing to the media that they reached an accord on the repulsive $700 billion bailout of Wall Street’s Masters of the Universe at the expense of ordinary Americans.

But the self-congratulations were premature and the pictures taken Monday showed grimmer expressions on the dealmakers’ faces.

While partisans threw pot-shots at each other – the Dems blamed the Republicans for the failure of the bailout plan and vice versa -- the reality is both political parties’ got us into this quicksand. And Congressional leaders who face November elections weren’t willing to absorb the voters’ anticipated zings and arrows.

When the votes were tallied, there were 228 nays versus 205 yeas against the biggest market intervention since the Great Depression. Of Dems, 95 opposed the bill while 140 voted in favor; 133 Republicans nixed the plan while 65 supported it.

Meanwhile, back at the race, the Obama and McCain camps pointed fingers at each other.

During a presidential campaign with lots of talk about chickens coming home to roost, this story was the foulest. We are all complicit in this mess; the media for spoonfeeding us stories about Jesus’ face in cat fur stories while ignoring real crises. Or for dismissing what they surely thought shrill complaints from Ralph Nader about lax governmental regulation and corporate welfare for the likes of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Today’s reporters seems to do little more than yap like little dogs at bigger dogs; but as usual their bark is bigger than their bite. The sleaze-fest that Congress has become can be directly traced back to the money from wealthy individuals and corporations who want to a piece of America’s pie when legislation is written, and candidates’ open palms.

Count me among the millions who are glad that they issue hasn’t been resolved quite so quickly to Congress’ satisfaction. Yes, yes, I’m aware that something must be done to avert another Depression. Americans rely on ol’ Uncle Sam to play both mommy and daddy.

But there’s lots more work to do to ensure that all of those who contributed to this fiasco are forced to sweat before the final tally is deducted from the next generation’s future.

Here’s where they can begin: Bush, Pelosi, Reid, Paulsen, et.al – stop laughing at our expense.

September 30, 2008

POLITICS

The Kids Aren't All Right: Cracks In The Facade Of The Palin Family

By MzEll MzEll

I am slightly addicted to Celebrity Baby Blog. I first visited there to find out what Elizabeth Hasselbeck was naming her baby. If it weren’t for that odd inquiry, my ear would never have been tuned in to the name Sarah Palin. The pregnancy and birth of the VP contender's fifth child, Trig, were both reported there, and since then my original impressions about Mrs. Palin have completely changed.

At first I thought, “Wow, what an inspiring woman! To conceive another child with so many other responsibilities, and then return to them so completely, even with her son’s disability.” I didn’t know anything about Sarah Palin except what I read at the CBB and her general appearance. Her decisions then seemed to be those of a modern, working mom making good choices for her family.

Then John McCain nominated her for VP, and I noticed she was a Republican. Almost immediately afterwards, there was speculation that her baby was really her daughter’s. That’s a lot of Mama drama! Next, was the news that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Up until this point, she had the benefit of my doubt. Being a mother is challenging, and you can’t be with your children all the time.

Another confession: I also frequent Perez Hilton, where I drank up alleged pictures of Bristol Palin posing with a bottle of "Captain Morgan" and a scantily clad friend. (Although the girl doesn't look a thing like Bristol to my eyes.) Then there were rampant rumors all over the internet about Track Palin vandalizing a school bus. My faith in Palin as a mother was lost. Sarah Palin’s views on sexual education, evolution, and religion as a whole didn’t improve her standing as a mother.

How do the church-going kids of an American governor have the space to drink, vandalize buses and and get pregnant? Where was Sarah Palin when all of this was happening?

The lack of communication and understanding required for that much family drama is astounding. Devotion to your day job should never outweigh dedication to raising competent adults.

I feel bad that her children have been forced into the spotlight. I also remember from my own teen years that your parents cannot control you, or even know you completely. But I feel a mother who represents America has a responsibility to have done a better job.

You can preach abstinence and promise rings, but when your child is old enough to have sex, there needs to be something more than talk.

I don't doubt that Sarah Palin loves her children more than her own life. For the sake of her younger children, I hope that she has done and continues to do the best she can. For this mom, however, she hasn't done good enough.

MzEll is a stay-at-home mom who writes, reads, knits, and tries to maintain sanity on a regular basis. She blogs at Cookiemonks.

September 27, 2008

POLITICS

Ron Paul Is Right: The Only Chance For 'Change' Is To Vote For A Third-Party Candidate

Both Obama, McCain, Guarantee More of the Same

By Crabby Golightly

The crash of America's economic markets is a timely reminder of the importance of the upcoming presidential election.

The American Dream is deferred for millions teetering under higher gas, electric, housing, medical costs and overextended credit cards.

While thousands of Americans lose their homes to foreclosure, corporate welfare continues unabated, with the government's $85 billion bailout of insurance giant AIG.

As admirable as both presidential candidates are -- Barack Obama with his charm, intellect and swagger, John McCain for what Time calls his twin conflictions of ambition and honor -- neither man has the righteous indignation necessary to change the status quo. And to suddenly aspire to it would mean eschewing the political machines that have brought them to the top of the presidential heap.

Like every campaign before it, this presidential race is turning out to be the most expensive to date, with more than $1 billion raised so far, much from "bundlers" who have an economic interest in influencing legislators. The largest piece of that pie will be spent on television and internet advertising, estimated to exceed $3 billion, thus enriching broadcasters who are the primary source of news and information for Americans. So it should be no surprise that what passes for news coverage can at best be described as a "pig wearing lipstick."

Barack Obama, the people's messianic hopes aside, is unlikely to turn this corrupt tide. To date his campaign has raised $390 million-- more than any single presidential candidate in history. He's also now part of the Richard Daley Chicago machine, which runs the City of Clout like a family of sanctioned mobsters. The system is so broken here that elections don't matter so much as political appointments. Residents, distracted by the Cubs or their Wiis or their car payments or by television's somnambulistic influence, routinely re-elect incumbents, who then quit and hand their seat to a family member or political operative. Those who think Obama will deliver the promised land have ignored his lack of reform in Illinois and Congress.

McCain, who has to date raised $174 million for the campaign, has a longer history of falling on his sword on behalf of change. Caught in the Keating Five scandal, political pundits say that McCain's dutiful reaction to that embarassment was to become a bipartisan reformer, leading to his stewardship of the McCain-Feingold Act, which limited the impact of "soft money" and "issue ads" in presidential campaigns. As moderate as his record is compared to Republicans in the Senate, McCain is handicapped for being from the party that has enabled big oil and business to gorge themselves at the public's expense. And up until this week, McCain had little to say about re-regulating an out-of-control and collapsing marketplace.

All of which brings home former presidential candidate Ron Paul's point that made last week while calling on voters to support a third-party candidate.

"I've come to the conclusion, after having spent many years in politics, is that our presidential elections turn out to be more of a charade than anything else, and I think that is true today,'' Paul said. "It is a charade."

According to CNN, Paul said the "two major parties and media had 'colluded' to avoid discussing issues and falsely presenting the difference between McCain and Obama as real."

What -- other than the dismantling of civil rights, consumer protections and regulation -- has been accomplished by Bush and Congress during the last eight years? Do we really want to perpetuate financial practices that devalue our economic system? Play world cop by enforcing "pre-emptive" hegemony? Spend billions on an unwinnable war on drugs?

When hundreds of thousands turned out in Berlin to hear Obama speak, pundits chalked it yet again to his charismatic pull. But in a 2002 report comparing elections around the globe, Germany ranked 33rd for voter turnout while America ranked 120th. Germans are in general more politically engaged.

This year we saw several examples of populations turning out in force to pressure their governments for change. More than 40,000 South Koreans marched to protest their country's renewed imports of U.S. beef. And hundreds of thousands of Colombians marched to protest abductions by leftist guerrillas in the South American country. What America needs is a good, old-fashioned revolution.

Ron Paul is right; the two-party system is a fixed-game for those on the inside. And until Americans shake off their apathy and turn out enmasse at the polls, nothing's really going to change.

September 18, 2008

POLITICS

Sarah Palin Proves She's Expert Marksman, Takes Aim At Obama, Media Critics

By Crabby Golightly

NO BULLDOG EVER LOOKED SO GOOD IN LIPSTICK, nor roused a crowd to such a clamor.

In a reversal of political winds, Republican VP nominee Alaska Governor Sarah Palin powered through her televised introduction to the nation Wednesday, wowing Republicans and Independents with the idea that Mrs. Smith was heading to Washington.

After a weekend of character assaults by the media and blogosphere, and flanked by her picture-perfect family, soccer-mom-turned-Governor proved she was up to the fight of the national presidential campaign, taking some of the best swipes yet at Barack Obama with the sincerest of smiles.

"I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," except that you have actual responsibilities,'' said Palin in a sly dig at Obama.

"I might add that in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they are listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening.

"We tend to prefer candidates who don't talk about us one way in Scranton and another way in San Francisco."

The Alaskan hunter had hit her target with a bullseye! In fact, all night long Mrs. Palin proved herself of steely aim.

"And though both Senator Obama and Senator Biden have been going on lately about how they are always, quote, "fighting for you," let us face the matter squarely. There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you." Bang!

"I've noticed a pattern with our opponent,'' she said. "...We've all heard his dramatic speeches before devoted followers. And there is much to like and admire about our opponent.But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate." Pow!

Palin went on, "But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed, when the roar of the crowd fades away,when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot, what exactly is our opponent's plan? What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet?

"The answer is to make government bigger, take more of your money ... and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world."

Well, actually Sarah, no one has succeeded at that quite like Republican George Bush, which is the big problem for your ticket. But you did cleverly remind us of the messianic complex of Obama and his followers.

I had begun to lament the off-the-deep-end partisan punditry increasingly practiced by both sides of the political divide. I was peeved at the sexism used like a baton against Hillary and Sarah. I don't agree with Sarah Palin on a lot, but to my mind that doesn't mean I can cast vile insinuations about her daughter's baby's father. (Who turns out to be a hottie, hence a political plus for Sarah!)

Now do I worry? Not so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, have at her. The Governor will take your questions now.

September 04, 2008

POLITICS

Sarah Palin As VP: One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

By Benjamin Bradshaw B.

T

HE LATEST AND MOST REVEALING NEWS ABOUT SARAH PALIN might just prove she's the worst choice for America right now, but the best choice for McCain’s campaign.

Bristol Palin reportedly plans to marry her baby’s father and make family dinners super awkward for years to come. The McCain campaign announced Monday the seventeen year-old daughter of Republican vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin is five months pregnant.

Sarah Palin is an old school politician in a girl’s body. Her cocky, unwavering close-mindedness is directly proportional to the number of skeletons in her closet. A look at her impressively ass-backwards political history shows she doesn’t have a place in her heart for sissy, forward-thinking “trends” like equality or ecology. McCain’s unlikely candidate:

~ Is pro-life, even in circumstances of rape and incest (and wayward daughters).

~ Supports “abstinence only education,” which means when students ask about STD’s, the health teacher shrugs and mutters something about marriage. (It’s literally the opposite of “education,” which leads to the opposite of “abstinence.”)

~ Opposed gay marriage or health care for gay couples (which I guess is OK, because gays aren’t technically people).

~ Opposes the legalization of marijuana (because Republicans are still having issues admitting they smoked their way through college).

~ Supported Bush’s fight against terrorism (which I think means she supports the war in Iraq).

~ Has stated she doesn’t believe people caused global warming. (Really?)

~ Supports oil drilling in Alaska. (That makes sense, nature’s gay anyway.)

With all this said, I am glad to see that Palin has embraced at least one popular trend in America. Nothing says “I’m so 2008” like a knocked-up, underaged daughter.

My first thought upon hearing about Palin’s nomination was literally “Is McCain fucking drunk?” He’s capitalizing on the push for a minority in office despite her obvious lack of qualifications.

This transparent attempt to keep up with the Jones made me think, “Well, there’s the nail in his coffin. Hello Obama.” But with the campaign’s new pregnant daughter scandal, I’m feeling that voters might give him a shot.

America has a soft-spot for the Cinderella story. Only four years ago George Bush was reelected, a decision Americans seemed to base on some unlikely fairy tale ending. Obama is the big man in town now (hipsters, gangsters, and Oprah in tow) and McCain, regardless of how slimy, is the underdog.

Obama and Clinton spent almost 18 months breaking stereotypes while McCain was the odd man out as a rich, white male. Now with three months to go, McCain’s campaign smartly jumps on the minority bandwagon to capitalize on the Democrats’ recent political success. It’s a timely tactic, but picking Palin after a long campaign of Obama and Clinton is equivalent to watching the Dukes of Hazard Movie instead of the original TV show.

Benjamin Bradshaw B. is a fashion merchandising student who blogs at CrabbyGoLightly.com on culture, ads, and corporate monsters. You can reach him at Myspace.com/taterzz.com.

September 03, 2008

POLITICS

POLITICS

'New York' Mag Crowns Hillary Clinton Winner By Losing

TALK ABOUT DOUBLESPEAK. The cover story of the June 23rd issue of New York mag hails Hillary Clinton as the "patron saint of low-brow sinners." A historic, iconic feminist hero who ''won'' by losing. That's a load of crap, sold as cheap salve to those still tending fresh wounds. But losing is not the same as being a 'loser,'' as Hillary proved, if not so much to herself, then at least to her millions of supporters.

Now with Barack Obama flip-flopping on public financing of the general election, and with John McCain raising the specter of new nuclear power plants and offshore drilling, Crabby is adrift without a candidate. But as Scarlett O'Hara used to say, "I'll think about that tomorrow."

The mag's premature postmortem on Clinton's presidential ambitions pointedly suggests that husband Bill is guilty of (perhaps subconsciously?) tripping up his wife's campaign. It also paints Hillary as a better pol in loss, tough as nails to the end, and lacking in any self-pity. A woman with less faith would be feeling forsaken.

Author Thomas Mallon writes: "She isn’t a phony,” went the best explanation of Holly Golightly, “because she’s a real phony.” And now, thank goodness, so is that other transplant to New York, Hillary Clinton —- an authentic politician at last."

Here's hoping she allows herself a good cry, and then fights her way back to the field next time. In the meantime, this sinner will be praying for us and her.

June 20, 2008

POLITICS

Cutting Out The Middleman: Why Take Money From Lobbyists When You Can Funnel It Directly Through Elites?

AT THIS POINT, WE SHOULD ALL KEEP OUR FINGERS CROSSED THAT "THE MESSIAH" BARACK OBAMA CAN WALK ON WATER. Because we are going to need a divine hand in righting the wrongs of the last eight years. His ascent to the presidency seems preordained, at least according to astrologers, historians and even crooks and liars. Yet I can't shake the feeling that Obama isn't the man we've been waiting for.

For a campaign built on "change," the charismatic Senator likes his operatives old-school. By which we mean Chicago-style, quid pro quo, back-washing politics.

His chief strategist is political consultant David Axelrod, Mayor Richard Daley's elections' bagman, who now serves Illinois' two most powerful pols. Shortly after he lay claim to the Democratic nomination for president, Obama rushed back to Chicago to pay back Daley with an appearance at a rally celebrating Chicago making the final cut for the 2016 Olypics. As an example of Chicago politics, there were news reports that Daley had "invited" (cough, cough) city employees to attend the rally. More recently, I'm sure the relationship also had something to do with Obama moving his entire campaign out of D.C. and back to Michigan Avenue. Fundamental lessons: Paybacks are important in politics, and so is consolidating power.

Which is why it is troublesome that Obama chose Jim Johnson to serve on his vice-president research team. Johnson, former chairman of Fannie Mae, resigned from the post after he was fingered as possibly being a "friend of Angelo,'' or Angelo Mozilo, the CEO of Countrywide, the biggest U.S. home lender, who reportedly gave Johnson and other influentials good deals on mortgages.

Countrywide shoulders a lot of blame for underwriting risky loans that contributed to the current housing crisis, and Obama has repeatedly denounced the company while campaigning. Obama has also promised to rid the country of such special treatment for the elite, but his lackluster record in the Illinois legislature does not denote a man who is willing to take the lead. You've got to have balls to stand up to influence-peddlers, and as of this date Obama seems only willing to share his bed with them. As far as I'm concerned, the Hillary 'nutcracker' was a compliment; as of now there is no evidence that Obama will be one.

And then there's Obama's bloviating about not taking money from lobbyists, but the disingenuousness of that policy is just evidence that he's a lawyer. Obama has in fact built a money machine unequalled in politics with "bundlers," mostly fat cats, who solicit their private or business networks for donations.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times' Lynn Sweet, "Those at the top of the Obama fund-raising pyramid -- people who pledge to raise at least $250,000 -- get a gold VIP lapel pin with the letters "NFC" fashioned in the campaign's logo." The NFC stands for "National Fundraising Committee. And in the same April article, Sweet revealed that "each of the 138 Obama bundlers promised to raise at least $50,000, and many are from Chicago, not surprising since Chicago billionaire Penny Pritzker is the national finance chairwoman." Pritzker is the campaign's "money maven," and has her own questionable ties to the subprime loan industry.

Having Pritzker, ranked 135th on the 2007 Forbes list of richest Americans, is a signal to elites that Obama is open for business. And they have gotten the message and are getting in line. Even Rupert Murdoch, the man responsible for Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity of Fox TV, is sending smoke signals to the presumptive next president. Everybody wants to be on the winning side.

Having a black president is a milestone for the nation and I am especially excited about what this dream delivers to African Americans. But the question still looms large: What, other than "hope," will Obama deliver to his corporate bundlers?

June 18, 2008

TELEVISION

SexyChattyCatty: I'd Back Dwight Schrute Before McCain

SexyChattyCatty TO QUOTE GERALD FORD, “MY FELLOW AMERICANS, OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER." (Sorry, Crabby.)Barack Obama is the Democratic presidential nominee and Hillary Clinton continues her good works, this time by endorsing her competitor. It’s been an exhilarating time for our nation and SexyChattyCatty’s been fists of fury on more than one occasion. Now for the real fight.

I must admit John McCain makes me chuckle when he said his VP was going to be The Office's Dwight Schrute. But he scares me when he backs President Bush’s policy of of wiretapping without warrants. And you wonder why I distract myself with mindless television?

Read the full post here.

June 09, 2008

POLITICS

Clinton Supporters, Now Take Aim At The MSM: "Misogynistic Sexist Media"

A

S THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY TRIES TO CLOSE RANKS AROUND ITS HISTORY-BREAKING CANDIDATE, Hillary Clinton supporters try to make sense of why her candidacy was undermined so overwhelmingly by men in the media.

Salon's Joan Walsh tackled sexism's role during the primary season and linked to this YouTube call to arms by a group calling itself "Shut The Freud Up. In her article she pointed out how Jesse Jackson continued his fight for his candidacy up the way up to the Democratic convention in 1988 with little resistance from the party.

In her column today, Walsh argues that it is Barack Obama who needs to woo Hillary's 18 million voters. "Winning without overwhelming support from white Democratic women wouldn't be easy for Obama.'' she writes. "I have no doubt Obama and his supporters can reach these women, but first he has to try. I'll start with a few simple pointers for how to do it: Don't call them racist. Or old and irrelevant. And don't say Hillary Clinton has to do all the work to heal the breach; Obama has plenty he can do himself."

Thank God there is one high-profile woman journalist who can counter the poison pen of the New York Times' Maureen Dowd.

Here's what I suggest to Hillary supporters: let's not make it easy for the mainstream media to rewrite their role in this campaign so quickly. Already missing from the postmortems on Clinton's campaign is the hidden wire the media used to trip her up. Geraldine Ferraro is right to ask for an investigation. But the bitter white women who largely supported Hillary don't need further evidence. Just activate the YouTube prompt above and even listen a few minutes and you'll get a taste of the invective against Hillary specifically and women generally.

Clinton's candidacy may be vanquished, but women can still vote, call and write. So I say let's work actively to shudder the voices of the men -- and women -- whose misogyny dripped every time they opened their mouths. Obama promises "change." How about a clean sweeping of the media when the new administration takes office? The regimes of Glenn Beck, Maureen Dowd, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Tim Russert, Jonathan Alter and Howard Fineman have lasted too long and have a vested interest in making the future president look good. After all, they'll have had a large hand in putting him in office. And if they don't go away, turn off your TVs and cancel your subscriptions.

June 05, 2008

Rachel Pitches for Dunkin Donuts

Unhinged: Exposing Conservative Extremists Gone Wild

SOMEHWHERE, OPRAH IS LAUGHING. For her too-big-for-her-britches protege is caught at the center of a firestorm set by political extremists, American-style.

I'll keep it short: Rachel Ray's latest pitch for Dunkin Donuts was yanked from the airwaves after two extremist bloggers claimed the scarf she was wearing in the ad signaled sympathies for Arab terrorists.

"The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,’’ wrote conservative commentator Michelle Malkin on her blog. ‘‘Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons.’’

Malkin's skewed view of a boogeyman wrapped in every headdress was promoted by Jewish advocate and blogger Pamela Geller, who wrote on May 18th that Ray was a "Dunkin Donuts jihad tool".

And if you buy that one, here's the heads-up that there are throngs of terrorist sympathizers hanging out at every mall in America. Or perhaps, as the shrinks will tell you, sometimes a scarf is just a scarf. It's overwrought conspiracies like these that cause political sympathizers to lose patience.

May 29, 2008

The Next President of the United States?

More Fun Than Primary Elections: Astrological Predictions for President!

DON'T SCOFF: Crabby is among the minions who read AstrologyZone.com regularly, waiting breathlessly for the clock to strike midnight on the last day of the month just to learn what's afoot for the next few weeks! No matter that astrologer Susan Miller always promises my upcoming days to be fabulously exciting! Or rewarding when, ho hum, they clip along at a consistently boring pace. But I can hope, can't I?

And so it must be that Barack Obama and his supporters are keeping their eyes crossed that astrologers meeting this week in Denver are correct when they predict the Illinois Senator will become the next U.S. president.

Stargazers from 44 countries gathered at the United Astrology Conference to attend workshops on such topics as "The Moon: It's Subtle but Powerful Impact," "Your Unique Way of Working with Time," "Finding Your Natural Mate," "Pluto and the Path of Regeneration," as well as "Medical Astrology in Action."

According to the Denver Post, on Tuesday six panelists during a discussion on this season's presidential election foresaw the Illinois Senator winning "thanks to a Saturn-Jupiter conjunction spelling change." Allegedly the crowd erupted in approval. But then couldn't we have guessed that these freethinkers would be liberals? Still, New York astrologer Shelley Ackerman warned, "There are things that are going to happen in the next couple of months that could turn the game into something different than we think it is right now."

Hmmm. Could Hillary Clinton's practice of The Secret confuse the planets' presidential edict? Guess we'll have to wait and see.

May 21, 2008

Only Half The Story: Hillary Wins

Curiously, Hillary's Election Spread Is Missing From The Headlines

WHERE ARE THOSE NUMBERS NOW?

For weeks, Americans have been clobbered daily with headlines ascertaining Barack Obama's increasing influence over the minds and hearts of Pennsylvania voters. Yet, oddly, in the wee hours of the morning, there was a complete absense of any numbers in the victory headlines regarding Senator Hillary Clinton's primary win. Hopefully, the divide by numbers was missing because the pundits hadn't had time to pour over the results and not due to some conspiratorial zeitgeist of newspaper editors. But by 2 a.m. Central, there were hints in print that Clinton had scored big.

"Clinton Outduels Obama in Primary,'' reported the New York Times. Five paragraphs into the story, the inconvenient truth appears: "Incomplete returns from Pennsylvania showed Mrs. Clinton leading 55 percent to 45 percent." Someone needs to tell those wizened wizards at the old Gray Lady that they buried the lede.

The USA Today declared, "Clinton boosted by big win in Pa. primary" in a 15-paragraph story that did not mention the margin at all. But Crabby gives credit where credit is due: there was that handy graphic nearby showing in small numbers that Clinton beat Obama by 10 percent. Why not in the headline? Why not in the story?

My beloved Wall Street Journal (RIP, sweet, wonderful stalwart that you were,) declared "Clinton Defeats Obama In Pennsylvania Primary." And paragraph four includes like this, "Tuesday night she held a 55%-to-45% majority, with about 94% of the vote reported -- short of the blowout many strategists said she needed." A win may not be a win in some minds, but 10 percent is a strong advantage in any sport, including the bloodiest known called politics.

Finally! Someone mentions the point-spread in the lede! The Washington Post pulled no punches when it delivered the bad news to Obamaphiles. Right there, in the first sentence, it said, " Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton won the Pennsylvania presidential primary decisively on Tuesday night, running up a 10-percentage-point victory that bolstered her case for staying in the race for the Democratic nomination."

Wow, a newspaper that actually uses the archaic "inverted pyramid" to tell a breaking news story. The Post writers much be gray if they know it; seems nobody much practices it anymore. But then, what do they know about news reporting over at that rag?

April 23, 2008

Do Barack's ears grow every time he prevaricates?

Barack Obama's Is No Small "Change" Agent: Only Big Bucks Will Do

GRANTED, THE MAN IS A GIFTED ORATOR WITH A UNIQUE BACKGROUND AND A BOATLOAD OF CHARISMA. And though he promises "change we can believe in," I would say that the change he chants about upon close inspection seems an awful lot like "more of the same."

The Washington Post has a fascinating albeit late story in today's paper about the billionaire "bundlers" who have helped Obama rake in an unprecedented $240 million in campaign contributions. All of them have ulterior motives that go unspoken.

These big money contributors give Crabby, a Chicago resident, queasy unease about the commonalities they share with accused con and real estate developer Tony Rezko from whom Obama sought help in buying a sliver of property to expand his back yard. Published accounts show that Obama approached Resko about two properties for sale next door to each other on Chicago's South Side and CLOSED on the properties the same day. Later, Rezko sold a sliver of his new land back to Obama for less than market rates. Barack apologized, said he made a mistake with his typical feigned sincerity, but the belated apology is a typical behavior pattern for him, according to Chicago's Sun-Times' columnist Lynn Sweet. She notes Obama's pattern of "taking on a higher standard, but only when it appears to be politically expedient." The Wall Street Journal points out today yet another example of Obama backing into virtue in an article regarding Obama's flip flop on accepting public funds for his presidential campaign.

While Barack's givers say they support the man because he "inspires," the political truth is they don't have to give voice to why they support an unseasoned junior senator with a cowardly record in the Illinois legislature. Their contributions are louder than any "change" chants.

April 11, 2008

The Sad Truth About Obama: He was Forced to Choose a 'Side'

HISTORY WILL RECOGNIZE BARACK OBAMA AS, IF NOT AS THE FIRST African-American president, then surely the first politician for whom it was safe to address the perpetual suspicions and resentments between blacks and whites. Despite their loyalties to the black community, Hillary and Bill have nothing on Obama in this topic, for the black man who would be president has the advantage of being biracial.

Obama's upbringing is both his lore and allure: he was born to a white woman and a black African, abandoned at two by his Harvard-bound father, raised by his mother and grandparents in Hawaii, and later moved to Jakarta, where he lived with his mother and Indonesian stepfather. That spice of his life, combined with the bland rectitude of having graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, make him what some have called a "Rorschach Test" for Democratic voters. They can project whatever they want on this candidate. And in his beautifully written and masterfully delivered speech on race this week, Obama proved that he sees from both sides of the divide. We witnessed his expression of an imperfect love of a minister who delivers racial rants, and of a white grandmother who fears groups of black men. And while some have rightly pointed out that Obama could not choose his grandmother, Obama's admissions gives us all permission to express our own deep-seated anxieties, resentments and puzzlement over our misgivings about "race." And though the media could have begun this debate, and the healing decades ago,(it was too busy cowering in fear of "black anger,") this is safe territory for Obama, because he is both white and black.

Frankly, I think it's naive for white Americans to think that blacks should by now be liberated from seething anger over racism. Though it's been nearly 150 years since the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, it's been mere decades since blacks where threatened for daring to go to school, drink from public water fountains, ride in the front of a bus. Martin Luther King's "dream deeply rooted in the American dream" has come a long way since President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. But that vision has not yet materialized for every person of color, and today it's slipping away from millions of middle class blacks, whites, Latinos and Asians.

Yet self-loathing has also scorched black communities, leaving many children fatherless, indifferent to education, and too-willing to surrender to hopelessness. And too many demagogues are only too eager to blame historic racism on African Americans' current woes without holding up the mirror. It is for these reasons that whites smolder silently.

Obama knows both these scenarios. Perhaps it's because he did not choose his grandmother, could not lose her, needed her, that Obama learned that the flaws in our loved ones do not really matter. Because he ultimately did choose the Rev. Jeremiah Wright during his "odyssey" to find his racial identity. "On the streets of the South Side, where the Black Panther movement, Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, and the Rev. Jesse Jackson flowered, Obama was mocked as a dispossessed newcomer who failed to grasp the historical urgency of the black struggle. "The white man in blackface," a political rival once called him," writes the Boston Globe's Scott Helman.

Would Obama have had a political future if he had not planted grass roots in the black community? I suspect not. He could have walked out of Rev. Wright's racist sermons, he could have chosen a different path, a different church. He, more than most, knew a fuller truth. But in America, biracials are forced to choose sides. Their world can be a lonely place if they fail to do so. And that truth is no different for one so blessed and talented as Barack Obama.

March 20, 2008

Barack Obama Embraces Jeremiah Wright

The Double Standards of Race-baiting

THE MEDIA KEEPS DENYING THAT IT HAS used different yardsticks when judging the candidacies of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama. Just yesterday I saw MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett on Joe Scarborough's morning program discussing Saturday Night Live's recent skits of a slavish press fawning over Senator Obama. Hazlett reported that Michael Lorne denies SNL is endorsing Clinton as president, but expressed her own view that the skits prove otherwise. Yet Lorne rejected the criticism in a New York Times interview. "That obviously is not the case,'' he told Bill Carter. "We don't lay down for anybody.” He said most of the show's writers are Obama supporters, but that the show's skits had touched on a truth that the media was denying.

Crabby concurs. Just take the example of the recent firestorm provoked when Geraldine Ferraro was quoted in a newspaper saying, "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is.” By which she meant that Obama would have been eliminated from the presidential primary because of his mealy-mouthed voting record in the Illinois legislature, his mischaracterizations about his stance against the Iraq War, and his alliances with shady characters and bad influences were he not such a handsome, charming, and Ivy-educated black man.

But words to such effect are not allowed in our racially-sensitized national dialogue. There have been shout-outs by numerous news organizations for Ferraro to apologize for her "racist remark," a request she has so far adamantly refused. But so far there has been little outcry from the mainstream media about Obama's two decade affiliation with Jeremiah Wright, a minister whose words harbor more overt racism than those uttered by Ferraro. Even the New York Times cloaks itself from this breaking controversy but nevertheless old affiliation with an opening sentence fingering other media's coverage of the story. Check this morning's Google news, and you'll find more than 4,000 stories indexed on the Ferraro brouhaha, but at last count only 60 on the Obama-Wright alliance. Does this not just prove Ferraro's point? Do those numbers in themselves validate the media's bias?

Much ado was made when Bill Clinton called Obama's anti-war stance a "fairy tale," and for having the audacity to say South Carolina's primary win for Obama was a no-brainer given the state's heavy African American vote. But the outrage was muffled when Jesse Jackson Jr. mocked Hillary Clinton for crying over her hair but not for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. The imbalance proves once again the media's timidity in dealing with racial issues. But until it is able to tackle the uncomfortable truths about the differing standards of race from all sides of the debate, racial resentments will continue to simmer just beneath the surface, to occasionally boil over into riots, protests or the "Bradley Effect."

March 14, 2008

Eliot Spitzer

Eliot Spitzer, Fallen Hero of the People

THE DOWNFALL OF New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer leaves me saddened, and I'm a long way away from the Empire State. He was supposed to be the upholder of truth, justice and the American way, just like Superman and all the other G-Men and women. And not because I think prostitution is worthy of the resources of federal investigators. I don't. Aren't there bigger crimes with bigger fish to catch?

But that is not to say that Spitzer hasn't let the little people down.

He was supposed to be above all the rest. He was the capeless crusader, a Manhattan district attorney who launched "a successful investigation that brought down the Gambino family's control over Manhattan's garment and trucking industry." In 1998, he became the state's attorney general, tackling, and here I copy verbatim from Wikipedia, "corporate white collar crime, securities fraud, internet fraud and environmental protection. He most notably pursued cases against companies involved in computer chip price fixing, investment bank stock price inflation, and the 2003 mutual fund scandal. He also sued Richard Grasso, the then-chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, who he claimed had violated his position after receiving an upwards of $140 million as a deferred compensation pay package."

He was, in essence, a real hero of the people. In the Bush era, who else was looking after the interests of ordinary citizens and not the powerbrokers? From afar, it seemed Spitzer was the one high-profile government official sending notice that the law applied no matter how much your bank account was worth. And because he seemed to really mean it, he made me want to follow the law more closely. And because he wore his mantle of righteousness, and he had a wife and three daughters, he had a duty to try to fulfill it, even if it meant foregoing dalliances with lost girls who sold themselves to the highest bidders.

"I cannot allow for my private failings to disrupt the peoples' work," Spitzer said at a news conference in New York City on Wednesday. "Over the course of my public life, I have insisted - I believe correctly - that people take responsibility for their conduct. I can and will ask no less of myself. For this reason, I am resigning from the office of governor."

You have disappointed us, Governor. The little people needed you.

March 13, 2008

He's Not Joking: Jack's Stumping for Hillary

WE ARE USED TO SEEING HIS EXAGGERATED SMIRK AS THE JOKER, familiar with his contemptous sneer in A Few Good Men, have recoiled at the flat mask of a man in About Schmidt. We know him best as the Jack seated in the front row at the Academy Awards, dark glasses intact, wearing the air of a randy king holding court.

But the public is now seeing actor Jack Nicholson in a new role, that of political ambassador. The legendary Jack Nickolson has released his most surprising performance in a "virtual video" endorsing Hillary Clinton as our next president. The video is a montage of quips from Jack's past movies interspersed with questions, an endorsement, and finally with a wiry-haired Nicholson saying, "I approve this message."

But Jack moves beyond the gimmicky campaign ad in an interview with MTV that proves an even stronger endorsement of Clinton, and portrays him as a serious and intelligent student of politics.

Among the more pointed comments he gives:

"It's only now that people are seeing that [the media has] been harsh to her. It's disturbing to me how gleeful they are at her imagined demise or any setbacks she has.''

"I'm not looking for so-called followers. I'm not that crazy about being interviewed. I don't like the sound of my own voice after 20 minutes. On the other hand, I am Irish. I like being involved in the community. As they say, if you don't educate yourself about the political system you're doomed to be led by inferior people. That's one of my fears."

Of Obama, he says, "Believe me, the Republicans are not going to let him slide. MTV doesn't want to hear this, but he seems youthful. His small mistakes do not get amplified. I love the inspiration of Senator Obama, but we have a representative republic for this very reason...These superdelegates are there to make democracy more thoughtful."

And, finally, "The only thing I can say is, it's obvious one person is more experienced."

Tough, honest commentary from a man who makes his living pretending on the screen.

March 06, 2008

Pundits Couldn't Knock Out Hillary

You're Hurting the Party: Pundits, Get Out of the Race

CROW IS BEING SERVED THIS MORNING AT BUFFETS EVERYWHERE POLITICAL PUNDITS GATHER FOR BREAKFAST. After Hillary proved to have the same blood as her husband, the "Come Back Kid", the punditry ilk this morning is scratching their heads, looking down at their plates, and thinking of how to rationalize Hillary's wins in yesterday's primary wins in Texas and Ohio that left egg all over their faces.

As a recovering minor political junkie who has occasionally been more than observer (a paid reporter), Crabby has been agog at the obvious vitriol and imbalance among the chosen few who get paid to report on our nation's most important election. I won't pretend to have read every single political story ever written, but this is the first time I recall reporters telling a candidate when to get out of the race. That's not journalism, that's presumption, which I'm sad to say is an ailment from which many journalists suffer. They transfer the importance of their jobs onto themselves, thus ending up arrogant, out-of-touch, and with senses of entitlement as big as the candidates they cover.

Thank God, the little people reminded the hot shots yesterday that they are in the driver's seat and refused to eject Clinton from the race. Hell, even Karl Rove, considered the devil incarnate by many journalists, thought that the pundits showed poor sportsmanship when they called for Clinton to bow out to allow the coronation of Barack to begin. And don't waste your time calling his comments part of the vast right-wing conspiracy. This year, left-wing pundits are proving better at the tactics.

Here's what I say to those who think they can see the future: You wanna prognosticate? Skip the polls and talk to Americans. And if you are short on topics to talk about, here's a few to consider:

Dig into America's LOAN CRISIS, budget-breaking OIL prices, LAX food inspection, housing's COLLAPSE, overcrowded PRISONS, underperforming schools, ZONING practices that BENEFIT the rich and HURT the poor, political TV advertising, SO-CALLED children's programming, prescription medicine's COSTS, global WARMING, television and film standards, SUBSIDIES for corporations, farmers and fat cat fundraisers (Tony Rezko comes to mind) -- follow them all to the end and you'll find weak legislation favoring those who give money to politicians. That includes media conglomerates, who increasingly make journalism, a once-honorable profession that benefited the public, look more like a pipe dream.

March 05, 2008

Senator John McCain

The New York Times digs, finds little to besmirch McCain

LET ME BE AMONG THE FIRST TO CONGRATULATE SEN. JOHN MCCAIN for leading such an exemplary life that the only dirt four New York Times reporters could uncover on the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is a professional relationship with a female lobbyist that some thought too close for comfort.

The Times story in today's paper suggests that McCain's "self-confidence" over ethics leaves him blind to improprieties, which in turn could make him unsuitable for the White House. "A female lobbyist had been turning up with him at fund-raisers, visiting his offices and accompanying him on a client’s corporate jet,'' the Times reports. "Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened to protect the candidate from himself — instructing staff members to block the woman’s access, privately warning her away and repeatedly confronting him, several people involved in the campaign said on the condition of anonymity....Mr. McCain, 71, and the lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, 40, both say they never had a romantic relationship. But to his advisers, even the appearance of a close bond with a lobbyist whose clients often had business before the Senate committee Mr. McCain led threatened the story of redemption and rectitude that defined his political identity."

If there's ever been less stinging revelations about a presidential contender, I want to read them. The article's unintended byproduct is a virtual endorsement of the Arizona Senator, even as it shows the Times's continuing slant toward sexist thinking. The implication is that men and women can't have close platonic relationships, which of course is only true for some men and women.

February 21, 2008

Pass the 'Camelot' baton to Hillary

The 'End of Camelot.' Really. Truly. Done. Over. Kaput. Nil. Nada. Zip.

THE SLOWEST DEATH IN POLITICS HAS BEEN THE LONG, SAD DECLINE OF A FAMILY WHO ONCE PROUDLY CLAIMED THE CROWN OF CAMELOT FOR THEMSELVES. After Tuesday's Democratic delivery of California and Massuchusetts delegates to Hillary Rodham Clinton, I think it's safe to say that "Camelot" really is dead and, finally, ought to be buried.

According to Wikipedia, Camelot "is the most famous fictional castle and court" associated with the legendary King Arthur...[And a]s a place is associated with ideals like justice, bravery and truth, the virtues Arthur and his knights embody in the romances.'' The term became synonymous with the heartbreaking love affair America had with John F. Kennedy, the handsome playboy president who was assassinated in November 1963.

Kennedy's traumatic murder was deemed "The End of Camelot" for the nation. Yet for others,"Camelot only ended" after the shooting death of JFK's brother Bobby during his run for U.S. president. "As I took a turn standing over the coffin to brace it against the swaying of the train,... and watched the silent crowds lining the tracks, the strongest emotion I felt was wanting the trip not to end. Whatever it was, we knew it was over," wrote Adam Yarmolinsky in the Virginia Quarterly Review in August, 1996.

After that, John's wife Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy assumed all the winsome glamour of the Kennedy name. The beautiful, jetsetting widow of America's most handsome president remarried an oil tycoon named Aristotle Onassis, briefly escaped to Greece, and raised her two children. When that marriage went sour, Jackie returned to New York, where she eventually became an editor at Viking Press and later, Doubleday. And of course when she died in 1994, newspaper headlines asked the question, "Is This the End of Camelot?" "...With her passing ends an era of hope, promise and ideals known to an entire generation as Camelot," wrote one journalist in the Sacramento Observer.

But that speculation was in error. We still had the life and eventual death of John F. Kennedy Jr., whose natural charm, good looks and bloodline burdened him with the impossibly-high expectations of America's romantic love. And when he died in a plane crash, well, that was, once again, "the end of Camelot."

Who knew that almost a decade later Camelot would once again be resurrected, this time in the embodiment of Caroline Kennedy as well as Uncle Teddy, and cousins Patrick and Maria Shriver. In a widely ballyhooed op-ed piece for the New York Times, Caroline endorsed Senator Obama for President. "I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them,'' Caroline wrote. "But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans." The endorsing Kennedy clan turned out Sunday for a heady last-minute California rally on behalf of Obama. And, for a minute in time, it seemed that Camelot would live again.

But then Californians voted Tuesday, and Hillary beat Obama by 10 percent. And in Massachusetts, the spread was even wider: Hillary's won 56 percent to Obama's 41 percent. As they wrote in Cape Cod Today online, "It looks like the half century reign of Camelot has ended in Massachusetts."

And so now, finally, we need to either to bury the "Camelot" Kennedy cliche, or perhaps revive it for the Clintons. May I dare to ask: Are the Clintons the rightful heirs of the Camelot crown?

February 06, 2008

Hillary Clinton

Florida and the Disenfranchised Voter

HAVE THE DEMOCRATS SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE BIG TOE? It wouldn't be the first time. But when national leaders stripped the state of its delegates for moving up its primary to January 29, in essence it also stripped the 2.5 million Democrats who turned out to vote in yesterday's contest of their right to cast a ballot. That means that Hillary will get to crow about her roust of Obama, winning 50 percent of votes cast to Barak's 33 percent, but won't get to add any delegates to her column. As Obama's Barack Obama spokesman Bill Burton wrote gleefully to reporters Tuesday night, "Obama and Clinton tie for delegates in Florida. 0 for Obama, 0 for Clinton."

Yet in this hotly contested historic race between the "woman" and the "black," it's easy to imagine that the final delegate count could be within the 185 that Donkey Party leaders have stripped from Florida's voters. And that would be an awkward postscript for the Party that has rightly claimed that Florida's votes were stolen by the Republicans in the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections. "This whole thing here is a joke," John Taylor, a Jacksonville schoolteacher told The Nation last November. "How stupid the Democrats are--we're shooting ourselves in the foot!...They stole two elections, and now we've been working six years to make sure that don't happen again. And the Democrats screw us!"

Perhaps all 2.5 million votes will be moot after Super Tuesday's 24-state lottery and the 185 Florida delegates won't make a difference in the end. But my guess is that's just wishful thinking.

January 30, 2008

Barack Obama

Can Obama Eradicate Race As a Topic in National Elections?

I APOLOGIZE UP FRONT FOR HAVING THE GALL to second-guess the famed and erudite polemicist Christopher Hitchens who asked this week in Slate if "isn't there something pathetic and embarrassing" about the nation's obsession with Senator Barack Obama's race. Hitchens then goes on to lampoon white America's guilt-ridden swoon over Obama, Republican Alan Keyes for his past "are you black enough?" challenge to the Illinois Senator, and even Obama's Chicago church for its pander to members who remain "true to our native land, the mother continent, the cradle of civilization." And if he's fuzzy on the nuances of what makes a man of mixed-race "black," I highly recommend reading biracial author David Matthews's essay in Radar on this year's election. All this to say: Pardon my insolence, but does it not seem as though Mr. Hitchens has answered his own question?

The fact that Hitchen's column was published January 7, the day before Obama's loss in the New Hampshire primary, may well be significant. For it's only the day after the nation's first primary that Obama's race actually became a part of the public dialogue, and small wonder. Despite polls show Obama leading with double digits, Hillary won Tuesday, Obama lost, and the nation's pollsters imploded. Up until then, few in the media had actually openly posed the question of whether America would vote for a black man (or woman, for that matter) as President of the United States, perhaps fearing that the question itself was archaic, that the nation had advanced so much in just 50 years that the point was moot.

May I suggest there was also fear, for the issue of race in America is one of -- if not the -- most complex and intractable problems that the country faces, and one that the media perpetually avoids. The post-game quarterbacking over what went wrong with the polls started immediately, and among the issues raised was whether white America suppresses the truth about how race plays into its voting. Historically, this has been known as "the Bradley effect", the phenomenon in which black candidates have polled to win but ultimately lose the election, ostensibly because white voters have hidden their true biases from questioners. But already comes denial in the media that race could have been a factor in Obama's loss. No matter that the contest occurred just days after Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman suggested that opponents of golf great Tiger Woods "might have to lynch him in a back alley." Or that it was a brief few months ago that TV and radio provocateur Don Imus was kicked off the air for referring to the Rutgers University's basketball team as "nappy-head hos." Or that the U.S. Supreme Court last summer ruled that "race cannot be a factor in the assignment of children to public schools", vexing both black and white public school parents, and confounding the issue of racial preference in competitive schools. Or that performer and comedian Bill Cosby and Harvard Professor Alvin F. Poussaint have ignited controversy in black communities for daring to suggest that African Americans must eschew a victim mindset. Pardon the pun, but I'm only going skin deep on the rehashing of racial controversies.

It's about time that the issue of race is dealt with honestly in this presidential race, and in America at-large. Hitchen's mock impatience with the idea that race still matters on both sides of the color line belies our nation's reality. The media should not do us the disservice of pretending it isn't.

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January 10, 2008

Hillary Clinton

Thank You New Hampshire for Creating a Race

IT TOOK 16 YEARS IN THE NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT FOR Hillary Clinton to show cracks in the facade. Being of sound intellectual and moral constituency, Hillary is the type that probably resisted advice from political handlers to show her "softer side." Yes, she highlighted her hair, began wearing better cut outfits for her middle-aged figure, but the idea of showing emotion was a double-edged sword. She was a woman and the Democratic front-runner for president, and shedding tears was the last thing that anybody would prescribe to win office. After all, Hillary has spent her lifetime fighting the stereotype of the emotional woman, and crying in front of the public might reinforce those biases. And then there was that political lesson learned when Edmund Muskie was derailed in the 1972 election for allegedly crying over dirty attacks against his wife Jane.

But the day before the New Hampshire primary, when the prize seemed to be slipping away to a handsome Senator from Illinois with a storied upbringing, Hillary dared to show feeling. She did not spill what I would characterize as tears, but for the first time the tough public face fell to show a vulnerable side. And while Tuesday night's talking heads said that glimpse beneath the mask made no difference in Tuesday's outcome, that in fact Democratic loyalists had their minds made up for weeks, here's my bet that it will serve her well in upcoming primaries.

In Candidates' Post-Primary Speeches, the Music was the Message E

VEN THROUGH THEIR CHOICES FOR CAMPAIGN MUSIC, the candidates reveal their divide. HILLARY DECLARED that there "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" to keep her from the race with the help of the old Supremes' song, and that she was an "American Girl," at least so far as how Tom Petty describes one.

BARACK OBAMA told supporters that they looked "beautiful" last night through the music of U2's "City of Blinding Lights."

JOHN EDWARDS invited everyone to come up for "The Rising," with the help of Bruce Springsteen's spiritual.

And BILL RICHARDSON alluded to tearing down walls through the words in U2's "Where The Streets Have No Name."

On the Republican side, JOHN MCCAIN, who gave a heartfelt victory speech, pulled no punches and let voters know that he was "Gonna Fly Now," the Rocky theme song.

MITT ROMNEY played it close to his heart invoking the "Dirty Water" of the Charles river, a song played by several artists.

And MIKE HUCKABEE borrowed glitz from Elvis's "C.C. Rider".

Even through music, the Dems showed their progressiveness; the Republicans their penchant for traditional standbys.

January 09, 2008

Eve of New Hampshire Election

But Wait! The Election is Just Getting Started...

WHEN I TURN IN TONIGHT AND SAY MY PRAYERS, along with asking for a break for Britney, I'll beseech the heavens to make the outcome of Tuesday's New Hampshire primary a surprise. Not that I have a thing against the charismatic Democratic Illinois Senator Barack Obama or the Republican with the man-of-the-cloth manner, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. But I do resent the media's penchant for reacting as though Iowa's results are a fait accompli for the rest of the race, particularly for the Dems. Even the hard-to-impress Maureen Dowd of The New York Times has joined the Obama bandwagon, waxing romantically on Sunday about his caucus win: "The Obama revolution arrived not on little cat feet in the Iowa snow but like a balmy promise, an effortlessly leaping lion hungry for something different, propelled by a visceral desire among Americans to feel American again." Little cat feet? Balmy promise? A hungry leaping lion? Maureen, that's downright mawkish for you.

Despite Dowd's labeling Obama's win a "revolution," if you read the same paper the previous day you would have been reminded that only one previous winner of the Iowa caucuses has ever gone on to win the presidency -- George Bush in 2000. And the Times' sister paper, the International Herald Tribune pointedly asks voters and the media for perspective. "Watching the campaign in cold, snowy and mostly empty Iowa, we were hoping...that this year's Iowa-New Hampshire rush to judgment will be the last...Keeping this race alive so significant numbers of Americans in more populated states can participate would begin to make up for the ludicrous spectacle of the past year, which enriched the television networks and the political consultants (some $300 million already spent) far more than it enriched the political dialogue. We hope both parties will wake up and end the undemocratic system in which the choice of a new president rests far too heavily on nonbinding votes in January by voters who don't necessarily represent the rest of the country." Crabby could not have said it better.

A year into this premature ejacu-lection, many voters still don't know what's inside the suit known as Mitt Romney; they yearn to see the robotic Hillary spill some crocodile tears, a la Oprah, as proof that she really is human; they want time to figure out if Huckabee is Bush-lite in a Barber Quintet's outfit; they wait to see if the real McCain or the panderer will please stand up. On another note, I think it's too bad for us all that Ohio Democrat Dennis Kucinich and Texas Republican Ron Paul weren't allowed to debate on Fox Sunday night. Whoever said the revolution will not be televised was right. When it happens, we'll all be watching reruns of The Simpsons..