"Hello. Me again. I’m going keep it short and sweet this time. I’m clean. I’m saving all the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes. They’re all drunk anyway. Not here. No drink here. No drink at the Emmys. No beer, not even backstage. …What’d think is gonna happen? Really that we’re all going to go mental and smack someone’s head? What! What!

There’s no one scary here really. I’ve seen people here cry when they break a fingernail. So no one's going to kick off. There’s no tough guys. There’s no Russell Crowe. He wouldn’t be seen dead here. It's TV. Or Christian Bale, same. Kiefer's got a few more hours before he gets messy as well. Mel Gibson? Come on, No, come on. I’m not going to have a go at him. He’s been through a lot. Not as much as the Jews, to be fair."

Gervais then asks, 'Who wants a beer, who wants a beer?' while waiters deliver bottles of brew a few takers in the front rows. "The Office is in syndication so those are on me." Matthew Perry is conspicuously seen waving off the offer away.

Then it's back to Gervais introducing the nominees for best director of a variety, musical or comedy event. "I hope it’s Bucky Gunts because I didn’t know you could say that on television,'' he said. Moments later, Bucky Gunts won the Emmy for his direction of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.