The Best Advice You Never Heard: Marry Someone Curious
WHY
The Best Advice You Never Heard: Marry Someone Curious
HE'S BEEN CALLED THE "hookup man," teaching men how to flirt and women how to be "irresistible." But celebrated love Dr. Paul Dobransky isn't all about the catch.
In a recent piece he wrote on his Psychology Today blog, the Chicago psychiatrist makes a compelling case for why a potential mate's curiosity is predictive of the chance of successful long-term love.
Dobransky contents that people who lack curiosity become "dispassionate, stilted lovers" who haven't the interest to inquire about your dreams and desires.
"They don't care to learn much about what makes you tick, what makes you passionate about your life's goals, or what you need to feel happy, self-determining, and growing," writes Dobransky.
Nor do they understand themselves, making them clumsy and unsatisfying lovers. Ultimately, a relationship with such a person leaves you tired, less passionate and less happy.
On the contrary, being involved with someone who will "really care about who you are, what you love and why" reliably predicts good things for the future: "This benefits your life,"’ not just in feeling loved, but in your career efforts actually being amplified…. You just know they "get it" and "get you," says Dobransky.
The take-home message?
Screen your suitors for “the gift of a curious mind” which Dobransky calls “salve for the wounds of misunderstanding, catalyst for the …necessity of compromise, and fuel for the engine that drives all relationships to last: collaboration.
Comments
Screen your suitors for “the gift of a curious mind” which Dobransky calls “salve for the wounds of misunderstanding, catalyst for the …necessity of compromise, and fuel for the engine that drives all relationships to last: collaboration.
Posted by: Christian Business Directory | February 4, 2012 08:09 PM
One more thing about the uncurious: they tend neither to understand nor to accept that aspect of you that is all about curiosity, exploration, growth, and the joy of learning new things; they don't "get" these about you, and are bored and baffled even when you are trying to learn more about them (their own likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, dreams, and inner selves). You can see the implications for a long-term relationship right there.
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July 3, 2010 11:38 PM
Dr.Dobransky is so right!
Posted by: Jackie | June 24, 2010 06:37 PM
I love this post!
But what prompted it? And where are Hoffa and Osama Bin Ladin?
Posted by: Uncle Billy Cunctator | May 6, 2010 12:56 AM