Here is what it is: a clear, watery fluid that is similar to urine in alkalinity, but distinct in the levels of its shared components.

Though definitive research on it is underwhelming, there is speculation that the fluid is stored in the urinary bladder. One study, however, consisted of a woman ingesting dye, which later showed up in her urine but not her ejaculate. Ejaculation occurs during some, but not all, G-Spot orgasms, as opposed to clitoral orgasms (the kind I usually have). The fluid is thought to come from the Skene’s glands, referred to as the "female prostate." This is fascinating to me mostly because the male prostate gland, which is accessible via da butt, is often called the "male G-Spot." These glands are located on the front of the vagina, near the urinary opening. According to the highly credible Wikipedia, "Skene's glands have highly variable anatomy, and in some extreme cases they appear to be absent entirely. If Skene's glands are the cause of female ejaculation and G-Spot orgasms, this may explain the observed absence of these phenomena in many women."

This phenomenal thing finally happened to me, after -- well -- years of trial and error. When I told her, one friend said, "Good for you! I know that's been a goal of yours for quite some time now."

So here's what went down: I was bangin' this dude. It was the second time we slept together. Because we boned the first night we met (whoops), I was insistent on not having sex because I actually kinda like him and didn't want to let the freak flag fly too soon. An absurd amount of foreplay ensued, and we both caved (not that he was resisting in the first place, come to think of it.) So, I climbed on top of him and started workin' it. All of a sudden, my thighs were soaked, his hips were soaked, his sheets were soaked.

"Wow, I'm super wet," I said.

"Yeah, keep going," he responded.

"No, like, umm, this is not normal," I replied. And then it hit me. I just ejaculated. And I couldn't stop smiling. I was elated. And then we fucked until he came.

I don’t know why it happened with this particular guy. I mean, the intellectual stimulation is there (dude graduated from Cornell), the physical attraction is there (he's gotta nice bod), and his peen is not lacking (although his Jewish upbringing prevented him from having my so-coveted UCD), but still; nothing was really that out of the ordinary. We smoked some pot beforehand, but I was smoking pot with the UCD in California nearly every time we had sex. So that wasn't it. Perhaps it is the particular length, girth, and curvature of Cornell’s glorious dick that is so compatible with my own body. I doubt I will ever know.

But I do know this: my reaction is consistent. It happened a second time, a few hours ago. We were having sex normally (guy on top, girl on top, from behind, etc.) when all of a sudden, my thighs were soaked, his hips were soaked, and my sheets featured a massive wet spot.

The bizarre thing is, I didn't come either time. I felt a marked release, sure, and -- especially after the first time -- I was grinning from ear to ear like a fool, but they definitely weren't body-quaking, holding-back-the-screams kind of orgasms. I just can’t explain it.

While researching, I learned more about female ejaculation than I realized. The debate in the current literature focuses on three threads: the existence of female ejaculation, its source(s) and composition, and its relationship to theories of female sexuality. Often the debate is also tied to the existence of the G-Spot. It has been thought that scientific denial of female ejaculation, despite several women’s subjective accounts, dismisses women's experiences and is an example of male sexologists discrediting them.

It is also possible that, since women’s sexuality still carries more taboo than men’s, any serious consideration of female ejaculation has been swept under the rug. The terminology "female prostate" and "female ejaculation" invokes images of the female as merely an imitation of the male, mapping the female body onto the male. As if, like the Galenic view, it was incomplete. By contrast, I could equally argue that the Y chromosome merely modifies a female template.

Furthermore, overemphasis on ejaculation may induce performance anxiety. While I appreciate the analytic efforts, and find these arguments interesting and valid, I am more concerned with how to make it happen.

Babeland's Alicia Guinn wrote on the topic. She suggests a few things to “teach” yourself to ejaculate.

1) Do Kegels to become as acquainted as possible with the pelvic floor muscles. Relaxing and “pushing out” these muscles will help to allow you to splooge err'where.

2) G-spot action is essential to ejaculation because it stimulates the production of ejaculate by the paraurethral glands. Find your G-Spot (and yes, I do believe it exists, and skeptics just happen to have a less sensitive G-Spot). To locate your G-Spot, first become aroused, masturbating in your usual style. This will cause the spot to swell with blood and fluid, making it easier to find. Then, put your finger up inside to find the ridged area that is on the front wall (closest to your bellybutton as opposed to your tailbone) an inch or two in. There lies the Spot, my friends. Now, it takes quite a bit of stimulation to really warm that puppy up, so be patient. Clitoral stimuation can help, but try to keep yourself from coming.

3) You may want to go pee before doing this or having sex in general, as some women become afraid of the feeling of an impending ejaculation because they think they’re about to wet the bed. Guinn also notes that G-Spot sensitivity “changes with your monthly cycle, or over a lifetime.”

The moral of the story? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. I waited years (literally) to experience this particular function, and when I least expected it, it happened. Keep the faith, friends.

Love, Avoine.

What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com