OUT OF TOUCH

Read My Lipstick: "This Is Stupid"

OH, THE LENGTHS WOMEN WILL GO TO PROVOKE FOREPLAY.

A California company sells lipstick that purportedly changes color when the wearer's feeling randy.

The Mood Swing Emotionally Activated Lip Gloss goes for $18.50 a tube and is sold with a color chart so would-be paramours can gauge the best moment to make their play. Natch.

I can't figure out who'd buy this other than girls who are really, really unsure of themselves. Or, in the alternative best case scenario, those who like to play bedroom guessing games with their beaus.

"This is the ultimate date ice-breaker," Dating Expert Lorraine Adams told the U.K.'s Sun, who acknowledges, "Using it every day could get embarrassing. Would you really want the man on the bus to know if you'e turned on?"

Read my lips: dumb.