"Choice without information isn't really choice, after all. The risks of circumcision are severely underplayed."

She also finds it ironic that while many of her clients vehemently oppose episiotomy (the process of making an incision in the perineum, which is, in layman's terms, the entrance to the vadge), they are eager and willing to circumcise their male newborns.

"What kind of welcome to the world is it to take a newborn away from his mother, disrupt his learning to nurse, hold him down, and -- with or without anesthesia -- cut off his foreskin?" Although her husband originally wanted their sons to be circumcised, neither of them are. She asks, "Why continue a tradition of welcoming babies into the world with unnecessary surgery?"

This was the reasoning behind another friend's parents' decision to not circumcise him. "They didn't want to traumatize me as an infant," he told me. But when he was 14, he decided that he wanted to say "goodbye" to his foreskin.

"All of my friends were circumcised, along with what seemed like the majority of guys," he said. "I felt like it was supposed to be done." So he was operated on by a doctor (and no, not Mr. Heugel) under local anesthetic. It took him about a month to heal. He says that jizz "clean up" is easier now, and that girls seems to prefer him circumcised. The drawback? Decreased sensitivity.

"It's always rubbing against my boxers now," he explains. "So it takes a lot more to get off."

"So it's like, calloused?" I offered. "Yeah, sort of."


Wanna hear my take?

I remember being 17 and listening to a friend talk about her harrowing experience with an un-snipped schlong. "Tried to give him a BJ," she recounted. "So much skin, I'm telling you! That shit's harder than high school." This sentiment terrified me. What if I met a guy, really liked him, whipped off his skivvies and found a flappy-foreskinned beast?

And then -- sigh -- I finally experienced it. And I'd prefer to never go back. My best friend and I call it the UCD -- the famed and much-coveted uncircumcised dick. Otherwise referred to as "weenie in a blanket," "cub scout in a sleeping bag," and "the uni-bomber," an intact peen, in my opinion, can be a downright delight.

I'll never forget the first time I touched one. The UC man's muscular arms lifted me by the waist and my legs wrapped around his torso. He was me up holding against the side of his house, the rain falling off the awning creating a backdrop behind him. We were makin' out somethin' fierce. My hand reached down behind the waistline of his jeans, into his boxers, and - gasp! - what have we here? A raging boner wrapped in the softest skin I have ever felt. I called my friend immediately when I got in my car to drive home.

"I think he's uncircumcised," I said breathlessly. "Like, the skin's real soft and loose..."
"And amazing?" she asked.

"YES," I emphatically replied.

"Yep, he's definitely uncircumcised," she confirmed, adding, "It's THE BEST."

The UCD and I eventually started banging on the reg. I touched it as often as possible, revelling in its every characteristic. (So much, in fact, I think I weirded the guy out a little.) It wasn't freakish; it wasn't difficult to handle. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even tell a difference -- visually -- when he was hard. But I could tell a difference kinesthetically, and it was fantastic.

I'd also like to add that circumcision is not a health issue. Studies such as ones done at the Mayo Clinic show that there is a slim difference in prevalence of urinary and sexually transmitted infections in circumcised versus uncircumcised men. This of course, depends WHOLLY on the man's ability to maintain a proper level of cleanliness. If you're using condoms and showering daily (or even every other day), you're going to be all right. The "hygiene" argument is an outdated crock of shit.

So in the end, I'm all about personal choice. If it's part of your religious code to circumcise, be my guest. If you have no access to a shower and plan on sticking your tallywhacker in many anonymous partners without a condom, I mean, it won't help much, but maybe consider it. But if not, why not leave the poor penis alone? It's only natural, and frankly, quite pleasurable.

What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com