Unbelievable WTFs! Celebrity Predictions For 2010
JUST SAYIN'
Unbelieve WTFs! Celebrity Predictions For 2010
YIPPEE! EVERYBODY'S BLOWING HORNS OR TOOTIN' LINES TO THE NEW YEAR! Figuratively speaking, of course. Don't be tardy for the party!
At the stroke of midnight, we'll pat ourselves on the back for being older and wiser, Tiger Woods and Michael Jackson excepted. And what a year 2009 was!
We had the Gosselins and the Glambert, the Speidi and the Tiger serving up the shock and awful.
Then Farrah and Michael, and Patrick Swayze and Billy Mays all took their exits, God rest their souls.
But surely 2010 has bigger and better things in store. That's the promise of the New Year! And so we turn to CrabbyGolightly's third annual "WTF Celebrity Predictions." Ready? Here goes:
Golf's untameable Tiger comes out of hiding, visits the Church of Oprah and confesses his temporal love for Rachel Uchitel, who with her aging uterus wastes no time producing a Cablinjewasian.
Congrats to the deserving couple!
Nicole Kidman mysteriously disappears from public. The National Enquirer discovers she’s holed up in a panic room fearful that she’ll be asked about Scientology again, thus threatening her nondisclosure agreement with ex-hubby Tom Cruise. Much, much later, the public discovers she’s had six additional children whom she’s named Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
The only and only Madonna, who loves a boy named Jesus, and whose firstborn is christened Lourdes, and who frequently wears rosary, reveals in an interview that she dumped Guy Ritchie because his name isn’t Joseph. She divined he wasn't part of God's master plan for her.
Check out 2009’s Celebrity Predictions here.
Check out 2008’s Celebrity Predictions here.
Kim Zolciak and Nene Leakes get tossed from Real Housewives of Atlanta. Not to worry! Recognizing the ladies’ attention-getting antics and firecracker tongues, the two lease their “brand” to all-girl roller derby leagues across the nation. Because there's nothing sexier than big-titted tough broads elbowing and pulling each other's hair.
Wracked with guilt, Kanye West strives to make up for dissing Taylor Swift onstage at last year's VMAs. He immerses himself in Taylor’s music and videos and Hennessy, then releases a mashup of their "Love" songs, decides it's the best video of all time and tackles Beyoncé when she goes to collect her "best" award at next year's show. Imma let you finish, Sasha, but...
Peeved that his last publicity stunt didn't garner new appearance fees, Jon Gosselin proposes marriage to Hailey Glassman who accepts. The two sign up for a reality TV go-round tentatively titled "Hate Is Enough." The show's a hit! To up the spew factor, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag make regular guest appearances.
That's all I got. But come on and tell us what do you see in your crystal balls?
Send us your celebrity predictions!
Tags: Buzz
