1) It's freakin' Tiger Woods! and

2) Do I really care what a man -- whose penis seems destined to fall off due to extreme rash -- does with his organ? Let's explore.

First off, Tiger Woods doesn't think he's black. His dad was black, but his mom is from Thailand. He even made up a word to describe his ethnicity so you don't think he's black: He's cablinasian but he just looks like a black person, not to be confused with an actual black person like myself.

I don't think the guy's completely delusional and doesn't think that, when he walks into a room, he isn't perceived as black. I've read stories where he recounts being called "nigger," a racist term reserved primarily for black people.

Tiger's dad Earl defended his son not wanting to identify as black because he grew up surrounded by whites and Asians and identifies with a lot of his mother's culture.

According to Earl, Woods never adopted Black American culture.

I don't know how that's possible when his dad's an actual black man but I digress.

Tiger Woods married a blonde Swedish woman. He's totally not into this whole "black thing," so is it any surprise that he only bags white women when philandering?

I am just a little bit surprised that this guy doesn't like variety. He didn't even try to impress any Asian or Native American with his savvy "black guy being well-endowed" jokes like the ones quoted in GQ in 1997.

Tiger rubbed the tips of his shoes together and then asked a few flirtatious women around during his photo shoot, "What's this?"

When they were unable to come up with a response, he said: "It's a black guy taking off his condom."

Now that's a little weird because I'm not sure if he's making fun of black men as a Cablinasian or including himself with the black guys trying to con the ladies. Cause after all, he's not black.

Anywho, does it matter to me if a guy cheats on his wife with a variety of women? Certainly.

It shows me that you're an open-minded, lying, cheating, scum-bag versus one trying to prove to his 18-year-old self that he really can boink the hot, head-cheerleader even though her boyfriend puts you in a locker everyday.

Tiger, the least you can do is mix it up a bit. Be an equal opportunity cheater. We live in America for goodness sake.

Shakenya Jackson boasts she is among Chicago's finest writers. She enjoys long walks in the park and dirty dishes.