And it is a power tool if I've ever encountered one.

The WCM and the Magic Wand have many similarities. They both are multi-speed, plug-in vibrators that are marketed, of course, as back massagers. (Because apparently everyone is terrified of female orgasms…sigh!) Yet, though I was dead-set on buying the Magic Wand on my trip to Chicago’s sex-haven Early to Bed, I left toting the WCM. It was more versatile, lighter, quieter, and cheaper (at only $35 for a plug-in, I couldn't resist!).

Another selling point: it comes with a smorgasbord of different detachable heads. Though some of them are clearly designed for other uses (a comb for scalp massage, a large suction-cup for the back), there are two which are perfect for…uh…my purposes. There is a little nub, perfect for direct pressure, and a triangle-shaped one for up-and-down movement, if that suits your fancy.

It also has two settings, which my super-pretty [insert euphemism here] and I have dubbed "Creamy" and "Crunchy" settings.

The first -- "Creamy" -- is a smooth, even-keel vibration. But it does NOT fuck around. It has enough gusto to do the job in less than 5 minutes cold turkey, probably 45 seconds if I'm already turned on.

"Crunchy" is another story. Intensely staccato, like a raging jack-hammer. I can hardly deal with it. My [euphemism] actually went numb in the legs one day after trying to brave the territory. But if you're feeling super-saucy, or if you have three layers of fabric between you and the vibe, you're good to go. It's like riding an old roller-coaster: thrilling, but only because you don't know if you’ll make it off alive.

I vowed to myself that I would not go into the numerous and infinite reasons that every woman should own a vibrator. I didn’t want to be redundant and preach about how controlling one’s own pleasure is so liberating, educational, and fun. I didn't want to write about how much it can spice things up with a partner, how much it can offer to both individuals (yes, women and men) and couples. I didn't want to gush about the orgasms that propel your entire body into convulsions, that yank the fitted sheet from the mattress, that leave you demanding a five-minute period just to recover.

You'll just have to find out for yourself. And, if you'll excuse me, my power tool is calling my name…

Write to me, girlfriends!

Yours truly, Avoine.

What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com