IN DEEP
WONDER FULL
Chicago: Where The Wild Things Were
A CROWD PACKED THE MUSIC BOX IN CHICAGO TUESDAY NIGHT FOR A SNEAK PREVIEW OF SPIKE JONZE'S HOTLY ANTICIPATED NEW MOVIE, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE.
Audience members laughed, they sighed, they applauded wildly -- and that was all before watching the film.
That's because the special showing was a fundraiser for 826 Chicago, a literacy nonprofit founded by wonderboy Dave Eggers, who was there in person to thank supporters. Last year alone, 826 provided free tutoring, writing programs to more than 4,300 Chicago public school students.
"It means a lot at this juncture when we can use every penny," said Eggers, author of the New York Times' bestseller, A Hearbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius. He said the event raised enough to pay a year's rent for the building 826-Chi rents at 1331 N. Milkwaukee Avenue.
Eggers, who co-wrote the movie's script with director Jonze, also brought along a small surprise: Max Records, the Portland, Ore. boy who plays the naughty Max in the adaptation of Maurice Sendack's perfect children's book. 
Before the movie, the real Max and Eggers bantered back and forth on stage, with Eggers revealing a list of indignities (sprained ankle, nausea, dog bites, seasickness, snowball in eye, near suffocation by Wild Things, sand in iPod) the young actor endured while filming in Australia.
And there was time for a short Q & A. When asked if he was familiar with Sendack's picture book, Records said that he "was probably obsessed with it until the age of four.'' And when someone asked if he expected to continue acting, he deadpanned, "It depends on the project. If the right thing comes along." The crowd erupted in laughter.
Then it was time to see the movie, smartly written by Eggers and Jonze, and a cinematic wonder to behold.
"I like the way you destroy stuff,'' one monster tells Max after one wild romp on their island. "There's a spark to your technique." As the collective motley crew considers eating Max, another says, "I hope you don't taste as selfish as you look."
Records' creative Max winsomely captures the freedom, confusion and pain of being a tween.
And the Wild Things are the most appealing life-like monsters I've seen on the big screen; I'm ready to buy the whole plush line of them.
After the movie, it was Spike Jonze's turn to talk to the audience. He was accompanied by actress Catherine Keener who plays Max's mom in the movie. The director effusively praised Keener, with whom he worked closely on the movie. "I don’t know, we just complete each other,’’ Keener said. Was that sparks I witnessed?
Afterward, those who paid for the privilege mingled at a reception attended by Eggers, Jonze and Keener. The preview and reception was one of seven fundraising events being held around the country to support Eggers' 826National, composed of seven tutoring centers in Ann Arbor, Mich., Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco and Seattle. The program's "goal is to assist students ages six to eighteen with their writing skills, and to help teachers get their classes excited about writing."
Tickets are still available for the special fundraising previews in San Francisco (September 30th), Los Angeles (October 1st), Boston (October 5th), Ann Arbor (October 6th), Seattle (October 7th), and New York City (October 14th).
SCIENCE-TOLOGY
A 'Musical Tribute To Two Great Men of Science'
ELECTRONICA COMPOSER JOHN BOSWELL'S RECENT YOUTUBE VIDEO makes astronomer Carl Sagan even more accessible -- and Stephen Hawking less scary -- with the help of auto tune.
"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch , you must first invent the universe," begins the mashup.
This funky, far-out shit has been watched more than 320,000 times in a week.
We concur with the video's fan rotocon who wrote on YouTube, "Great job! Now do Noam Chomsky!"
September 29, 2009
ATTENTIONS DIVERTED
While Daley Chases Olympics, The City Suffers
THE DEATH OF CHICAGO TEEN DERRION ALBERT COULD NOT COME AT A MORE INOPPORTUNE TIME FOR MAYOR DALEY AND CRONIES WHO ARE OFF TO COPENHAGEN TO BRING THE 2016 OLYMPICS TO THE CITY.
That sounds cold, doesn't it? It's also the truth.
Violence among the Chicago's high schoolers has become a constant in Chicago's media. But you can read headlines all day long and still not be aggrieved in the same way that witnessing a murder on tape will unsettle you.
Derrion Albert was the sixth Chicago child to die in three weeks. There's been a lot of din on Chicago chat boards about the horror of showing this video, how rude and exploitive it is. Yet none of last school year's 36 murders of Chicago students has brought the calvary like this one.
"This isn't the first time a child has gotten killed around here, but this is the first time all of these people have come out," Marquita McAlister told a Chicago columnist.
Another constant on the boards and blogs: the question of why the city is even chasing the games when its own house is not in order.
Whole websites have sprung up to defeat the Mayor's quest for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
According to an open letter to President Obama published Monday on Gapers Block, "While funds were nowhere to be found for basic services, the Chicago 2016 Olympic bid committee, the city of Chicago and the state of Illinois lined up nearly $2 billion in taxpayer funds for the 2016 Olympics. A recent WGN/Chicago Tribune poll found that less than half of Chicagoans support the Chicago 2016 Olympic bid, and that 84 percent were opposed to using tax revenue to cover any losses incurred."
The anti-Olympic sentiment stems from ordinary citizens' lack of trust in the city's leadership. Corruption has become commonplace, and neither investigative reporting nor criminal prosecution puts the slimeballs out of office.
Personally, I don't think that you can fix the self-hatred evident on this video with $2 billion dollars. But love and attention might.
So I wonder if, rather than flying off to Copenhagen, a visit to Chicago's Southside from President Obama would help this city even more than all the Olympic gold would bring.
September 28, 2009
PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF
This Is Cool: 'MyParentsWereAwesome' on Tumblr
DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
Your parents were awesome before you were phat.
They used to be pimped out in fros', party hats, white tuxes, square sunglasses, team captain sweaters, formal gloves, polyester, mini-shorts and love beads. Mostly before you were born.
They drank, smoked, fell down, drove fast, played hard, lived, loved, frolicked, wore too much makeup, pumped iron, traveled, kissed, dressed in drag!
Then, as creeto commented on Fark, (where YPWA was provoking even more parental flashbacks), "Your parents' lives came to a screeching halt when they had you."
We predict this latest web project by self-described "visionary" Mirza (who's also "lazy," doesn't like dogs or vegetables and who spends "way too much time thinking") will be the next breakout website to go viral and have publishers twitching.
Go now! Submit a snap today! Maybe you'll meet the cutoff before it's once again verboten to see parents as humans.
EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
Mad Men Monday: Seven Twenty Three
SILLY ME. I THOUGHT THAT NOTHING ON THIS WEEK'S EPISODE COULD POSSIBLY JOLT ME OUT the leftover cupcake and sangria haze I was in. But I was wrong, people. Very, very wrong.
Last night's episode started at the end and then worked its way back around. The first thing I saw was Peggy asleep beside an unidentified male, and I thought to myself, 'Gee, this is really starting to develop into a pattern. I hope she's learned a thing or two about protection.'
How naive I am, even after three seasons of Peggy Olsen shenanigans. But more on that later.
Since we're only treated to a few telling snippets (Peggy at a hotel with a man; Betty lazily reclining on a chaise lounge; Don waking up on the floor of a dingy motel room with unexplained facial scars), attention to detail is imperative, and I'm already at a disadvantage having drank nearly a JUG of wine earlier in the day. I promise to do my drunken best, Mad Men and Women.
To start, Betty has joined the Junior League of Ossining, and her first task is to block the building of a water tower nearby. To help with the effort, she enlists the help of Henry Francis, the creepy guy she talked to at Roger's painfully stale country club party (you know, the one where he sang in black face and his fiancée Jane got sloshed? Yeah, that's the one). More on this as it develops, but it looks like Henry has designs on Betty, and he could give two shits about the water tower.
Roger's party, poor taste and all, yields a strong business connection for Don too. Conrad Hilton was the guy at the bar, as you may recall, and now he is doggedly pursuing Don's help, much to the delight of Bert, Roger and that British guy whose name I forget. However, while the relationship between Hilton and Draper remains a man-to-man sort of deal, the lawyers (and the agency) want Don to sign a very lucrative (and very binding) three year contract.
And we all know how Don feels about contracts, especially after last season, when he was able to cock-block Duck and basically push him out. But now, Bert and Roger (especially Roger) are not so easy-going, and are really pressing Don for his cooperation.
Meanwhile, Peggy and Pete are still receiving very nice gifts from Duck, like Cuban cigars (for Pete) and an Hermes scarf (for Peggy…you know, in case you mixed up who got what).
Pete is still adamant about not jumping ship, even though he's getting treated like a hotter, steamier, smellier pile of shit with each passing day. Peggy is a little less rigid, although Pete convinces her to tell Duck to forget it. Duck tells her to return her gift in person at his hotel room (could she really NOT see where this was going?), and when she gets there, she once again refuses the opportunity, but totally sleeps with him. Hey, if someone said they wanted to take all your clothes off with their teeth and give you the time of your life, you'd probably go for it. Don't lie.
Elsewhere, Miss Farrell, Sally's teacher, mistakes Don's small talk for a come on, although, given Don’s track record…I'm just saying that even I don't believe that it's just small talk. So it's probably a good thing that she sorta nipped that in the bud. Poor Betty. No wonder she buys that fainting couch, AKA the chaise lounge. It's hard work keeping up appearances, especially when they're so picture-perfect.
Speaking of Betty, she gets an unexpected call from Roger Sterling. This sneaky motherfucker is trying to work her over by telling her about the contract in order to get Don to sign. I mean, it works and everything but not without a big dramatic fight where our dramatic dreamboat storms off and picks up two hitchhikers for kicks.
It's right here that I think if Don weren't always so drunk, he'd be a sociopath.
Anyway, let's make a long story short. Don picks up the soon-to-be-wed-to-avoid-the-draft couple and provides a motel room. Seedy shit happens in motel rooms, like getting high and getting robbed, which is precisely what happens to Don.
Upon entering work the next day, Don finds that Bert is waiting for him, contract in hand.
"Would you say I know something about you, Don?" he asks. "Then sign. After all, when it comes down to it, who's really signing this contract anyway?"
Immediately taking his meaning, Don signs, but demands that all contact with Roger cease. Damn, let's play hardball, gentlemen. It's a damn sight better than that jai-alai crap.
This is where the beginning starts to make sense, as we close out the episode with more questions than before. And this is what drives me to drink.
Miz J, who works in advertising, is a regular contributor and resident expert on all things Mad Men at Crabby Golightly. Check out her blog at Miz J
September 27, 2009
CONSPIRACY SPOILER ALERT
In The Bag? Evidence Mounts That Chicago Gets The 2016 Olympics
By Elizabeth C.I SMELL PRODUCTION! AND PREDICT ORGASMIC JOY throughout Chicago's ruling class when the official word comes down that the city has won the 2016 Summer Olympics.
Signs are suggesting that the ruler of the Western world and the Queen of all media will rendevous in Copenhagen this week. And bookies are favoring Chicago to wins the games.
The White House confirms that the President's advanced ''security'' team traveled to Denmark just about the same time that news leaked that Oprah would make the trek.
Yes, yes, we know that Mayor Daley's fingernails have been chewed down to the nubs while awaiting news of whether the games would be awarded to his fiefdom. But this is also what's known as a 'tease,' the 'cliffhanger.' And when the U.S. chief lobbyist shows up in Copenhagen to get the good word, that will be the shocking 'reveal.' It's a common tactic in daytime and reality TV.
Someone far more versed in politics commented last week that President Obama wouldn't make the trek to Europe if he was going to come home empty-handed. That would not be 'presidential,' and would only dim his golden image. And Oprah wouldn't be going if she wasn't going to have access to her hearthrob. (Note to Michelle: Watch for strategically-placed banana peels."
What's no so clear is what Chi-Town's holy trinity gets out of the games. So let's speculate.
If Chicago hosts the 2016 games, Daley gets to fill the city's coffers with licensing and construction fees, all the better to keep clout's infrastucture in place. As long as the money's coming in, Daley can afford to pay city workers higher than average wages, thus making sure playas wanting to ride the gravy train will post placards and feign support at events the Mayor backs.
It's this army of supplicants who make it possible for Daley's political appointees to keep winning elections, thereby indebting them to Richie Rich, and for whom they will forever after pay back with favorable court decisions, zoning variances and city council votes.
Oprah already lets Da Mayor entertain in her studios' screening room. Helping him land the Olympics only expands her privileges to borrow Michigan Avenue, lose less sleep over potential lawsuits alleging business and labor violations, summon FBI protection from supposed blackmailers, and generally live above the law because she trades on her hypnotized audience and the magic of TV.
But the best prize for her is getting face time with her man crush Obama, for whom she feels she single-handedly delivered to the White House.
We're less sure what President Obama gets out of the deal. Come 2016, he'll be a lame duck about to leave office. He'll already be a rich man and no doubt will become even more so once the auctioning begins for his presidential memoirs. So what does he get? Surely it can't be just cheap land or access to luxury digs in his native Hawaii? Come to think of it, he does have a history of liking cheap land. We really really like the President, but we can't forget those past alliances.
The announcement is days away. Stay tuned.
A REAL BUZZ FEED
Paranormal Activity Uses Audience To Feed The Fear
HERE'S A MARKETING PLAN: HOLD A SNEAK PREVIEW OF AN UPCOMING MOVIE, TURN ON THE CAMERAS INSIDE THE THEATER AND CAPTURE AUDIENCE REACTION TO THE HORROR HAPPENING ON SCREEN.
The embedded comment cautions, "One of the scariest movies you will ever see. Do Not See It Alone!" Oh those Hollywood types know how to create a buzz, no?
Just check out the "official" trailer for the upcoming horror movie that's being touted as this decade's Blair Witch Project and which opened nationwide yesterday to limited release.
We caution the crowd: this is a gimmick, this is only a gimmick, albeit one that works pretty well.
September 26, 2009
ALTERNATE REALITIES
Comics Ready For Their Big Screen Debuts
IT TOOK ALL OF FOUR YEARS FOR THE OBSCURE, LIMITED-EDITION comic The Surrogates to make it to the big screen. The futuristic crime drama starring Bruce Willis, based on the 2005 comic by Robert Venditti, explores the fictional future when humans use remote-controlled surrogates to avoid interacting with each other.
While Venditti has received critical acclaim, I can think of at least three other comics that deserve to make it to theaters. Here's my list in case anybody in Hollywood is reading:
•Fables by Bill Willingham is one of the most imaginative fantasy worlds I've ever read. Forced to livein exile in New York because their own worlds have been overtaken by an evil empire, the characters in Fables are forced to eternally hide their true identities.
The series follows some of the biggest names in fairy tales as they adapt to their new lives in Fabletown; The Big Bad Wolf becomes Bigby Wolf, sardonic private detective; Snow White works as the mayor's go-to administrative aide; the Count of Monte Cristo owns a fencing academy, and yada yada.
I can see the motion picture now: Guillermo del Toro directs, delivering the same creepiness and character design he gave to Pan's Labryinth. Jennifer Connelly plays the fierce "Ice Queen" opposite to Liev Schriber's Bigby Wolf. Rachel McAdams is the Beauty to WWE's Beast Triple H, Kristen Stewart is rebellious Rose Red, Bradley Cooper is the womanizing Prince Charming, and maybe Paul Rudd sits in a corner playing Jack Horner. It would be a record-breaker at the box office!
•Top Ten by Alan Moore takes place in a futuristic world where everyone has at least one super power and it's up to the Top Ten police force to keep crime down. This comic would make a great futuristic buddy-cop flick. Get the writers of other great crime movies like Heat, add in some comic stylings of Beverly Hills Cop and have it all overseen by Moore himself.
Imagine the talent you could get for the movie -- Sam Elliot as Duane Bodine, the techno-cowboy, Michel Clark Duncan as King Peacock, Ron Pearlman as Smax. Throw Blake Lively in as rookie Robyn Slinger (also as some eye candy), and top it off with Dick Van Dyke as Captain Traynor. Film it all on a green screen in the style of 300 and Watchmen. Hell, if he can keep the slow motion to a minimum, Zak Snyder can direct it.
Runaways: Imagine you're a normal kid living in Los Angeles. Your parents invite a group of other families over for a yearly get together. While you're all hanging, you discover that your parents and their friends are super villains. That's the plot of Marvel Comics’ Runaways, in which the kids ultimately rebel against their moms and dads and discover their own super abilities.
With Disney's recent acquisition of Marvel, there's plenty of star options to play the groups' young cast: Ashley Tisdale as the solar-powered alien Karolina, Brenda Song as the gothic witch Nico, Allisyn Ashley Arm as the 11-year-old mutant Molly, and Jason Molley as Chase -- the only nonpowered member of the team. Of course, you'd have to remove all the series' dark overtones: the lesbianism, the character deaths, the children living in abandoned building forced to steal to eat. Other than that, it could make a great kids movie!
Hollywood, what are you waiting for?
Marc Sakol understands the kindness in strangers, which is why he abandons hope of actually getting to know people. He spends his time falling head first into video games, watching every movie ever made and writing for his blog Sarcasm Not Included.
September 25, 2009
WITNESS TO CO-OPTING
White People's Version Of "The Best Video Of All Time!" So What Would Kanye Say?
WHO CAN LOOK AWAY FROM HER LIQUID GREEN EYES.
Who can resist the female half of Pomplamoose as she fuses hip hop with vanilla while singing Beyoncé's Single Ladies.
Pomplamoose is the musical marriage of Californians and certifiable YouTube stars Nataly Dawn and Jack Conte, who describe themselves simply as a "one-woman-one-man band" on Twitter. The duo has become such a web sensation that they've been hired to do web commercials, and their "videosongs" are now available on iTunes.
Oh yes their music is playable and much more suitable to piping into coffee shops, dorm rooms and downtown hipster parties than Mrs. JZ's feet-stomping version. We'll take both.
DREAMS DO COME TRUE
Don't Be Tardy For The Trouble: Kim's Got A Single & NeNe's Gonna Be Angrrrry
LOOKS LIKE Kim Zolciak is the breakout star of Real Housewives of Atlanta! At least, for this season.
Kim's new one-hit wonder is (Don't Be) Tardy For The Party and I have to admit it's as contagious as a veneral disease.
After bombing in the studio last season, I'm surprised girlfriend is still determined to be a singing sensation. Fellow housewife and real singer Kandi was one of the producers and it's really due to her that the number's on YouTube and iTunes.
I saw Kim sing the hook after an agonizing anxiety attack that left her crying on the couch. She amazed herself just doing that. I'm not sure if that's her on the rest of the lyrics or not. With Auto tune, who the hell can tell. It's just… a voice singing a catchy tune.
You know drama's on the menu 'cause NeNe Leakes was supposed to sing on the song as well. But after Kim got the courage to do her hooks she pretty much said, "Ahh, I don't think we need her." Uh-oh, NeNe's gonna be angrrry!
I'm also sure she's pissed with Kim's collaboration and close friendship with Kandi; her bloody fall at the "alter ego" portraits party, and now girlfriend's got a record out!
NeNe, now you in danger, girl. Of being outplayed.
Let's talk about Miss NeNe for a minute. She's gotten increasingly, uh, bougie this season.
Has that new short cut gone to her head? And calling Kandi ghetto? One thing I do know is that Kandi's hair is fierce, while NeNe's weave sometimes has a small crown of dark hair showing.
Roots? A yarmulke? What is that?
I don't think none of these sisters, or Kim, come from money. If they did they wouldn't be on this show. They are the nouveau riche, and NeNe is proof.
Please, NeNe, leave that role to Sheree. Whose fashion show is greatly awaited.
Don't be tardy for the party!
SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes frequently on TV, America's favorite snack food.
September 24, 2009
COMPETING WITH KNIVES
Top Chef Deconstructed
THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OPENS WITH ROBIN GLOATING HOW AWESOME SHE IS, meanwhile the rest of the chefs are bitter that she's still there and Mattin was sent home. They wear jaunty scarves in his memory!
For the Quickfire Challenge, guest judge Michelle Bernstein decides who has the best "duo" dish that best represents the chef's angel and devil side. Suprise! The winner is Robin! Her two dishes represented her time battling cancer.
For her angel/healthy side she made an arugula, apple and fennel salad, and for her devil side she makes a cardamom apple ginger crisp.
The rest of the chefs want to stab her with a fork, but Michelle Bernstein thinks she's earned her place in the kitchen.
For the Elimination Challenge, guest magicians Penn and Teller judge the chefs' deconstruction of a classic dish. Whah, I thought chefs were creators, not destroyers? No wonder I don't cook.
The chefs not only have to make great dishes and impress all the judges but an added judge, Toby Young, the Simon Cowell of food criticism, will be included at the dinner.
And Kevin wins with his his deconstructed chicken mole- chicken croquette, Mexican coffee fig jam, pumpkin seed romesco.
Ron, Laurine, and Ash's dishes were chosen as the worst dishes.
The chefs pleaded their cases but it was his lack of knowledge on deconstructing a paella that sends Ron packing his knives.
That leaves Robin remaining to be culled from the competition.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!
SEXUAL HEALING
Revolting Yes, But MacKenzie Phillips' Lurid Confession Frees Her From Shame
A COLLECTIVE GAG GURGLED ACROSS THE WEB TODAY AS READERS REACTED to MacKenzie Phillips' revelation that she had sex for 10 years with her father, John Phillips of the Mamas & the Papas.
The news provoked widespread jeers and sneers.
"If she could keep it a secret for 30 years,'' someone named Jill wrote on EW.com, "she could keep it for another 30."
"Phillips had an alleged long-term consensual sexual relationship with her father AS AN ADULT, which makes her just as screwed up as he was,'' spewed someone writing as TK. "There is a vast difference between therapeutically airing harmful secrets versus indiscriminately vomiting this distastefulness into yet another "tell all" book.
But an empathetic Jeff commented, "How long would your personal problems last if you were molested by your own father? This latest problem seems to explain the others. Check to see if you left your humanity under the sofa, when you get home tonight."
Oprah took a lot of heat for airing the vile claims the same day the book Phillips' new book was released. But to Catholics, fans of Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment and psychologists, the public confession is more understandable.
The "need to reveal embarrassing and disturbing secrets might be expected to exist in direct proportion to the importance that the experience …
has for the speaker or writer's personality as a whole,'' wrote E.J. Brill in is 1975 book, The Psychology of Confession. "This need finds expression in two ways: either in personal confidences to a trusted friend or as a written description.
"In the latter case, the memories involved have perhaps left the writer no peace until he got them out of his system." He goes on to say that confesson's catharsis is "the genesis of all literary confessions since
Saint Augustine's Confessions.
MacKenzie's half sister Chynna reveals that is just how she found out about the allegations. In an online interview, she recalled her sister calling her in 1997 and saying, "'I don't know why, but I just really felt the need to call you and tell you something that I think you need to know. And she went on to tell me that she had had an incestuous relationship with our dad for about 10 years."
The revelation depressed her "but I knew it was true. I mean, who in their right mind would make such a claim if it wasn't true?"
I've seen the healing affects of confession while personally working at Oprah's talk shop. Guests who had just confessed to everything from poor judgment to felonies would be buoyant afterward. And while I agree there's something unseemly about going on national TV to confess "my husband's not my daddy's baby" to "I slept with my father on my wedding's eve," both shrinks and talk show producers can attest that confession is good for the soul.
In Crime and Punishment, when Raskolnikov confesses his crime to to Sofia, he cries out, "I murdered myself, not her! I crushed myself once for all, for ever." Through confession of terrible events, the guilty seek absolution.
As Brill wrote in his book, the shame of dark secrets "induce[s] a psychic pressure which can create worry and depression. The pressure, as if by its own forces, impels release ; the process may take the form of a powerful need to make disclosures, to speak openly about oppressive secrets."
So while we all gag at MacKenzie's news, know too that by revealing the ugly truth she sets herself free.
September 23, 2009
ROAR
And Where Was Courtney Cox? A Missed Opportunity At The Cougar Convention
BUZZFEEDERS HAD A FIELD DAY THIS WEEK FEASTING ON CUD FROM THE FIRST OFFICIAL NATIONAL SINGLE COUGARS CONVENTION.
Mature ladies on the prowl recently met in Palo Alto, Ca., to celebrate their hunt for fresh, young meat. And isn't it funny that the group specifies 'single' in the name? Wouldn't want any Ashley Madison types showing up, now would we?
Al Gore's awesome website Current sent a correspondent to cover the proceedings and, frankly, we think he blurred the line between "objective bystander" and "reporter." Which we wouldn't have any other way.
What crosses our mind though: where was Courtney Cox? We think ABC missed the most awesome chance to reach the core audience of its new show Cougar Town, which premiers tonight at 9:30 tonight Eastern.
For the record, even if we never watch the show, the show's promos are worth viewing. Welcome back, Courtney!
A LIVING LIE
Elizabeth Edwards' Resistance To Truth Makes Her Saddest Figure In Sordid Love Triangle
IT'S PERHAPS MERE DAYS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE CONFESSION SPILLS FORTH: FORMER NORTH CAROLINA SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS HAS A LOVE CHILD.
The announcement will be the final confirmation that Edwards' is a pathological liar, Rielle Hunter is an opportunist and Elizabeth Edwards has compounded her personal tragedy by avoiding the truth. No one emerges from this sordid political drama unscathed.
The truth has been a long time coming. It was in 2006 that Edwards claims to have dallied with Hunter. It's been two years ago since the National Enquirer first reported Edwards was having an affair; 14 months since that tab cornered him inside a Los Angeles hotel where he was rendevousing with Hunter, and one year since he he admitted to repeatedly lying about the affair.
Now comes word that Edwards' friend who initially claimed to father Hunter's daughter is scouting a book deal about Edward's liaison and subsequent coverup.
The New York Times reported over the weekend that former campaign aide Andrew Young tattles that Edwards' promised Hunter he would marry her after Elizabeth died and have The Dave Edwards Band play at the wedding. Mrs. Edwards has been diagnosed with untreatable breast cancer.
But Hunter, mom to 19-month-old Frances, now knows that she has and always will play second fiddle to the first and only Mrs. Edward.
In an ABC interview during which Edwards admitted to the affair, he said, "I'm in love with one woman. I've been in love with one woman for 31 years. And she is the finest human being I have ever known."
In the same interview, Edwards' memory was hazy about the Enquirer's photograph that showed him holding baby Frances.
"Are you saying you don't remember holding that child of Miss Hunter?," Bob Woodruff asked him. "I'm saying you asked me about that photograph. I don't know anything about that photograph, I don't know who that baby is. I don't know if the picture has been altered, manufactured, if it's a picture of me taken some other time, holding another baby…I have no idea. I was not at this meeting holding a child for my photograph to be taken I can tell you that."
Having your lover deny both you love and your love child surely felt like a public fist to the stomach for Hunter, who engaged in the tryst with the full knowledge that Edwards was a married man.
For Edwards', the admission of the affair was the necessary surrender of all his political capital and reputation. Admitting now that the baby is his own cements his own Phyrric confession.
But in the year since her husband's tomfoolery has been outed, Elizabeth has steadfastly refused a public accounting of baby Frances' paternity.
"I've seen a picture of the baby," Mrs. Edwards told Oprah Winfrey last May. "I have no idea [if John is her father.] It doesn't look like my children, but I don't have any idea." Then just last month, she said on Larry King Live that she expect paternity to be resolved "at some point.
"And I hope for the -- for the sake of, of this child --- that it happens, you know, in a quiet way."
And in the Times weekend story, unnamed sources say Elizabeth "has yet to be brought around” to the idea of her husband claiming paternity.
It makes sense that Elizabeth would resent coming face to face with the truth of her husband's betrayal. But her refusal to come to terms with the living evidence makes her a willing victim and turns tragedy into farce.
September 21, 2009
UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES
Mad Men Recap: Don & Joan's Dreams Get Deferred, Derailed
TODAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY, SO I'm considering tonight's episode -- and its extra four minutes of debauchery -- a personal gift from Mr. Weiner, who was collecting his own presents over at the Emmy Awards.
As my birthday sangria flowed freely, I watched a nearly unbelievable story unfold. "Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency" is a great title, too, considering that Don's new English boss, Guy MacKendrick, walks into Sterling Cooper all proud of himself and then doesn't walk out due to a drunken freak accident involving a tractor.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start from the beginning.
It's nearly the Fourth of July weekend, and everyone's mentally checked out until the Big Brits announce a surprise visit from the Board of Directors on the Third of July, an unofficial American holiday. Presentations, meetings and other snooze fests will be happening. Bert Cooper offers his opinion to Don that the Board is impressed with Don's work and may offer him a dual position in NYC and London. Naturally, his dreams of tea and crumpets are dashed when Guy MacKendrick is brought in as Don's new boss. It begins to sink in with our SC crowd, especially Roger Sterling (who is completely excluded from all these great new plans), that the Brits have taken over.
At the Drapers' suburban Shangri-La, Sally is not taking well to the new addition to the family. Betty tries super hard to change that…if by "super hard" I mean "buys her a Barbie doll and says that fairies helped Baby Gene pick it out for her." OH BETTY. How about dropping the ice queen routine and hugging this poor little girl? It's funny; Betty tells Don that Sally should "get over it," meaning the death of Grandpa Gene. But Betty is clearly still holding on to his memory herself. Don begins to reassure Sally and pay her more attention, which, THANK GOD.
I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.
Betty is obviously phoning in this whole Mom thing with those older two kids. She's also becoming eerily, creepily close (like Glen close -- not the actress but the neighbor kid) with the baby.
Meanwhile, Joan is gearing up to leave Sterling Cooper. She and Greg are waiting to hear the news about his residency. It turns out that Greg doesn't get that promotion they were both banking on, which means Joan has to find another job to support them through another year of residency. She keeps this information to herself, soldiering on through an impromptu farewell party at work the next day. Things are getting too sentimental for our favorite ass-kicking redhead, so one of the secretaries, drunker than anyone ought to be in public without a fine (and I *know* of what I speak), chooses to ride a newly-acquired John Deere tractor over Guy's foot and through a plate glass window. There is blood everywhere. Peggy passes out, but not Joan. She runs right over to Guy and applies a tourniquet that saves his life…but not his foot. Guy ends up disabled, and let go from Sterling Cooper. Damn, those Brits are cold.
But that ending alone made those extra four minutes totally worthwhile. And totally difficult to find time for a refill. Excuse me, there's a bottle of sangria and some leftover Red Velvet cake calling me..
Miz J, who works in advertising, is a regular contributor and resident expert on all things Mad Men at Crabby Golightly. Check out her blog at Miz J.
September 20, 2009
PLAYING DRESS UP
Style Rookie Tavi Gevinson Is Fashion's Fresh Muse
THE "IT'' GIRL OF THE MOMENT IS A SUBURBAN CHICAGO PIPSQUEAK WITH A FASHION PRECOCITY.
Since she was 12 years old, Tavi Gevinson has been musing on everything from clothes to her dad's cookies, from her sisters to snaps of herself on her blog, Style Rookie.
Novelty being integral to fashion, the prepubescent teen quickly became the new black among fashionistas, and soon her blog boasted an international following.
It wasn't long before Tavi at 13 was jetting off to London for a photo shoot, appearing on magazine covers, getting her own Wikipedia entry, and generating buzz in New York's media.
Whether she's dancing on video, or reviewing Alexander Wang's (whoever he is) showings at New York's Fashion Week, what comes through is Tavi's combination of charm and innocence.
"I wish I was a cat,'' she wrote last December. " I would have a life to fulfill my fashion dreams, one to fulfill my acting dreams, one for guitar, one for writing, one for movie directing, one for photography, one for fine arts, one for a normal life, and one for teaching.
"Because you can't go on tour with an insane band and then teach kindergarteners their ABC's.
"Also I could poop in a box."
The fashion world's obsession with Tavi and other tween bloggers like her provoked criticism in an Associated Press article last month: "To some wary adults, she's in a world where she doesn't belong,'' the article said. "Unlike a typical social network page, a blog can be seen by anyone. And at least one young fashion blogger says she's been recognized by strangers on the street -- a worrisome turn for adults worried about privacy and predators."
Of course, the most dangerous predators can be the most alluring. Fashionistas, please take good care of this creative little girl.
September 18, 2009
BEST OF THE BEST
Top Disses Of Kanye West's VMA Flakeout
IT'S ALMOST TIME TO FEEL SORRY FOR KANYE, BUT WE'RE NOT QUITE THERE YET.
We're having too much fun spoofing his on-stage grovel to hip hop's reigning queen Beyoncé at the expense of wispy, blow-on-her-and-she'll-fall-over Taylor Swift.
It's been hard for the web to aim at other moving targets since Kanye made himself the bullseye. We grew tired of trying to keep up with all the delicious snark, so we took the liberty of compiling what we think are the 10 best servings of snide. Number 10 is Kanye reminding Keyboard Cat that he wasn't the first YouTube sensation. And the countdown to number one:
9. Someone by the name of Vince Romanelli adapts Swift's You Belong To Me into a sweet slam at Kanye. As Buzzfeed's Jack Shepherd wrote, "It's the sweetest, most soft-hearted diss track I've ever heard in my life." This is as clean as snark gets while still making its point.
8. Kanye's apology sung with autotune. I'll give it an 8 because you can dance to it while dissing.
7. Yet another audio version of the Kanye's Sunday night apology written after the VMAs, this one with Kanye's Heartless video. Appropriately produced with heavy use of autotune.
6. Kanye's entry on Dickipedia details all of his embarrassing public moments on stage. Aptly says, "Kanye West’s great distinction as a public figure is his ability to sound stupid even though most of what he says is arguably correct." Splat! Dickipedia hits the target. 
5. Kanye upstages Patrick Swayze on his day of death, informing him that Michael Jackson's was the best death ever.
4.Holy Taco creates astute visual comparison of Kanye to Dustin Hoffman's Rainman savant, making a convincing argument that 'Ye, as is known, suffers from Asperger's Syndrome.
3.Kanye interrupts the President's Address to Congress provoking an outcry of loud "Boos!"
2. An entire I'mma Let You Finish website goes up on Tumblr enabling photoshoppers to edit Kanye into iconic or odd visual storylines. Proves that even the widespread meme grows tiresome after six or seven pages of it! Yet still warrants a "must visit."
1. And the number one diss comes from President Obama, who widens his base when he succinctly summed up Kanye as a jackass. Thanks ABC for the tip-off!
September 17, 2009
PASSIVE AGGRESSION
Isn't He Ironic? "The Zaz" Mocks Stars, Celebrity Itself
MEET MATT "THE ZAZ" ZALLER, SARDONIC REPORTER FOR THE NATIONAL LAMPOON, WHOSE CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS PERFECTLY MARRY POP CULTURE'S LOVE AND HATE FOR CELEBRITY.
Zaller, who calls himself a "scientific contributor to the pop culture algorithm," shows up at these media cattle calls when stars are promoting their latest movie and eschews the platitudinous interview questions.
Instead, he deliberately mispronounces their names, plays with stuffed chickens, sings marriage proposals, feigns fan lunacy, and then watches the annointed squirm.
The surprise is that his "rogue" interviews reveal more about the celebs than the fawning interviews do.
For instance, for being a comedian, Bill Mahr takes himself very seriously. Megan Fox rather put a paper bag over her head than be ignored. Justin Bartha is a jackass. After all those Bourne movies, Matt Damon knows how to play it cool before taking control. And Zooey Dechanel knows how to play.
"This is probably the best conversation I've had all day," says Zooey while promoting Yes Man! "What network…what is this interview for?"
So now we all know that Zooey really is cool in addition to being hot.
Contrast her to Justin Bartha who starts out with a impatient wink but ultimately comes off as an insufferable bully.
"Ironic T-shirt and funky glasses, what are you going to do move to the lower East Side?," asks Bartha, who stars in Hangover. Second later, he adds, "You're cooler than you think you are. No, you're actually as cool as you think you are and you try to act dorky because you think that's cool."
Leave the irony to The Zaz, Justin. Because you are obviously not in on the joke.
COMPETING WITH KNIVES
Say 'Adieu' To The French Chef: A Top Chef Recap
IT'S MIKE V.'S TURN TO REFLECT ON THE CHEFS REMAINING. HE FEELS LIKE A LOT OF TALENTED CHEFS HAVE BEEN SENT PACKING WHILE MEDIOCRE ONES LIKE ROBIN HAVE SURVIVED. And he's ever confident that he's one of the contest's best cooks.
Mattin is still fuming about being at the bottom of the French challenge last week. I'd be upset too if I were a French yet couldn't do well at French cooking. For shame!
For the Quickfire Challenge, guest judge Tim Love will decide who has the best dish using the ingredient cactus. Mike I. wins with his cactus and tuna ceviche with pipian dish. His reward is 15 grand but he gets no immunity. Tough luck, fella.
For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs have to make a high-end meal for two dozen cowboys. Their cooking stations will be at the ranch so they don't know what equipment will be available. The challenge is intended to show who can cook with the most creativity.
The chefs soon find out that the "ranch" is a campground, and the "kitchen" adds up to four 4 fire pits and a grill, some cast iron pans, and for their bathroom needs -- an outhouse. Hope somebody remembered the hand sanitizer!
And the winner is… third time winner Bryan for his roasted pork loin, corn polenta, dandelion greens and glazed rutabaga dish. Yum. I can taste it through the telly. Bryan gloats about winning more than his brother Mike V.
And for his raw ceviche, Mattin's gets told to pack his knives. Note to chefs: if Tom Colicchio spits out your food, you're probably going home.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!
KIM SEARCHES FOR PURPOSE
Mashup! Real Housewives' Borrow Well-Heeled Stylist from Tears, Shears & Beauty!
WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO, KIM ZOLCIAK, real housewife of Atlanta with no husband, decides she wants to start a wig line.
She practically says, "Gosh, who wouldn't want to look like me." Maybe she did say that. Or maybe it was just that all her girlfriends want to look like her so she assumes that means everybody.
She promptly summons someone else to do all the work. That someone turns out to be none other than Atlanta hairstylist Derek J, leading proponent of men in heels. If you don't believe me check out the new high-heeled besties. (Please God let there be a garment under that black bag). From what I've seen Derek J's daily get-up consists of tight top, loose capris and 4 inch stilettos.
I shouldn't have been surprised to see Mr. J since flamboyant characters abound in that nighttime soap. 
The Housewives themselves seem to have gotten more over the top this season. And Derek did win the Bronner Bros. International Hair Show this year. And, and synergy and all that. But I want to tell you about the show where I first saw Derek J -- Tears, Shears and Beauty! Although I promised myself I'd continue to check for it, I forgot about the second season of this real life hair show. It's nothing like the funny but campy movies Hair Show and The Big Tease, It's more like Toddlers and Tiaras. Everyone has a great passion for hair, fashion, makeup, modeling and awards.
Apparently I'm not the only one who has a difficult time finding the damn thing. It's on BET J and according to a poster at Lipstick Alley comes on Wednesdays at 8. But I just saw two half-hour episodes Monday at 8 pm and two more Tuesday at 7 pm. I think the season just began earlier this month and I caught it just in time because the season finale is next week, if I can find it. Go figure.
Another beef I have with this show is the sound quality. It varies from high to low, but is mostly too low. With my sound as high as it can go I still strain to hear. I try reading lips but some dialogue I just don't hear at all. But I do hear the music clearly. Other than those two things I really like this show and wonder if it's just me and the chicks over on the Lipstick Alley board who are watching.
T, S & B highlights the very hard work that goes into any large production. Eight contestants from the East Coast are spotlighted as they prepare for the yearly show, celebrating its 60th year in 2009.
I've been to a couple of hair shows and they can be quite the spectacle of fantasy. But finding the right models, hiring the right choreographer and getting the best seamstress and costumes consumes these stylists' entire lives in the weeks before the contest.
We also see glimpses of their private lives. A steel drum rendition of Happy Birthday at Janel’s Brooklyn salon. Boston's Tarsha playing pool with her husband. We see all business Muffen, also from Boston, as she forms partnerships with other entrepreneurs and visit one of Philly's many Asian beauty stores to choose weave hair with Naeemah.
"I'm addicted to weave," shouts her friend Mia. But it sounded to me like "I'm addicted to weed." Which woulda been another show all together.
T,S&B is hosted by fine, diamond-earring'd chocolate drop Darrin Henson. You can tell he takes care of himself. How? Because we see him announcing commercial breaks while getting a haircut or in the middle of a pedicure. Peculiar…
but not. Not for a show that's all about beauty. While Henson says stay tuned for the drama, I find there really isn't any real drama. Just young people getting together with a goal and achieving it. Can't wait to see the show.
SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes frequently on TV, America's favorite snack food.
September 16, 2009
TIME OF OUR LIVES
Patrick Swayze Succumbs To Cancer
RIP TO PATRICK SWAYZE, who died yesterday after a battle with pancreatic cancer.
You can read a full obituary of Swayze's life and death at the Los Angeles Times.
We just want to thank him for sweeping us off our feet.
September 15, 2009
INSUFFERABLE
Brats! The 'Unbearable' Lightness Of Being A Superstar
STOP THE BELLY-ACHING AND PASS THE DIAPIES. I need a bottle of powdered milk and a blankie to put these celebrities down for a nap; they need it.
Kanye West melts down again. This time it was at MTV's Video Music Awards at the expense of country singing sensation, Taylor Swift.
In a category that West couldn't even be nominated for -- Best Female Video -- he once again (a la the MTV Euro VMA's, the American Music Awards & the fabled Hurricane Katrina fundraiser) spazzed the f*ck out.
West interrupted fresh-faced Swift and stormed the stage to say: "Taylor, I'm really happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!"
Huh? You interrupted a 19-year-old's first acceptance speech at the VMAs to throw a tantrum!? You little sissy. Like singer Katy Perry Twittered, "IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN."
Perhaps, next year, MTV should offer a nod to West's offerings in the female category because his ego is apparently suffering from chronic-PMS and demanding rights to bitchiness.
Next up: Serena Williams throwing a losing match and offering to do bodily harm the line-judge who gave a bogus call in a pivotal point of the US Open.
Although Williams thought better of repeating what she said, replays indicate that Williams threatened to stuff a ball down the woman's throat. WTF? Serena, regular folks get hauled off to court for saying shit like that.
If the millions you make from being a "professional" athlete with endorsements doesn't comfort you enough to gather your composure instead running lines from the next WWE wrestling Smackdown, just give me the money and you can make an ass out of yourself for free.
Now, go to timeout and no steroids after suppertime. Don't pout with me, young lady, you did this to yourself.
Go sit in the corner with ingrate Michael Jordan gave an oddly bitter if not brutal speech following his induction into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame.
You'd think being inducted into the hall of fame, winning six championships and five MVP awards, and being the greatest player of all time (spoken like a true Chicagoan) would heal all wounds. But apparently not-so-much.
Sending a shout-out to his old coach who put another player in a varsity spot instead of Jordan, his Airness states: "I wanted to make sure you understood: You made a mistake, dude."
That "other dude" was there. While the remark was moderately funny while cruel, Jordan spent time give payback over former grievances he had with Van Gundy and a being iced out of a 1985 all-star game by players like Isaiah Thomas.
Dude, get over it. In the immortal words of Rick James, [You're] rich, bitch!" And the greatest player of all time. We kind of got that, hence the induction.
I am disappointed in you, Jordan. Now you go to timeout with that Williams girl. We kicked the West kid and his ego out like the staff at the VMA awards: he must be isolated.
Seems his ill manners are contagious. Next thing you know, you'll have kids like rap/pop, one-hit wonder, Lil Mama jumping on stage interrupting Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' performance!
Shakenya Jackson boasts she is among Chicago's finest writers. She enjoys long walks in the park and dirty dishes.
WINNERS, LOSER
Kanye Makes Taylor Cry, Lady GaGa Makes Eyes Bleed, at MTV's VMAs
THE NIGHT'S BIG WINNERS: Beyoncé, for her bootylicious hip-snapping video Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It), and the bizarre Lady GaGa, for best new artist after performing her own mock bloody death by paparazzi on stage.
The biggest loser: Kanye West, who interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for winning best female video.
"I'm sorry, but Beyoncé, had one of the best videos of all time," Kanye protested after grabbing the microphone from a stunned Swift's hands.
Kanye's arrogance set tempers flaring across the web and in the Radio City Music Hall, where the crowd booed him.
Shortly afterward, West was asked to leave, and photos caught him stone-faced, carrying a bottle of Hennessey, departing with girlfriend Amber Rose.
Kanye acted chagrinned after the show, writing on his blog, "I'm sooooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom."
He also wrote, "I'm sorry to my fans if I let you guys down!!!! I'm sorry to my friends at MTV. I will apologize to Taylor 2mrw."
Tune in 2mrw.
Meanwhile, Janet Jackson delivered a perfunctory performance during an unsentimental and effective video tribute to her brother Michael, whose larger than life image appeared on screen.
Madonna looked fierce as she delivered a eulogy in MJ's memory; but though her words were powerful, her delivery seemed practiced.
The classiest moment came when, after winning for video of the year, Beyoncé invited 17-year-old Swift back onstage to make her stolen acceptance speech.
Her hubby Jay-Z, joined by Alicia Keys capped the night with a rousing version of his ode to New York, Empire State of Mind.
Head on over to MTV.com for all the winners, and for copious coverage of the awards show.
September 13, 2009
DELIVERANCE IS DUE
Mad Men Recap: "The Fog" Obscures The Future For Don, Betty, Peggy
WE'VE COME SO FAR SINCE THE SEASON THREE OPENER WITH DON STIRRING FRIGGIN' MILK FOR 10 MINUTES.
Tonight, it was time. As in, time for the baby to arrive. And a usually suave Don is all thumbs, even though this is baby #3. Looks like the pressure is mounting since Gene's death: Sally's outbursts have devolved to bad behavior, and Betty is having trouble expressing her own grief, which has manifested itself in some very strange ways (although I'm sure that the frequent shots of Demerol the nurses are pumping into her veins aren't helping).
As Betty drifts off to Cloud Nine, Don waits in the Man Lair, aka the maternity ward waiting room. It's here that he meets a prison guard and first-timer named Dennis Hobart, and they bond over a bottle of booze and some pilfered cigarettes from the busted machine in the corner. It's this kind of camaraderie that drives me to drink, because while the women are killing themselves to deliver babies, the men are just sitting there, hapless and clueless. I'm just saying I understand, respect and appreciate the entire Women's Movement, okay? At least now they have to be with you in the delivery room, so you can hurl obscenities (and maybe even a folding chair) at them while you suffer.
And speaking of women kicking ass and taking names, our favorite copywriting superhero Peggy Olsen is trying like hell to get a raise at the new and 90% more cutthroat Sterling Cooper. Every day, there's some ridiculous meeting about paper clip usage and other assorted methods of penny pinching, so Peggy is not very likely to see a raise.
Pete Campbell is still sweating bullets over his own position, since the Admiral people took a giant fucking dook all over his idea to sell their TV sets to black people, and the agency reprimanded him for his unthinkable act. I mean, who in the hell would suggest that black people respond to well-crafted advertising, buy goods and put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else? The AUDACITY of you, Campbell, for only recognizing the color green.
So after all this, Duck's proposition to move both Pete and Peggy to rival agency Grey should have been a godsend, right? WRONG. Both kids, while strongly opposed to each other, are even more strongly opposed to the idea of a move. Well, at least at first. I mean, Peggy’s not making much to begin with, and a move could provide her with a raise…so she takes up the issue with Don, who pretty much confirms that SC won't ever give her what she wants. I'm dying to see what she decides. Maybe she'll become the female Don Draper at Grey?
Only time (and several more pilfered cigarettes and bottles of booze) will tell.
And it's time for my refill, people. I’m feeling quite parched.
Miz J, who works in advertising, is a regular contributor and resident expert on all things Mad Men at Crabby Golightly. Check out her blog at Miz J
CHEAP TRICK
Wanted: The Man Who Fathered 'August' Or 'Karen's' Head On A Stick
SOME ARE OUTRAGED AT THE PUBLICITY STUNT: A Danish beauty named Karen sends an SOS to the world in the hope of finding the father of her son, August, conceived during one serendipitious night on the town.
According to her YouTube video, Karen met up with a man vacationing in Copenhagen. The two laughed, drank, loved, conceived. Then, as she slept, the stranger slipped out of Karen's home.
She doesn't remember his name, or even what country he hails from, but he obviously made a strong impression. She shared her country's desire for hygge, slept with him and has a baby to prove it.
Or so "Karen" claims on the video, which has now been outed as an example of the lowest but most successful example of viral marketing.
Some claim the woman is really Danish actress Ditte Arnth who was hired to star in a viral campaign to promote tourism to Denmark. You know, tease those foreigners with a little anonymous sex.
You can check out Ditte's acting resume here.
Reports that the video is a fraud has provoked ugly reactions on "Karen's" fictitious website.
"What a shame Denmark must feel to have you living in Denmark,'' wrote someone posting as The Knight of Truth. "Who would want to give you a child … I hope you rot from inside and out with uterus cancer …You are despicable, your own mother are probably even hating you now. Fucking crackwhore. I wonder how many teeth you have till new-years eve. Die in hell with your cancer pussy.
And Ingibjörg wrote, "This stunt is unethical. People are sympathising with this "Karen" sending her they're best regards and good luck wishes and then they find out they have been fooled by a danish govenrment funded VISIT DENMARK… Yeah that's great PR… We will sell our grandmother if you just come and spend your money here."
Then there were the fans. "I don't see what all the fuss is about!!!,'' contended The Communicator. "This is by far one of the best, innovative and well executed viral marketing stunts, that Denmark has ever created. This is creating so much hype."
Jonas Klit Nielseon writes on Mindjumpers: "Looking at the amount of views the video has gotten on YouTube, the campaign has been a huge success. It has created a lot of awareness. But the awareness has been created under false pretences -- under a lie and it will probably end up pushing people away from whichever brand or product is behind it instead of pulling people closer like advertising is supposed to do."
We'll keep track to see what the end result is of this viral fraud.
HEAD CASE
Go Figure: Deciphering Kanye's Puzzling New 'Do'
BEHOLD: KANYE WEST'S NEW DESIGNS IN HIS DO.
Not to be outdone, West's gal-pal Amber Rose, sports her Star Trek Enterprise shades as seen on Streething.com (and coincidentally recommended for a Kanye West music video!)
One of our favorite blogs of the moment, Nerve, asked readers to write a caption for the photo. We go further and imagine several possible conversations between one of hip hop's reigning couples.
5) "I got my haircut by this up-and-comer, Daron. He cuts for Kobe, Jordan, & that guy who hosts that Let's Make a Deal gameshow, Howie, something, I heard he was a germaphobe? You know the one. I'm 96% sure he was on E at the time, but it's cool cause I'm rich and a trendsetter, so what can you really say to me?" Rose rolls eyes and silently gags, unbeknowst to Kanye who can't see through her updated, limited-edition shades.
4) "They told me they come in peace & bring Louis Vuitton so I told them, 'Hell yea, you can leave the map on my head!' Talk about exclusive!"
3) Rose: "I'm bald and I'm fierce." West: "I've got a map to India from the southern most tip of Spain on my head so now I'm fierce too." Rose: "Jackass."
2) This is your brain. This is a diagram of your brain on the outside of your head when you have too much money. Any questions?
1)"I did the damn puzzle on your head 15 times on the way over. I don't care if you're 'the Kanye West', I'm not doing it again."
Can you do better? Then submit your conversation!
Shakenya Jackson boasts she is among Chicago's finest writers. She enjoys long walks in the park and dirty dishes.
September 11, 2009
IDOL CHATTER
Ellen DeGeneres Joins American Idol; Paula Tweets Congrats
ELLEN DEGENERES TAKES Paula Abdul's not-even-cold-yet seat in the new season of American Idol.
So Randy is the homeboy, Kara is the tough chick, and Simon is the brutally honest with a side of cruel. But what does Ellen bring to the table? Comedy? Do we need someone cracking jokes instead of giving constructive criticism?
"Beyond her incredible sense of humor and love of music, she brings with her an immense warmth and compassion that is almost palpable," said Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Idol executive producer and CEO of FremantleMedia North America.
Well, I'm funny and I love music. I should be a judge too!
Paula was the heart of the group. She didn't want to hurt feelings, always verbally painting a picture of how much she adored you. But she also knew what she was talking about musically. I'm not sure if DeGeneres' record companies lawsuit will give her much street cred in the music department.
It's too early to say how this will turn out, but already Paula has given her thumbs up on the hire. "I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol,'' she Twittered. "She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!"
That seemed to be the majority consensus among the Twitterati, 55 percent of 1,246 voters who declared "it's awesome!" in a Pigeon Poll.
Only 14 percent voted the news was "horrible!," with the second largest percentage -- 24 percent -- declaring they were taking a wait-and-see attitude.
When Kara started working on Idol, no one knew what her place would be, but she has earned her spot this year. But Ellen has big shoes to fill if she wants loyal Idol fans to trust her opinions and take her seriously. Come January 2010, we'll all be the judge of that.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!
September 10, 2009
COMPETING WITH KNIVES
Anyone For "Trout With Deconstructed Bearnaise?" A Top Chef Recap
IT'S A NEW DAY AND THE CHEFS REFLECT ON what they have been through, what's ahead for them in the game.
Mike I. doesn't think he should have been on the bottom of the last challenge but he's going to outshine everyone. Robin
s nervous that the girls are getting kick off one-by-one and hopes she's not next.
For the Quickfire Challenge, guest judge Daniel Boulud will decide which chef has the best dish on making snails/escargot as the main protein. Jen says that whoever thinks snail looked good to eat must have been really f***ing hungry. For this challenge the winner will get $15K and immunity, and the loser gets an early exit! What a twist! Suddenly it's not about winning but trying not to lose.
The winner of the challenge: Kevin with his Escargot fricassee with mushrooms, brussels sprouts and candied bacon jam dish. And three in the bottom of the challenge were Jesse, Robin and Ashley. The girls get a final round before one's kicked out of the kitchen for good. The task: to make one final amuse-bouche to please the judges and win their way back into the game. After a bland tuna tartare with sorrel, gooseberries, fried quail egg and fried bread, Jesse packs her knives and goes.
Another female is gone and now it's time for the Elimination Challenge. The girls have to step it up or give up and just let the guys win.
The chefs drew knives with proteins and sauces written on them. The six chefs with the sauces must pair up with the six protein chefs to make a dish. Frenchy Mattin feels like the challenge was made just for him. But Bryan wins with a warm cured trout with deconstructed bearnaise dish.
And the losing teams are Hector and Ash and Mattin and Ashley. Oops, Mattin, I guess you're not French enough to impress judges with your oui oui French cooking.
And in the end, due to his lack of perfection when it came to cutting meat, Hector is told to pack his knives and go.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!
NEWS SNACKIN'
Scooby Doo Would Approve: Snack-Sized Vittles From The News
1969 WAS A FAR-OUT YEAR!
We tripped out at Woodstock, saw the first man on the moon, met the The Brady Bunch and adopted a pooch named Scooby Doo. As the hound's favored sidekick Shaggy would say, "ZOINKS JINKIES!
Mystery, Inc. opened its doors to business on Sept. 13, 1969 and has been chasing fake werewoves and witches through crime sprees ever since. As Freddy would say, Nice work, Scoob!
In honor of Scoob's hankering for snacks, we're delivering snackable news in bite-sized vittles today!
FIRST OFF, there is a not-to-be-missed piece from The New York Times on the riddle-wrapped-in-an enigma known as economics written by last year's Nobel prize winner Paul Krugman. Krugman makes haste of the idea that nothing -- not money, not fancy educations, not 200 years of free market experience -- is what it seems. And it will frighteningly reinforce the truth that no one can predict the future.
DESPITE ALL THE HAND-WRINGING, President Obama seems to have done no harm to America's school children when he told them Tuesday, "Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide." And the Republicans are complaining? Jeez.
The Associated Press delivers a tidy summary here of the Obama Administration's missteps on its way to implementing public health care. That adage about "good intentions" immediately comes to mind upon reading.
ON THE CELEB FRONT, George Clooney debuts his latest brunette, a delusional Jon Gosselin disses soon-to-be-ex Kate and says beau Hailey Glassman makes his heart pound. Yawn.
FINALLY, THE U.K.'s Telegraph reports on a Dutch study that concludes beautiful women befuddle men's thinking. One commenter on Asylum astutely blames it on "blood flow."
September 09, 2009
HELP IS ON THE WAY
Surviving Disaster Is An Adrenalin Rush Of What-Ifs
FOR A LONG TIME, THE SPIKE CHANNEL wasn't programmed on my bedroom TV. Spike, ugh, it's like the Lifetime for men -- all babes and explosions.
Then came the promos for Surviving Disaster (Tuesdays at 10).
A work friend mentioned that he was looking forward to it. My kid asked if I was going to watch it. I was intrigued.
I doubt if I'll ever encounter an avalanche but I do fly in planes and I work in an office building -- just three of the series' disaster scenarios. Navy SEAL and intense cutie Cade Courtley narrates the show.
"Will you be a statistic or a survivor?," he intones at the beginning. "It's your choice."
Then a bit later he says, "I'm about to save your life." I choose survivor, Cade, I choose life.
Surviving Disaster is graphic, intense and informative. And since you never really know when you might encounter any of these situations, some preparation is better than none. Who knows when what you may learn from the show really could save your life.
Take for instance, being on an airplane when it's hijacked by terrorists. Unlikely, yes. But we find out that over 20,000 flights take off a day in the U.S. and that the best way to survive a hijacking is through human ingenuity. (Is it okay to say 'duh?' here?)
The rest of the hour is screaming, mayhem and chaos as Cade tells us what to do from the time we step foot on the plane until we plummet down that ramp thingie that comes out of the side of the plane during crash landings.
Well, some of us safely exit. Two passengers are killed by the terrorists.
Things turn badly quickly. So passengers have to collude on a plan of action to subdue and restrain three bad guys and wrestle the plane back from a fourth.
Oh, did I mention that the pilot is dead and the co-pilot unconscious with some kind of awful sucking wound? Oh, and that since the plane has lost contact with air traffic control, NORAD (the North American Aerospace Defense Command) has sent F-16s to monitor the situation and possibly shoot the plane down. It just gets better, right.
Once we gain access to the cockpit someone will have to fly the 300,000 lb. plane and re-establish contact with ground control. Could I do it, could you? The passengers choose the calmest person there who jumps right in and does a pretty darn good job. The plane is on auto-pilot until close to landing. But it's full of fuel that will have to be burned off so it won't explode on a rough landing.
Surviving Disaster moves swiftly and is, full of tips from Army personnel, pilots, crash survivors and Courtley. It's one of those shows that needs commercials to break the tension. I think I could make it if Cade were right by my side.
I'll leave you with this tip. If you ever need to reach air traffic control from a plane, the frequency is 121.5. It's 911 in the air, monitored by all pilots and traffic control. It could save your life!
All that's left for me to know is: what is Spike's channel?
SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes frequently on TV, America's favorite snack food.
September 07, 2009
PASSAGES
Mad Men Recap! Taking Leave Of Senses & Places
DURING THIS WEEK'S EPISODE, I had the boozy company of a dear old friend who is not familiar with our favorite show. It was a drunken "stop, pause, rewind, explain" kind of experience. Let's rewind again.
Big changes are going down with Peggy. She's decided to move to Manhattan, away from her sister and mother. Her mom is unusually cruel about her decision, telling Peggy, "You'll get raped, you know." Oh, yeah, of course. Rape springs eternal.
Peggy posts an ad at Sterling Cooper looking for a roommate. That's mistake number one, Joan tells her later. Ken and Harry take it upon themselves to make the obligatory prank call at work. When they tell the secretary, pretending to be a potential roomie, tell Peggy: "…about the bathroom…I'll need some help with that," even I couldn't help but laugh, and I'm Peggy's biggest fan. I was happy that Joan helped her rewrite the ad, and find a real roomie who looks like real fun.
"I do have a couple of rules, though," she tells Peggy. "No sailors." My visiting friend started booing and hurling margarita salt at the screen. So we had to stop while she cooled off. "Have I become bitchy?" she asks me. "Um…well, working as a warden in a Navy prison in Germany *has* changed your attitude a smidge," I tell her. "But just a smidge." I refill her drink and switch back to the show.
Apparently, one of SC's clients, Horace Cook, Sr., has a son who is flush with trust fund money, and he wants to spend it building up an obscure sport called jai alai.
"It's going to be bigger than baseball," he tells them. I don't have a crystal ball, but I *am* from the future, and I can tell you that ain't gonna happen.
Of course, this kid is one of Pete's college buddies, and Pete pats himself on the back for bringing in a payday, but Don thinks they should run it past Mr. Cook first.
Even Mr. Cook seems skeptical about the whole thing, and is clearly regretting giving his son any money at all. "I've seen his plan -- it's gibberish." I wish rich people today had shame. Paris Hilton would never have had the level of fame that she has now if she were living in 1963. I guess some things really were better back then.
Meanwhile, when the director drops out of the ill-conceived Bye-Bye Birdie ripoff ad for Patio, Don puts Sal in charge. This is a big opportunity for Sal, and he's so excited that he's doing the mental jazz hands! right now. At home, though, things are not so exciting. His wife tries to get some action, and he just…doesn't seem interested. She presses to try and find out why, and he reveals that he hasn't been himself lately (no, not since that night with the bellhop at the hotel). He explains about the big opportunity and how this would open doors for him, since no one wants illustrations anymore. He then does the Bye-Bye Birdie number for her, and from the look on her face as he dances, she has figured out what's really wrong.
At the stately Draper residence, Sally is beginning to bond with Grandpa Gene. And naturally, that's when he up and croaks while in line at the A&P. I really thought he'd linger for a while, and I guess the Drapers did too, because this was very hard on Betty -- and Sally, who becomes hysterical and starts yelling at Don and Betty: "He was here, and now he's gone. And no one cares that he's really, really, really gone!" Betty being Betty, she tells Sally to go watch TV. I'm seeing a pattern with this poor little girl: her dad, her grandpa…everyone she attaches to leaves her. She's going to be one of those wild hippie kids that drops acid, not bombs.
Speaking of, it's about time for me to get some Alka-Seltzer and wake up my still-sleeping friend from my hideaway bed. There's a little more margarita mix left, and she's on leave until Wednesday. Hey, I'm supporting our troops. Are you?
Miz J, who works in advertising, is a regular contributor and resident expert on all things Mad Men at Crabby Golightly. Check out her blog at Miz J
OUT OF THE WOODS
Happy Labor Day Weekend! Time To Change Hats
LAST WEEKEND LEFT BEFORE OFFICIALLY IT'S "BACK TO SCHOOL" AND "PUT AWAY THE WHITES" TIME.
And if you're one stylin' bear -- the result of the artistic musings of illustrator and writer Bob Eckstein -- perhaps time to change hats.
Eckstein is an illustrator and author whose works have appeared in print's toniest titles including Fortune, The New York Times, Village Voice and Sports Illustrated to name a few. You can check out Bob's work in his book, The History of the Snowman, at Amazon and also on
the web.
And on this weekend when we honor laborers, chill.
September 04, 2009
DUST UP
Chris Brown Repents For Rihanna Rift On Larry King Live
ANCIENT MEDIA ICON LARRY KING boasts the first interview with Chris Brown since his felony assault conviction for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna during a pre-Grammy scuffle in February.
In the hour-long interview, which aired Wednesday night, Brown and his mother Joyce Hawkins served up only what they wanted to share and not what everyone wanted to know.
When asked by King in a roundabout way to tell us, the public, the fans, what the hell happened to make Brown lose control and physically assault his girlfriend, he responded with the old, privacy defense and the, "I feel like I owe it to her [Rihanna] not to talk about that" reply.
That was kind of a pansy response in light of all the YouTube footage full of apologies with Brown stating that he's "not a monster."
Brown's lawyer acted like, well, a lawyer for most of the show, swatting away some penetrating personal questions when necessary.
However the trio did spill some juice, with Brown's reflections coming through loud and clear along with the emotions of his mom.
He described the night of the attack -- which garnered Brown five years probation, six months of "community labor" and a one-year domestic-violence program -- as one he wishes "he could take back." He claimed absolute ownership for the events that took place.
Not only that, but the baby blue clad Brown, topped with a matching, polka-dotted bowtie, professed to not only still being in love with Rihanna, but to also conceive of spending a lifetime with her.
Wow.
Well, that's just not legally possible, at least for the next five years. The pair have been ordered to stay away from each other with a stern warning by the judge to keep all tomfoolery, sneaking-around and foolishness to a minimum.
Brown described the protection-order-- which prohibits the two from being near each other except for work-related issues (and even then to stay 10 yards apart) as "difficult," especially considering that the two work in the same industry.
It's probably extremely difficult when one of the parties involved admits to still loving the other and you both like to jet ski together after the incident.
Brown explained the now infamous photos of him on a jet-ski at Puffy-P.Diddy-Puff Daddy-Sean Jean Combs mansion days after the incident were of him and and Rihanna "rekindling their friendship," which sounds like celebrity-legal, jargon for "making up."
It's important to note that the jet-skiing happened prior to the judge's order to stay apart.
Rekindling or whatever aside, Brown states definitively that the pair are no longer an item. He admits that though he would be jealous should she start seeing someone else, he wishes her the best stating, "If she's happy, I'm cool."
During the interview, Brown says there were times while growing up that he would be afraid to go to bed because of the domestic violence in his home. But his mother, who was the victim of that violence, said she doesn't believe that a person will become an abuser because he has witnessed it.
Hawkins even cried, saying, "I was really hurt. I really care about her and my son."
After playing footage of Brown's appearance on the Tyra Banks' show where he speaks out against domestic violence saying it made him treat women differently, King asks Brown, "What happened?"
"I made a mistake."
Although Brown doggedly refused to answer questions about personal conversations or what exactly happened in the car, he repeatedly says that he did apologize to Rihanna and that it was "one of those nights I wish I could take back."
Brown stated that he knew he could use his celebrity status to influence and affect more people than he would picking up trash, but he didn't argue with his sentence and called it "fair."
Brown also expressed optimism for the future: "I don't think, at the end of the day, my career is over."
Shakenya Jackson boasts she is among Chicago's finest writers. She enjoys long walks in the park and dirty dishes.
September 02, 2009
COMPETING WITH KNIVES
Who Says Cooking's Woman's Work? A Top Chef Recap
TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF TOP CHEF OPENS WITH THE women reflecting on losing another team member.
Jennifer is pissy about not being in the top four of any of the challenges but she's ready to take the reins on a new day.
The night's Quickfire Challenge: The chefs have to create a dish featuring an outstanding potato dish for guest chef Mark Peel.
During some confusion, Preeti accidentally puts her asparagus in Ashely's boiling water. Ashely's snaps, "Don't put green vegetables in my water. Jesus Christ!"
Ashley boils while…boiling another pot of water. Jennifer thinks Ashely didn't react strongly enough.
Ashley has no reason to complain; she has one of the judge's favorite dish. But too bad for her, Jennifer's steamed mussels, yukon gold and blue potato with lemongrass potato sauce win the challenge.
Next up the Elimination Challenge: Preparing dinner for 300 Air Force Airmen. That's a tall order!
And, just to mix things up even more, the chefs don't know what equipment or cooking ingredients they'll have before reporting for duty.
Because the chefs must work together, they decide to break into teams of two per dish, per team.
Ron and Jesse get stuck working together because no one wants to work with the weaklings. Ouch.
The next morning the chefs learn that they have to work with canned goods and dry products. Typical military kitchen.
With small space and limited equipment, Ron and Jesse get edgy when stuck waiting to use the kettle to make their soup last.
Everyone gets their dishes done on time and serve the judges and Airmen their meals.
The winner of the challenge was Mike V. with his braised pork belly with soy-mustard sauce and peanuts dish. His brother won last week's elimination challenge and this week's his turn.
The two Mikes teamed up, but since Mike V. did the main dish, and Mike I. the salad, the latter had to join losing chefs Preeti and Laurine in the elimination.
After the judges gave Mike I. a hard time for making a subpar dish he didn't even want to do, then grilled Pretti and Laurine for making a favor-less pasta salad and just trying to "get by," in the end Preeti was told to pack her knives and go.
The girls lose another member, boosting the odds that a guy will win this season's Top Chef title.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!
CONSPIRACY THEORY ALERT
Daley & Oprah's Drunk On Power Move: Blame It On Olympic Lust
IT COULD BE ME, BUT DOESN'T 24 YEARS SEEM AN ODD NUMBER TO GO GANGBUSTERS OVER?
Doesn't 25 make more sense? To shut down a third of a mile on one of Chicago's main downtown traffic arteries? For nearly three full days? For Oprah to throw her season opener?
On the heels of a political debacle caused by Mayor Richie Rich selling the city's parking meters to a private company that quadrupled rates and issued tickets upon receiving the keys to the city?
Unless perhaps year 25 was being reserved for something even bigger, like a going away party?
But it would make sense if there was some sort of deadline looming, wouldn't it?
Put it in context of the date -- a month before the International Olympics Committee votes on which city will host the 2016 Olympics, and the timing makes sense. 
According to GameBids.com, IOC members will make that decision on October 2nd in Copenhagen.
Think of Oprah's party as an additional primer on Chicago for the IOC, which is set to release today its evaluation report on the bidding cities: Tokyo, Madrid, Rio de Janiero and Chicago. Another chance to show off to the world the people passion in this gleaming city of steel.
Because as Hartmut Zastrow, executive director of Sport+Markt told GameBids.com, "The population's passion for a sports event is the key to success."
And what better way to manipulate people passion than to put on a talk show in the city's center and invite a free-for-all.
Oh, yes, this will sway the world, bury the news that Forbes just designated Chi-Town America's "Most Stressful City" for the second year in a row.
"Crowding, poor air quality, a high 11 percent unemployment rate and free-falling home values have created a cocktail of constant worry affecting many in the Windy City,'' says Forbes.
Daley's thug approach to governing only adds to residents' stress, the sale of the city parking meters case in point. And already there's the malodorous smell of corruption surrounding land grabs for the proposed 2016 Summer Olympics. The fear of corruption and incompetence even led Chicago activists to make an unprecedented trip to Switzerland to lobby against the city. "We love the Olympics but Chicago can't handle it," activist Rhoda Whitehorse, a retired public school teacher, told the media.
We wonder how many of the people who flock downtown for the "free" party might ultimately be forced from their homes if the city wins its bid for the games.
The comments in the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times are targeting Oprah's outsized ego for the predicted paralysis in downtown Chicago. But we're betting that the real mind behind this masterplan is Daley, who's lusting badly after the Olympics. And Oprah, being a player, won't look a gifthorse in the mouth.
And if the past is prologue, then the IOC will be dazzled by O's show and completely overlook signs that even the city's activists and newspapers don't think it's worthy.
Sun-Times' columnist Rick Telander said it best:
"The City of Chicago, led by Mayor Daley and a vast and tumorous army of aldermen and bagmen and yesmen and opportunists and spineless, parasitic political-machine halfwits of forms never seen outside the roiling cesspool of governmental slop-trough greed, has proven itself unworthy of something as potentially delicious and fulfilling as the 2016 Olympic Games.
IF CATS RULED THE WORLD
Getting Catty: Vintage Mainzer Cat Postcards
BLAME IT ON THE STARS, BUT THERE'S A HEAVY DOSE OF VITRIOL IN THE AIR, SENDING OFF A STRONG STENCH OF CATTY.
Thus, there's no better excuse to introduce you to the Mainzer Dressed Cat postcards first published circa 1940s by the Mainzer Publishing Co. of Long Island.
The brightly colored postcards drawn by artist Eugen Hartung depict felines in human settings to humorous affect.
These paper treasures sell for anywhere from $4 to $15 a piece on Internet postcard websites.
Looking at them reminds me that at heart we are all just furless animals, some with the ability to claw our way to the top. And sometimes hanging out with each other is as much fun as pulling teeth.
But surely we can just as easily play nice, take in a show, learn from each other, help each other across the street, and pose like one big happy family now and then?
