My favorite piece of all the memorial coverage is InTouch Weekly's pullout centerfold with Michael Jackson on one side wearing his red, leather jacket. And a rad photo of Farrah Fawcett riding a skateboard on the other side. It's totally mint and if I had a locker I would put it up right next to my pictures of Johnny Depp. Ohmygodhe'ssodreamy.

As for the living, OK! declares that "Britney Cleans Up Her Act" with a photo spread of the singer looking more put together than we've seen in a while. There's still something inherently "down home" about Brit's style, but she doesn't look like she's getting dressed in the dark anymore.

A later photo, in US, features Brit's new brunette 'do and though it's hard to tell with those giant sunglasses covering half her face the color looks pretty good. InTouch reports that despite outward appearances Britney may be on the verge of another breakdown. According to "sources," Britney is still hearing voices and has started acting erratically again, changing clothes four times during a recent shopping spree and asking nonsensical questions like, “Is it really true unicorns aren't real?” That's definitely more of a thing you'd expect Jessica Simpson to ask.

US also has a little sidebar story about the unlikely romance blooming between Sanjaya Malakar and Holly Montag. The two met filming I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! earlier this year. The American Idol freak contestant is reportedly taking her home to meet his parents. I'm not sure if this is a ploy to get his parents off his back about his love life or a ploy to get himself a guest spot on The Hills.

Everything that isn't a tribute to Farrah or Michael has been boiled down to soundbites and photo collages.

The Enquirer has a cute little story about how the cast and crew of the Sex And The City sequel is excited about Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's new twin daughters. And everyone has a scathing quip about Jennifer Aniston's failed hookup with Bradley Cooper. What, did that last a week?

I'm sure someone will get drunk and pass out in some inconvenient place by next week's press time and we can get back to ridiculing coverage of the quick and undead.

Vegas is a gambler who always loses money on craps. She spends her time in Chicago with her husband, two cats and various artistic endeavors taking up way too much space in her house and hard drive. Visit her blog at jensaysanything.blogspot.com.