CHEAP AND TACKY

Report: American Apparel CEO Thinks Ugly Salespeople Might Be Its Problem

THE WEB'S HOME STATION FOR RIGHTEOUS SNARK GAWKER caught wind from a tipster that American Apparel CEO Dov Charney is demanding that poor-performing stores send in photos of their sales staff.

Gawker reports that "Dov" personally reviewed the photos and "if you weren't to his liking, then boy… watch out … Employees who aren't up to Dov's "look" and whose work ethic is "just ok" are being targeted and scrutinized and the minute they make small mistakes, they are being fired. But it's only because Dov wants to weed out the "ugly people."

On behalf of average looking people everywhere, we applaud Gawker for its muckraking and, ever the opportunist, would like to seize upon this moment to skewer AA retro seventies' polyester fashions.

The shit always rolls downhill, so of course "Dov" can't conceive that his boring clothing and its relatively high prices might be responsible for slow sales.

Take for instance, the above photos of T-shirts. On the left is one from AA sold in a three-pack priced at $51 -- or $17 apiece.

The photo on the right shows a similar T sold in a two-pack at Wal-mart for $6 -- or $3 apiece. Can you see much difference from the pictures? I didn't think so.

Of course, AA has other "hot" clothing circa 1975 that would be popular with the Golden Girls. There's this lovely day-into-night blue chambray pantsuit that can be worn by nurses all over our great nation. Just add a pair of crocs and you'll be ready for a day of dispensing medicine and changing bedpans!

Or how about this conversation piece: baggy turquoise sweater matched with pink tights, striped socks and black high heels. We think if we saw the most lithe beauty wearing it down Michigan Avenue it would still be more like a "point and whisper" piece, and we wouldn't be saying nice things.

The news media keeps spitting out stories about how this most severe of economic downturns has really changed our spending habits.

If good taste is finally winning out over disposable clothing, count us among the relieved.