MTV's Movie Awards Get Gizzy
IT'S STICKY IN HERE
The Stars of MTV Music Awards: Gizz And Vampires
By Crabby GolightlyBARE ASSES, GIZZ JOKES, INVITATIONS TO FART AND SWOONING OVER VAMPIRES were the stars of Sunday night's MTV music awards.
The highlights: an angel-winged Sacha Baron Cohen in character landed bare-assed in Eminem's lap, leaving him huffing and puffing and storming out of the show. And the vampire flick Twight took home five plastic popcorn awards, including one for best kiss that led actor Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart to feign a leadup to the film's kiss.
The tight, two-hour show opened with Saturday Night Live's Andy Sandberg as shit-covered slumdog who lusts after a droopy eyed vampire, strips naked for a bath with a woman only to be teleported onto the U.S.S. Enterprise and ultimately arrive in the back of Justin Timberlake's stretch limo naked. Sandberg climbs naked over Timberlake to get out of the car. "Not working!" "Not working!" shouts Timberlake in mock horror. "Your penis looks like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas," Timberlake says.
The scene set the tone for the rest of the night, with SNL's Dick In A Box, and Gizz In My Pants a running joke.
After the mock montage opened, Sandberg welcomed the audience to "the only award show that's on TV tonight!" and then laid a few ground rules.
"Rule no 1: It's cool to fart here,"' he said, singling out Leighton Meester for permission. Rule no. 2: Keep your speeches short or face getting cut off by the keyboard cat.
He then flirted with Megan Fox asking if she wanted to leave with him. No? "Alright, you're ugly,'' he said to LOL from the audience.
The show's producers quickly got hottest of the hotties on stage, having Anna Faris and Chris Pine deliver the breakthrough performance award to Ashley Tinsdale for High School Musical 3.
Next? More hotties, delivered in the form of a Transformers trailer selling sultry Megan Fox and Shia LeBouf.
Then the 90s' rap powerhouse Eminem, performed songs from his latest release Relapse. While it was nice to see him back, he lacked the rage that fueled his past performances but that also turned him into an easy target to provoke.
And who better to perform that task than Sacha Baron Cohen flying overhead the audience and landing bare-assed on the rapper's lap. "Are you fucking serious!" shouted Em, who stormed out, leaving a bewildered Zac Effron to say "that was really weird" while collecting his popcorn for best male performance in HSM 3.
The joke on Em was the night's most bizarre moment, and left some wondering if he was in on the gag. If not, Em should take consolation that Justin Timiberlake also had to extricate himself from legs and a naked Sandberg at the top of the show.
Leann Rimes, Chris Isaak and Oscar winner Forest Whitaker belted out lyrics from Gizz In My Pants and Dick In A Box with earnest seriousness.
Sandberg, along with Will Ferrell and J.J. Abrams also turned in a short about how "cool guys don't look at explosions.
Ben Stiller collected the MTV generation award, presented during a mini roast delivered by Kieffer Sutherland, Zac Effron and Triumph the Insult Dog .
For a full list of winners visit here.
Tags: Television
