IRONY

Oprah Reveals That Lies Get "Bigger and Bigger"

By Crabby Golightly

IN WHAT SURELY IS ONE OF THE MOST CLASSIC FREUDIAN SLIPS OF ALL TIMES, Oprah Winfrey released a statement yesterday saying she was "very disappointed'' that Herman Rosenblat's faux Holocaust memoir was really just about an angel in his imagination.

But here's the kicker, here's the funny part: Oprah follows up by saying, "That's what happens with lies. They get bigger and bigger and bigger."

Crabby just about lost her breath with the truthfulness of Oprah's statement, because it is clear, at least to me, that she is subconsciously talking about herself and not Mr. Rosenblat.

Scandals are popping up all over the place against Saint Oprah: the headmistress of her South African school sues for slander; ex-lover Randolph Cook pushes his book revealing a sex-and-drug-fueled affair with the Media Maven 10 years after she admitted to one; a man accused of attempting to extort Oprah files a $180 million lawsuit claiming she made false statements about him that led to his arrest by the FBI; mom Vernita gets sued for not paying a clothier, then has the audacity to countersue the company because it was legally bound not to extend her credit.

Cook, the ex-lover who's dying of esophageal cancer, says "Americans have placed Oprah on a pedestal that has been seemingly invincible until now." Well, she's not been knocked down yet, Mr. Cook, and good luck trying.

Is it a coincidence that Oprah has ballooned as these revelations have hit the news pages? Don't think so.

And neither, apparently, does Oprah's subconscious.