BRITNEY'S CARNY

Yo Ex-Fed, Tell It To The Judge

By Miz J

Thankfully, Kevin Federline didn’t try his fly-rhyming style as he rapped to People about his divorce from Britney, the kids and his ex ’s breakdown.

Yes, Brit’s back in the saddle again, and everyone’s ready to become carnies in her Circus. Even Ex-Fed, because, after all, he counts on this meal ticket too.

"For me, I'd become more concerned with my children,’’ Kevin told People. “ Not that I ignored Britney, but my kids are always most important…I mean, we were having complications. I didn't give her an ultimatum, but I was trying to work stuff out with her, and she didn't even talk to me or anything and went behind my back and filed. [I was] completely blindsided."

“Blindsided,’’ he says. Sounds like a good name for his next album. Ignoring that Federline left his ex Shar Jackson while she was pregnant with their second child in order to procreate with Spears, let's put ourselves in Kev's leather sneaks. “Not that I ignored Britney, but…”

Can you imagine being married to someone with legions of adoring devotees? Is it even possible to have a real relationship with someone who seeks gratification on stage with the help of high-tech pyrotechnics and screaming fanatics?

Yeah. It was doomed from the start.

Add on the fact that Federline clearly felt Spears was the greener (cha-ching!) pasture. No wonder Britney slipped and slid for two years, wandering aimlessly around La La Land trying to find her religion to fill the void in her life.

Everyone uses her, even Federline, who tried unsuccessfully to jump-start a music career, although he claims money was never the issue: "My first question was, 'Am I ever going to be able to see my children?' I told (divorce lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan) that I would spend every last dime that I had to make sure that my children are okay. That's all that mattered. I didn't know how much power Britney had. That really scared me."

Yeah, Britney is omnipotent. So powerful that she got locked up in psych wards, hung with scumbag paps, and shaved her head in defiance as pop's prison closed in on her. I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Circus. I’ve already seen it, and the cost of maintaining this show is too hefty for its fragile ringleader.

Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.