HUNGRY FOR HER LOVE
Kevin Jonas Can't Hold Out, Proposes To Danielle Deleasa
THE CHASTITY RING IS OFF HIS FINGER! SORRY, GIRLS, BUT KEVIN JONAS IS LEAVING THE MARKET!
The oldest Jonas brother proposed to his girlfriend of two years, Danielle Deleasa, just hours after a concert performance in Vancouver.
He presented her with a diamond ring he designed himself. "She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row," Jonas told People. Jonas, 21 met Deleasa, 22 while vacationing in the Bahamas in 2007. She didn't know who he was, which ought to be a lesson for girls everywhere: remember, the boys want to do the chasing!
The couple celebrated the engagement with about 30 close friends and family at an L.A. pizza joint Friday night.
The Jonas brothers have pledged to wear purity rings and vowed to stay virgins until they are married. We suggest that's an impossibly high standard when you've got thousands of breathless teeny boppers pounding on your tour bus and hyperventillating at your feet in concert.
Read the full post here.
Posted July 04, 2009
TV TALK
This Week's Reality TV Stew: Unsung, Chopping Block, Beautiful People & Parking Wars
WE ALL AGREE THAT MICHAEL JACKSON WAS A MUSICAL GENIUS. But did you know that he did not invent the Moonwalk?
That dance phenomenon was first done as the Backslide by none other than Jeffrey G. Daniel of the 70's group Shalamar. Or so he claims. That little gem, along with other untold tales of certain R & B musical artists rivalries, travels, travails, money disputes and all manner of ugly turmoil totally captivate on TVOne's Unsung."
The series (Sundays, 8 p.m.) is done in a Behind The Music documentary style, with appearances by the artists themselves relating their ups and downs. I missed the Melba Moore episode but caught up with Shalamar (A Night To Remember, The Second Time Around) members Daniel, Jodie Whatley and Howard Hewitt.
I knew Jody Whatley was doing well having seen here in a few episodes of Bravo's Workout. And the other members are faring fine as well. All were upfront about their triumphs, mistakes and indiscretions.
Last week the sad tale of the real Dreamgirl, Florence Ballard was told. If you were grooving to the Supremes back then or saw the play-turned-movie Dreamgirls, you know the story. It's being repeated to this day. Girl group turned into featured singer with backups, girl with real talent pushed back for girl with the pop sound.
I'm disappointed that I missed the first season. That first season featured Phyllis Hyman, DeBarge, Donny Hathaway and The Clark Sisters. An upcoming episode will be on the short life of singer Minnie Ripperton, the mother of Saturday Night Live's Maya Rudolph and known for her 5 ½ octave range. This is a fascinating and eye-opening behind-the-scene series on the talented but somewhat lost souls of soul.
Read the full post here.
Posted July 03, 2009
LAST DANCE
Concert Promoter Releases Video of Michael Jackson Rehearsing Dance
THE VIDEO CAPTURES THE SHOWMAN STILL COMMANDING THE SPOTLIGHT WITH FLUID MOVES AND STRONG VOICE.
No one else on stage draws your attention except the thin man with the suit and black hair.
The tape of Jackson's June 23rd rehearsal at Los Angeles's Staples Center is riveting because it suggests that Michael Jackson might have been able to pull off the 50-show tour scheduled to start next month in London.
No rest yet for the dead, as the Drug Enforcement Agency joins the investigation into Jacksons' death.
The MJ show goes on, with the latest drama the impending courtroom showdown between his mother Katherine and Debbie Rowe for custody of at least two of the Jackson children.
"She is going to be pursuing custody of the children," Attorney Iris Finsilver told People. "Frankly, she won't have to fight for them. She is the children's biological mother. She loves her children."
Posted July 02, 2009
HOOKING UP
Funny Or Die's Latest Spoof: Jon Gosselin On The Prowl
JON GOSSELIN GOES TROLLING ON MATCH.COM FOR A DATE.
Poor guy. He's sitting here just begging for someone to take charge. Sadly, he doesn't realize that he's got a "type," that he's doomed to marry the same mistake twice.
Let's hope that eight "half white" babies is enough, and that he'll soon get snipped!
Wait a minute! Isn't that a great idea for an episode when Jon & Kate Plus Eight returns from hiatus? Remember, you heard it here first!
What Honduras Coup? It's 'Viva La Revolution!' Where I'm Vacationing
GREETINGS FROM HONDURAS, hot spot of the earth!
I flew to San Pedro Sula last Monday from Chicago, and boy are my arms tired! Okay, enough lame jokes, nyuk nyuk.
I traveled to Honduras -- with my mom, bro, and friend -- at a pretty turbulent time for me, personally. I was expecting a bit of peace, some scuba diving, and ample time to geek out with Joan Didion and Elizabeth Smart. Little did I know, there would be a coup. A fuckin' coup!
Though I was on the mainland (in cities such as San Pedro Sula, Copan, La Ceiba, and Sambo Creek) from last Monday to Friday, I came to Utila, a small island off the northern coast, on Saturday morning, June 27. When former president Manuel Zelaya was ousted on Sunday morning, I was safe and snug at the Mango Inn, preparing for my first underwater experience (SCUBA certifications in Utila are cheap, cheap, cheap).
The stunning island of Utila remained wholly unaffected until Monday evening. Around 8:45 that evening, I was sitting at the restaurant at the hotel, savoring my cold Salva Vida and listening to falling mangoes crashing against the tin roof above my head.
Read the full post here.
A MATCH MADE IN TVLAND
'Marsha Brady' Wanted To Be 'Mrs. Michael Jackson'
MAUREEN MCCORMICK, FOREVER TO BE KNOWN AS MARSHA BRADY, REVEALS THAT WAS COMPLETELY 'IN LOVE' WITH Michael Jackson when the two dated as children stars.
"I still am in shock,'' McCormick said of the pop star's premature death. "I still can't believe that he's gone. He was so amazing."
Famous for her role as the perfect "Marsha Brady," McCormick says she used to drive over to the "Jackson Five house" in her a chocolate brown Mercedes 220 diesel.
Read the full post here.
Posted July 01, 2009
TRADING DOWN
Brit's Latest Video 'Radar' Debuts On Web
BRIT'S NEW VIDEO FOR THE SONG RADAR HAS HIT THE WEB, and despite what you read, don't think anyone 'leaked' it beside her handlers.
It's no Circus, coming off as a video version of the 80s soap opera Dynasty. If you want to read something into it, you could guess that Brit still has a roving eye, or that she has to sneak around Daddy to get somethin' somethin'.
But it's nice to see Brit working steadily again and appearing healthy in recent pics.
THE ENDGAME BEGINS
The Lingering Question: What Will Happen To The "Jackson Three?"
MUCH LIKE HIS LIFE, MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH HAS IGNITED RUMORS AND SPECULATION ABOUT money, lifestyle and his children.
As authorities and family members searched for a will and hashed out matters of the singer's estate, online news and gossip sites reported earlier today that neither Michael nor Debbie Rowe were the biological parents of his two oldest children, Prince Michael and Paris.
An unnamed "inside source" confirmed at least part of this to Us Weekly today, telling the tabloid that Arnold Klein, Jackson's dermatologist and Rowe's former employer is actually the two oldest children's father.
Jackson's will has only recently been recovered and will be filed in court tomorrow. His mother, Katherine, has been granted temporary custody of all three kids. According to John Branca, Jackson's lawyer, the will states that the singer wanted his mother to be their guardian.
Yet despite earlier reports, Debbie's parental rights were never terminated and, based on law, she is likely to gain custody if she challenges the will. Her attorney told the Los Angeles Times that she is considering seeking custody.
Exacerbating the issue is reports that Michael had never bothered to legally adopt any of the children, leaving the surviving Jackson family wide open for a custody battle.
Read the full post here.
VARIOUS AND SORDID
Media Voraciously Feed On 'Wacko Jacko' Rumor, Gossip, Tidbits
THE MEDIA CONTINUES ITS VORACIOUS APPETITE FOR ALL THINGS MICHAEL JACKSON. To feed the beasts, news and rumors have flown fast and furiously since Wacko Jacko left this realm. Here are 10 facts and/ or rumors in summary:
1. Michael's beloved animal menagerie has been relocated over the past few years, with Tippi Hedren, star of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds and mother to Melanie Griffith, adopting Michael's two tigers.
2. A supposed autopsy report, released by England's The Sun, said that Michael's body was in "terrible shape." The paper reported that his body was covered in bruises, was bald and that there was nothing but pills in his stomach.
Two hours later,
TMZ reported that the autopsy information was fake. The LA County coroner's office released a statement saying: "The report that is being published did not come from this office. I don't know where the information came from, or who that information came from. It is not accurate. Some of it is totally false."
3. The News of the World published an alleged interview with the biological mother of Michael's two oldest children, Debbie Rowe, claiming that Michael isn't the father of her children. She has been quoted as saying: I was just the vessel. It wasn't Michael's sperm.
Read the full post here.
Posted June 29, 2009
TICK TOCK
Celebrity Deaths Got You Scared? Use These 'Death Calculators' To Figure How Much Living You've Got Left
NOTHING LIKE FOUR CELEBRITIES KICKING THE BUCKET IN A WEEK TO REMIND US ALL THAT OUR TIME IS FINITE.
Something about 'celebrity' makes us think title wearers are exempt from the regular rules of life. But when a former pinup girl dies of cancer, a prolific songster drops dead at 50, and the perpetual sidekick meets perpetuity all in the same week, well, you start looking over your shoulder for the grim reaper.
Of course we can't really know when our number will be up, but we humans are ingenious at trying. Thus, we have a host of "death calculators" from which to figure out the number of our remaining days.
There's the The Original Death Calculator Game which, according to the product description, "promotes successful aging by alerting you to lifestyle areas that require your attention… before it's too late."
We're not sure that learning your potential expiration date is enough to convince folks to stub out the ciggies, make it to the gym and skip the donuts because death is so conceptual until it's at your doorstep. But if the death of Wacko Jacko, once that sweet boy from The Jackson Five, caught you offguard and prompted a case of jitters, then this game might help motivate you to change your ways.
Don't want some game in your face all the time? Then just skip your fingers over to The Death Clock, which calculates your date of demise with only a few factors: your birthday, whether you smoke, your body mass index, and the country in which you live.
For those who believe that death can't be predicted with just a few variables, there's the more complex and time-consuming Life Expectancy Calculator devised by academics affiliated with the University of Pennsylvania. Oh, those Ivy Leaguers, they think they know the answer to everything!
Actually, though, this calculator is quite impressive, using 42 variables to calculate your time to flatline.
Then there is futurist
Peter Russell's Virtual Age clock, which has an easy user interface. Just fill in the prompts, click, and -- viola! -- you'll be delivered your end date.
You'll find two more virtual crystal balls here and here.
There are dozens of these tools for the morbid online. Just plug in "death predictor" or "life calculator" or "death calculator" into your favorite search engine and learn the date of your demise!
And one final word: Happy travels!
CELEBRITIES ARE MORTAL, TOO
Reeling From A Week Of Celebrity Deaths
The List Grows As Pitchman Billy Mays Dies Sunday
THE PROBLEM WITH THE TABLOID WEEKLIES IS THEY ARE JUST SO LAST TUESDAY'S NEWS.
WHEN THEY WENT TO PRINT LAST WEEK, FARRAH FAWCETT AND MICHAEL JACKSON were still alive, and US mag's Fashion Police were all over Michael wearing women's clothes. And all of the tabs had stories about Farrah's impending deathbed marriage to Ryan O'Neal.
Man, you've got to feel for that guy. His son's in jail and just when his longtime paramour finally agrees to marry him, she dies of rectal cancer.
And then you have to feel bad for Farrah herself because she had, what, like eight hours in the celebrity death spotlight? And then BAM out of nowhere Michael Jackson kicks it too!
Thursday was crazy. So many emotions and so many Twittered tweets.
Preceding Thursday's earth shattering news, on Tuesday, was that we lost the sidekick for all seasons when Ed McMahon died at the age of 86.
Read the full post here.
THE WEDDING SEASON
Forever Seems A Long Time When Uttering "Til Death Do Us Part"
I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT ZACH'S SISTER-IN-LAW TOLD ME after she and his brother tied the knot in Fiji last year.
"Those are some powerful words," she said as we thumbed through photos of them reciting their vows on a beach. "You don't realize it until you're there, but oh my God. That is the most serious set of words you'll ever say."
I shrugged it off. I'm a writer; every set of words seems life changing.
Recently though, as I'm being pelted with wedding after wedding, I think I'm beginning to understand.
"Until death do us part?" Shit! Goddamn! WOW.
For the most serious set of words you'll ever say, you'd think more couples would opt out of the stock option. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, blah blah blah. Until death do us part…
Alternately, at a friend's May wedding, the bride and groom said: "…for all the days of my life," which sounded far less morbid and infinitely more celebratory.
Read the full post here.
Posted June 27, 2009
SPECTACULARLY BAD
Expect Little From Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen And Go Home Satisfied
REMEMBER EPISODE ONE OF THE ORIGINAL TRANSFORMERS cartoon? It had poor animation, lousy sound, and shoddy voicework: two of the three reasons why Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is bad.
South Park's Matt Stone and Trey Parker said it best: "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?" A quick look at his Rotten Tomatoes profile shows that he currently scores a 7% (out of 100%). That's damn awful.
Read the full post here.
Posted June 26, 2009
SUSPICIOUS MINDS
JACKSON FAMILY ATTORNEY SAYS HE 'WARNED' OF MICHAEL'S 'OVERMEDICATION'
BRIAN OXMAN, A JACKSON FAMILY ATTORNEY, TOLD CBS News that he had warned family members that Michael was "overmedicated," and that he would speak out if a drug overdose was the cause of death.
"I have warned that one day Michael Jackson would wake up dead, and that I would not be silent if that was the case because of the misuse of medications,'' Oxman told Harry Smith. "I have made that statement to family members and I told them I would not be still."
Oxman then said he didn't want to "speculate" until the autopsy is complete, but that he had been suspicious of the pop star's prescription drug use for some time.
"I have warned of the use of prescription medications, and people who have enabled the use of prescription medications. If Jackson's cause of death is "as I fear, I am going to be very vocal,'' he warned.
He said that after Anna Nicole "passed away, I said one day if have this kind of a circumstance, and we too have to face this kind of tragedy, I would not be silent."
Posted June 25, 2009
KING OF POP DEAD
MICHAEL JACKSON DIES AT 50; WORLD REACTS; DRUGS MAY BE A FACTOR
AFTER HOURS OF SPECULATION, THE Los Angeles Times, NBC News and other news agencies reported that King of Pop Michael Jackon has died at the age of 50.
The LA Times said he was rushed to the hospital early this afternoon suffering what was believed to be a cardiac arrest.
Brian Oxman, a Jackson family attorney,
said he had warned family members that Michael was "overmedicated" and that he would speak out if a drug overdose proved to be the cause of death.
"I have warned that one day Michael Jackson would wake up dead, and that I would not be silent if that were the case because of the misuse of medications,'' Oxman told CBS News.
LA Fire Dept Capt. Steve Ruda told the paper that Jackson was not breathing when they arrived at his Holmby Hills home, and that EMT workers had tried to recuscitate him on the way to the hospital.
TMZ was the first to report that Jackson had passed away. News sources originally reported that Jackson was in a coma and that family members were rushing to his side.
The death of the musical legend -- hailed for his musical genius but derided for his odd behavior -- dominated news coverage Thursday afternoon.
"As someone who served as Michael Jackson's publicist during the first child molestation incident, I must confess I am not surprised by today's tragic news,"' Michael Levine told TMZ. "Michael has been on an impossibly difficult and often self-destructive journey for years. His talent was unquestionable but so too was his discomfort with the norms of the world. A human simply can not withstand this level of prolonged stress."'
Musical producer Quincy Jones, who worked with Jackson on a movie based on the Broadway production,f The Wiz, released a statement saying, "I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."
The paparazzi-owned website X17online reported that Jackson's death is being investigated as a possible drug overdose.
Here are relevant links:
TMZ broke the news about Michael's death and is the go-to source on the story.
The Los Angeles Times reports that Jackson was found in a coma.
X17online reports that Jackson's death is being investigated as a possible drug overdose.
Yahoo's The Starting Point Twitters live from outside the hospital where Jackson is taken.
Entertainment Weekly published a succinct obituary.
MSNBC has a piece on the pop star's "lasting and conflicting legacy."
Jermaine Jackson announces Michael's death at a Thursday afternoon press conference.
The Washington Post compiles quotes from notables on Michael's death.
WonderWall has celebrities' reactions to the news on Twitter.
Wikipedia has a comprehensive biography of Jackson's life.
Wikipedia's entry on The Jackson Five.
Jackson's professional milestones are so extensive that Wikipedia also has a page detailing his records and achievements.
The original Thriller video on YouTube, which as of 6:55 p.m. June 25 Central Time had been viewed 37,086,255 times.
Julien's Auctions has a five catalogue boxed collection of Jackson's belongings that were scheduled to be auctioned off last April. The auction was cancelled a week before the sale was scheduled to take place.
Michael Jackson's official website.
TIMELESS, AGELESS
Favorite 'Angel' Farrah Fawcett Succumbs to Cancer, Lives Forever On YouTube
SHE WAS THE BLONDE BOMBSHELL WHO CATAPULTED TO FAME ON CHARLIE'S ANGELS. She left after one season because the public's appetite grew larger than her paycheck from the TV show.
She was the Megan Fox of the moment -- gorgeous and dippy and flirty -- whose all-American good looks help sell as many as 12 million posters of her bedecked in a bathing suit.
Farrah, born in Texas, was barely paid attention to as an actress until she appeared in the made-for-TV movie, The Burning Bed.
Wikipedia gives a succinct summary of her life and her death today at age 62 of cancer.
"I will miss Farrah every day," former Angels' co-star Kate Jackson told People. "She was a selfless person who loved her family and friends with all her heart, and what a big heart it was."
But it's on YouTubewhere Farrah will remain forever young: alive and well and gorgeous.
Before reaching the heights of her fame in 1976, Farrah sold Noxema and Mercury Cougar and toothpaste and even her own brand of shampoo. The tagline for that one? "Something beautiful happens to your hair."
That's the blessing -- and the curse -- of pictures and video: They make it too easy to forget that eventually we all die.
SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT
MEGAN FOX SPEAKS
She Has A Mouth And She's Not Afraid To Use It
WE ARE SHOWING THIS TOTALLY GRATUITOUS VIDEO TODAY BECAUSE WE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY AND MEGAN FOX'S IN THE NEWS. And here's the bonus: You get to hear her talk!
It's shocking to hear a beautiful woman's voice when you only see her image on video and hear her through the printed word.
I remember hearing Princess Diana speak over the airwaves for the first time. I was like, oh my God, she speaks! I can't explain my very odd reaction; maybe she was supposed to stay a fairytale.
Megan's voice sounds just how you think a coquette would sound. Isn't she adorable?And she's a feminist too! She's got it all going for her.
Posted June 24, 2009
FAMILY MATTERS
Family On Four Paws
By Crabby GolightlyI HEARD A STORY IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY ABOUT THIS LITTLE GIRL WHOSE DAD BECAME PRESIDENT.
It was the day after the election. The little girl goes to school, sees a friend, and shouts, "Guess what!"
The friend thinks, duh: "Your father is the president?"
"No," the little girl exclaims, "We're getting a dog!"
Such is the importance of a pet to family: It trumps your father winning the presidency.
Once again, this fact is illustrated by an Associated Press poll that found that "half of all American pet owners consider their pets as much a part of the family as any other person in the household; another 36 percent said their pet is part of the family but not a full member."
Pet love has even budged bureaucrats: In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina the federal government changed its policy to allow pets to be evacuated from disaster areas. During that devastating hurricane, many people had refused to leave their homes because pets were not allowed along for the ride, and those who did leave them often lost them to death.
It always amazes me when the clueless say that animals don't feel. For chrissakes, don't these people have eyes? Haven't they seen the pain in abandoned dogs' eyes, read the stories about cows escaping from the slaughterhouses, seen video of the great ape moving an injured boy to safety? (And don't refute that's what the ape was doing.)
Do me a favor and stick up for the animals.
My own personal pet history? I was a precocious cat lady, collecting a menagerie while in college and keeping almost all until old age and disease took its toll. Now their ashes sit in tin urns in what I amusingly call my "gallery of dead pets." (A word from the wiser: reconsider having your first pet cremated; if you do it for one you'll feel you have to do it for them all.)
Currently there's a respectable three felines included in my immediate family. I wouldn't trade them for wealth or fame.
WHAT TO DO
Jon & Kate: They Had So Many Children They Didn't Know What To Do
By Crabby GolightlyOH, CRUEL FATE! The fairytale has turned into a nightmare.
You grant an ordinary couple their deepest wish: to create little children in their own images.
You deliver in spades, bestowing not one, not two, not three, but four, five, six, seven, EIGHT CHILDREN!
Multiply $10,867 times four, times eight and you get $347,744, the projected college costs in today's dollars for all kids at a instate public college.
That's assuming they'll make it to college, that you'll have enough formula and diapers and clothing and time to deliver them to adulthood whole.
Through some freak luck, TV producers are looking for parents of "multiples" births. You are a decently presentable couple living in small-town America, a "relatable" couple as producers like to say. You discover that they'll pay you to go on TV -- astronomical amounts that you could only dream about actually making through real work. 
The deal is inked, and every stinky diaper, every burp, every frustration is fed to the world.
Fast forward five years later and the cracks in your relationship are gaping holes. Now you're tabloid fodder and -- suprise! -- your husband is caught publicly sneaking around with a younger woman. Then some paparazzi catches you spanking a wee one, and you become the mean ugly witch in the story.
Now comes the dreaded D word and -- oh no! -- hiatus for your reality TV show. Seems it all has become a little too real for the television cameras.
Will Jon move to New York? Where will Kate live? Will they be able to keep their expensive house, the lux lifestyle, the help? And who will clothe, feed, discipline the children?
We checked the housing market in case the Gosselins are forced to downsize. Haven't they heard what happens when couples divorce?
Posted June 23, 2009
BAILING
Snif, Snif, Chirp. Twitterers React To Jon & Kate's Divorce
By Crabby GolightlyHEARTS ARE BREAKING OVER JON & KATE'S CONFIRMED SPLIT, and Twitter is where the mourners went last night seeking solace.
"Jon & Kate'' became the "trending topic" before the night was out.
Sentiments were spilling onto the site 140 characters rapidfire. In between the five hours I slept, more than 4,000 Twitterers had shared their insights in real time, and often sans punctuation and correct spelling. A sampling:
diegocan: Jon and Kate fill for divorce on national television.
cayers131: Gee, Jon & Kate, who could have imagined that putting your personal life on TV would cause problems? In other news, water is wet."
Ashley2004: Im just so UPSET about Jon and Kate!
CouponPro: @mitchenglish siding with John. After all, who could live with Kate. Too bad for the kids, but he's done his Time.
Ben_AlperOLOB: The split-up of Jon & Kate raises a very important question: Should couples stay together for the sake of the ratings?
christiemont: Jon and Kate: Easy decision. each of them gets 4 kids. Sounds simple enough to me!
pfauzia: so it's gonna be Jon MINUS Kate plus 8?? why Gosselin couple, why?? http://bit.ly/h9uua
SweetDommi: RT @davidlpatrick @cecilyjamelia Sad abt Jon & Kate. I'd be pissed if I had 8 babies.Trust that we'd stay married til the bitter END! *amen*
bassgoddess: @foxandfriends Jon & Kate show should be cancelled, but TLC is making too much money off them ..... so more misery .... don't tune in !!
JuStMeAgAiN2009: @SpacedHaitian dont hate on jon and kate. i love them and their kids are too cute. i have watched them since the beginning
mbclarkie: So funny!!! RT: I think the last episode of "Jon and Kate" should be their children eating them. (via @dpressman)
christiemont: Jon and Kate: Easy decision. each of them gets 4 kids. Sounds simple enough to me!
SaraDuane: I don't usually swear in my Twitter stream, but the actions of some people warrant it sometimes: Fuck Jon & Kate - I feel sorry for their +8
chirpme: @WillsAndSnyder Guess the Gosslin got caught up in the money, fame and notoriety. Stand by as Kate has a breakdown. Who would blame her
RuthBerry: I just cancelled my TiVo season pass for Jon & Kate + 8. So sad. I cannot watch the train wreck. Poor babies. :-(
Applefritt3r:Going to Lancaster abd feeling bad for Jon and Kate and thier 8. Media needs to stop medling. I am talking to you TMZ
thejoelstein: Call me a dreamer, but I think a ninth kid could save that marriage
g_literati: Is there any marriage/relationship that survived reality TV? Jon & Kate was no exception...
hhbarnes:So are they going to change the name of the show to "Jon OR Kate plus 8"?
hugheskevin: My generation had Carol Brady. This one has Kate Gosselin. I feel sorry for all of you
troygoldman:doesn't want to pick sides with Jon&Kate. But I will if it will get them off my television.
CatWhelan:not sure what it was but the whole time i was watching jon&kate last night i wanted to punch jon in the face
JessMily: i wonder if Dr Phil will try to stick his big nose in Jon and Kate life to get some ratings http://bit.ly/zULoj
fuggirls:You know what, Jon and Kate? You're BOTH repellent and I wish I'd never heard of you. -- H
ohmyalex:Oh, Masters of Child Exploitation, Jon and Kate, why are you on the cover of every tabloid? When did reality tv become gossip worthy?
Had enough? It goes on like this for hours!
We now know that America does indeed care about divorce, especially when it's televised.
DUMB AND DUMBER
The New York Times Uncovers Oddities Of Competing Obsessions
By Crabby GolightlyEVEN THE COLLECTIVE WIT AND WISDOM OF THE MIGHTY OKAY CATS AND KITTENS, HERE'S A QUICK RUNDOWN OF THIS WEEK'S TABLOID HEADLINES. Sorry it's not longer but I'm outta here for a few days. I travel. So what? I'm a popular girl! Read the full post here. ROCKY PATERRA, 17, OF PITTSBURGH, ARRIVED IN CHICAGO SATURDAY HOPING THAT HIS THIRD TIME AUDITIONING FOR American Idol is the charm. Read the full post here. ONE OF THE MANY THINGS THAT ACTIVATE my tear-ducts about weddings is the Dad factor. Read the full post here. AS IRAN TEETERS ON THE BRINK, IT'S FITTING TO REMEMBER THE FALL OF THE BERLIN WALL IN 1989. TALK ABOUT HOUSEWHORES OF NEW JERSEY. Read the full post here. AT LEAST THESE WORKERS WON'T BE EMBARRASSED IF THEY GET IN AN ACCIDENT ON THE JOB. COMIC LARRY DAVID TEAMS up with Woody Allen in the upcoming movie,
Whatever Works, about a misanthropic New Yorker who literally stumbles over love. AS THE DAYS COUNT DOWN TO THE MUCH BALLYHOOED JUNE 24TH RELEASE OF Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the buzz is all about sexpot Megan Fox and whether she's the next Angelina. Read the full post here. OH, BOYS AND THEIR GAMES.
But we can forgive the Gray Lady for her occasional dottiness when so much of what she does is so good. Case in point: Today's feature on two Cincinnati museums that are the result of separate but equally compelling obsessions.
First is the Vent Haven Museum, a dummy museum whose "unsettling amazement is unremitting," according to reporter Edward Rothstein.
Also, just a few miles away, is the American Sign Museum, where "about 200 are displayed, lighted and unlighted, each a compressed call for attention,'' Rothstein writes.
Together, the story and photos are sublime and evoke twinges for a "road trip."
It reminds me to be tolerant of the idiosyncrasies of our occasionally daffy elders. After all, we never really know how much longer they'll be around.
Posted June 22, 2009
BILE IN SHORT
Monday's Tabloid Trash Talk
Brit Hooks Up With Only Man Allowed Near Her! Stephanie Pratt Shares Diet Secrets! And Kirstie Alley Falls For Hostess Cupcakes
This week the National Enquirer has the un-shocking and unflattering photos of Fat Kirstie Alley. The headline says that she collapsed because of her weight but there's no collapse in the story. That doesn't make her less fat though. She is uncomfortably large, especially in comparison to her "then" photo in which she looks more like Renee Russo than even her Cheers-y glamorous self. Personally, I prefer my Kirstie Alley in Vulcan ears but that's probably just me.
So, the lady likes to eat. Big deal. Well, BIG deal is more like it. Here are the foods mentioned as some of Alley's favorites:
* Sticky buns;
* Cheesecake;
* Pan-fried noodles;
* Orange chicken;
* Fried rice;
* Potato chips;
* Hostess cupcakes.
Mmmmmh is anyone else hungry? So now she's fat AND sad, but still really funny, even at her own expense. Isn't there a role for the funny, fat friend that Queen Latifa or Frangela hasn't taken yet?
On the other end of the body issue spectrum we have Stephanie Pratt on the cover of US. She claims that being on The Hills made her bulimic. That's sorta funny because watching The Hills makes me vomit! Stars, they really are just like us!
Posted June 21, 2009
IDOL WANNABES
With Starry Eyes, Hundreds Descend On Chicago For Chance At Idol Fame
By Crabby Golightly
Paterra, accompanied by his mom and two friends, left home at 6:30 am and drove 450 miles to compete against thousands in Monday's Idol auditions at the United Center in Chicago's West Loop. "I heard it was crazy," said a security guard sweating under the hot afternoon sun outside the United Center.
Registration is open 24 hours until 5 a.m. Monday when contestants begin arriving for auditions. Many registrants were exclaiming their excitement on American Idol's comment board.
Paterra, an Upper St. Clair High School senior who soloed with composer Marvin Hamlisch as a child, hopes to break through to the second round of auditions this year. Last year he tried out at New Jersey's Meadowlands auditions, where he was asked to sing three times.
"He called another guy over to listen to me," Rocky recalled of the producer. The two exchanged whispers, then Rocky was summarily dismissed. "It was not a good moment,'' he said, confessing that it hurt to watch the last Idol auditions .
This year is different, he said.
Posted June 20, 2009
THE WEDDING SEASON
A Wedding's Real 'Best Man': The Bride's Dad
It kills me. It doesn't matter if it's my friend Christa and her ol' man Tim or just some random peeps on TV. I've been to assorted weddings of people I don't know too well, and still the Dad factor gets me err'time.
I struggle with this feeling because a part of me finds it inherently anti-feminist. But I am also somewhat of a sucker for tradition, and every fatherly gesture propels me into a blubbery mess of emotion.
Until it happened to me, I didn't value the "asking of approval" step. It's pretty bizarre when the bride is an adult and two men discuss her fate, mono y mono. Creepy!
Zach's approach, leaning toward my dad at a concert: "So, I, uh bought your daughter a big-ass engagement ring." (Can you guess his astrological sign? Yeah, Taurus.) My dad: "Is that so? When are you gonna give it to her?"
Zach, growing nervous: "Well, uh, um, well, this, uh, weekend, um, pending your, uh, approval. Sir."
Dad: "We like you. Our family likes you. Wait 'til she's graduated to get married." Score.
Another troubling tradition is "giving away" the bride. Though, I gotta say, it's soul-crushingly touching.
WHAT GOES UP, MUST COME DOWN
Friday Night Flashback: Berlin Wall Falls
By Crabby Staff
The barbed wire and concrete structure went up in 1961 and was a worldwide symbol of the tyranny imposed by the U.S.S. R. on Eastern Europe.
During the next three decades, three uprisings against the Communist dictatorship -- in East Berlin in 1953, Budapest in 1956, Prague in 1968 -- sought to topple the Soviet Union's government.
It took Mikhail Gorbachov's rise to power, aided by the internal collapse of the Soviet financial and industrial systems, to bring change in the mid-1980s. The Berlin Wall came down in 1989 after mass demonstrations forced East Germany's head of state Erich Honecker to resign.
Then, according to published reports, "at 06.53 pm on November 9, 1989 a member of the new East German government was asked at a press conference when the new East German travel law comes into force. He answered: "Well, as far as I can see, ... straightaway, immediately. Thousands of East Berliners went to the border crossings. At Bornholmer Strasse the people demanded to open the border and at 10.30 pm the border was opened there."
Some idealogues conveniently credit Ronald Reagan for the wall's demise. But doing so dismisses the will of Eastern Europeans hungry for freedom at any price, and who brought the walls "come tumbling down".
Now the world watches as another wall comes down, even if it's one that exists only in the mind.
Posted June 19, 2009
REAL TALK
Reality TV Stew: New Jersey's Housewives Goes Out With A Bang; Yes, Operation Repo Is Fake
Fuck up my dinner party, bitch, and your ass is mine. I can talk about "swallowing," sore vages and bubbie jobs but you keep your sordid skeletons in that skeletal body of yours. And Teresa is right. But Danielle still walked into the lion's den clothed in a meat thong.
Despite the obvious set-up of the table-tossing finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey, the emotions were real. Especially on the faces of Danielle's beautiful daughters.
If she learns nothing else after watching this episode I hope that it's her daughters are not her girlfriends. If she wants girlfriends go out and get some. You can ask your kids if you should wear your hair up or down but don't show them "eye-popping" photos, if your daughters' eye-popping at your modeling photos was any indication. Or promise them that your one-night-stands will still keep in touch. That's creepy.
I see box covers calling women whores everyday in my job so I really don't like to add to the situation. But…more than the "PROSTITUTION WHORE!" epitaph Teresa laid into Danielle, I'd also like to add "SELFISH ATTENTION WHORE!"
BOSS' EDICT: WEAR UNDERPANTS
Florida City To Employees: Wear Undies And Deodorant Or Else
An example of government gone batty: The city council in Brooksville has passed a dress code requiring employees to, among other things, wear underwear and apply deodorant. The dress code also forbids exposed underwear, "sexually provocative" clothing and body piercings other than on the ears.
The city council passed the measure by a vote of 4 to 1, according to the Associated Press.
The opposing vote was cast by the mayor who said that requiring underwear "takes away freedom of choice."
My question: Who's going to do the enforcing? Will the ridiculous law prompt a lawsuit, bringing new meaning to term "legal briefs?"
Posted June 18, 2009
WHATEVER
Larry David Delivers His Shtick To The Big Screen
The film's take home message? "Anyway you can, filch a little happiness."
UNDERACHIEVER
Megan Fox Gets Stupid Ugly, Proves She's No Angelina
There's the media created "war" between Fox and long-reigning vixen Jolie as the younger starlet is whispered to be Jolie's replacement in the Tomb Raider series.
There's side-by-side photographic comparisons of the two beauty A-listers.
There's even online guessing games comparing leggy red carpet styles -- all of which Fox dismisses in a recent Entertainment Weekly interview.
"Because I have tattoos and dark hair and I was in an action movie? That's as far as the similarities extend," she pooh-poohs. "I'm not the next anyone. I'm sure she has no idea who I am."
Then Megan lets her Freudian slip show by adding, "But if I were her, I'd be like, "Who the f--- is this little bulls--- brat who was in Transformers that's going to be the next me?"
MAKE-BELIEVE
Geeks Create Make-Believe World Where Megan Fox Would Be Interested In Them
By Crabby Staff
Here's one where they get to make a robotic Megan Fox even hotter than the real one.
Even more ridiculous is the assumption that one of them could win her.
Posted June 17, 2009
