POP PSYCHOLOGY
Rapping With Kanye's 'ID'
M“Mr. West is in the building. Swagger on a hundred, thousand, trillion.”
Ya’ll like that line from “Swagger Like Us”? That was mine. I told Kanye to write it and he wrote it. Hell, the line wrote itself. Let me introduce myself: I am Kanye’s swagger. I know some of ya’ll aren’t that bright so let me tell you who and what I am.
Swagger or a person’s “swag” is their very essence, their sexy. It’s the way you walk into a room and command attention. It’s a (not-so) subtle air of superiority many celebrities possess (and even the occasional nobody). Swagger is so powerful it that should damn well speak for itself and I’m gonna.
That was me in England that screamed when that paparazzo clown tried to photograph me. I pushed the camera back in that guy’s face. I did it cause it’s not Kanye they want, it’s me, the swagger. Same thing in LAX. I broke that f***king camera cause I need compensation for my photos. Swag costs, babies.
I gave ya’ll a few for free when I told ya’ll Bush doesn’t care about Black people. I interrupted those guy’s acceptance speech at the MTV Europe Music Awards and told ya’ll I should’ve won video-of-year because Pamela Anderson was in the fuckin' video. A nobody like Kanye pulling Pamela “Boob Supreme” Anderson in a music video was a swag-tastic maneuver and you imbeciles didn’t appreciate it.
I told Kanye to call himself the Louis Vuitton Don. Why? Because it makes him sound important. I told him tight pants were hot and to put on pastel. Why? Because I take risks. Hell, I even told him to use that Auto-Tunes after T-pain had used it on 4,000,000 or so top-selling singles. And what happens? Boom! Love Lockdown storms the charts, baby. I make his blog worth talking about by posting the most obnoxiously expensive items and hottest women on a planet, that without a doubt most of you commoners can’t pretend to afford and can’t afford to date.
The bottom line is this: swag makes rappers hot. Kanye ain’t nobody without me: I make you love him or hate him. I make him hot, and if you don’t see him generally making an ass out of himself from time to time, I’m not handling my business. But for right now, “swagger on a hundred-thousand-trillion.”
Shakenya Jackson is among Chicago's finest writers. (She believes in the power of swag.) She also enjoys long walks in the park and dirty dishes.Permalink
Posted November 25, 2008
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