Oprah's Big Pat-On-Her-Back
AS WE ALL KNOW, THE FUTURE FIRST LADY OF THE LINCOLN BEDROOM has a long reach, so long that she can reach around and pat herself on the back. She does it so often that her arms must be tired, what with the back-patting and carrying the world on her broad shoulders. So when the news broke that the once-and-future big 'O' would produce a show on altruism, didn't we all know that it would really depict Oprah's personal philosophy, solipsism?
Fast forward to air time when the reviews have been anything but charitable. The news agency Reuters reports that the show has "nary a single genuine giving moment" in its debut. The reviewer sums up the first hour as "a profoundly hyperkinetic and unwieldy adventure in product placement, in Oprah-as-Messiah hype and, ultimately, in what's so utterly fake and insidious about "reality" television itself." And Newsday calls it part of reality TV's trend toward "pathos on parade."
"You can watch, and feel sympathy for the real problems portrayed, and feel warmed by their being somewhat alleviated, yet still feel unsettled by their manipulation into some slick kind of strategy game,” writes Diane Werts. Strategic manipulation. Yup, that sounds like the Oprah I know.
The premise is that 10 people compete to see who can most improve the hardluck lives of their assigned charges. The contestant who's able to pull their projects farthest up the ladder gets to win -- ssshhh -- a million dollars! What the Big Give does is show prime time audiences the often simplistic thinking and materialistic motivations of Oprah's fanbase. Wheeee! We get to get free stuff, if we just love Oprah enough. That lesson has not been lost on name brand manufacturers, who donate anything from cars to bras to hear their products' names spill from the Queen's lips. (Sorry, Aretha.) Seems the "holier-than-thou" brand might prove not quite ready for prime time.Permalink
Posted February 29, 2008
A Kiss 'Au Revoir,' Brangelina
NOT PRIVY TO THE INNER SANCTUM KNOWN AS BRANGELINA, I can only guess that the song on perpetual loop in their half dozen homes dotting the globe is, "We Are The Word." At the very least I am sure the song repeats constantly inside their self-absorbed minds. Listen closely and you can hear:
"We are the World, we are the children.
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving.
There's a choice we're making.
We're saving our own lives.
It's true, we'll make a better day, just you and me."
This insight comes to mind as news outlets report that the expecting Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have, "after months of house-hunting...have bought a chateau in the south of France and plan to make it their family home."
Wait a minute, wasn't it just a few months ago that world's most noble citizens had enrolled their eldest Maddox in a French school in New York? The poor boy lasted a month before he was pulled out and shipped back to La La Land. And wasn't it just shortly before that when the couple bought a $3.5 million French Quarter mansion and told US magazine, "We love it there. The kids are going to go to school there. We're really looking forward to it.”
And, of course, all this happened in between and around trips to Chicago and Alberta, Canada and Prague. And let's not forget Vietnam, where they visited to pick out a puppy, I mean third adopted child. Isn't that cute? They even changed the boy's name, redubbing him Pax! And let's not forget the world's awaiting of the couple's biological daughter "Shiloh," meaning "messiah." Angelina rented herself an entire Namibian resort so she could give birth far from the prying lenses of paparazzi, thus enabling her to sell the first photo of the blessed child for a reported $4 million. That's one savvy missionary for you. These poor kids are so jostled around, but you can't feel bad for Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax. Because I can just hear their cute little voices singing in harmony, "We are the world, we are the children..."
Does the word "overexposed" mean anything? All of this to say, bon voyage, Brangelina. Here's hoping that your kids really find out what home means in France. Permalink
Posted February 28, 2008
Elton John's Got Britney's Back (And So Does Daddy)
THE BRITNEY ECONOMY IS TANKING, THANKS to
her daddy, Jaime Spears, who is keeping her under house arrest and away from the paps who were
minting money as the star fell before their electronic eyes.
Gone are the snaps of her private parts, her ripped leggings, her messy hair extensions. Now
encouraging news comes through polite commentary released
by Kevin Federline's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan, the best news being that Brit has seen her
sons twice since this past weekend, according to People. Seems Kaplan
works well with Brit's daddy.
Meanwhile, a lawsuit claiming Brit's civil rights are being violated by the co-conservatorship
appointed by the Los Angeles Superior Court has been tossed out of federal court. Attorney Jon
Eardley had tried to have the conservatorship case transferred to federal courts, but U.S.
District Court Judge Philip Gutierrez sent the case
packing. "Mr. Eardley had no authority to remove the case from state court. He is neither a
party nor a defendant," Gutierrez wrote in his ruling. But Eardley has said Britney hired him
on February 12, and that the last time they spoke the phone was taken from her, the phone then
disconnected.
Jamie Spears was handed control of his daughter's reported $100 million
estate in January after Brit was hospitalized twice for poor mental health. I'm no big fan of Jamie and Lynn
Spears, and who can say what is really going on in Brit's house or mind. But I do think the
dimmed switch of the limelight is a step toward her regaining sanity.
Even the media says it's time to give Brit a
break, albeit the mea culpa comes late,
after the peephole has already been shut.
And more good news! The BCDL -- or the Britney Celebrity Defense League for those new to this
site -- has a new member: Sir
Elton John was quoted last weekend saying he's rooting for the singer. "She doesn't deserve
this,'' he said, although adding, "The only person that can help Britney is herself...As much as
she's going through, it's horrible and I hope she comes through it. If I could do anything, I
would." Here's a tip, Elton: Flowers would be lovely!Permalink
Posted February 27, 2008
Two Versions of the Same Story; One Bad Outcome
CRABBY REALIZES THAT THE AIRLINES ARE DESPERATE TO KEEP their on-time schedules, but this is ridiculous.
When Carine Desir of Brooklyn complained of breathing difficulty on an American Airlines flight from Haiti to New York, relatives she was traveling with asked flight attendants for oxygen. What happened afterward depends on whose version of the story you want to believe. Airline officials say she was administered oxygen after a three-minute delay; her family say that flight attendants twice refused to provide oxygen, and when they eventually did, the two tanks sought were empty. With Carine still struggling to breathe, relatives asked that the flight be diverted to a nearby city so they could get her medical help, but she died before the flight could land in Miami. This one is definitely headed for the courts, and only those on board know what really happened. But here's the real kicker: after Desir died inflight, the airline laid her body on the floor of first class and continued on to New York. Why mess up your ontime schedule? Another delay just adds to American's mediocre on-time performance.
Now you have experts warning passengers not to fly should they feel under the weather. In fairness, I guess if you really think about it, the family wants that body back in New York too to make arrangements. But a corpse lying on the floor of first class? It's enough to make frequent business travelers imagine their future.Permalink
Posted February 26, 2008
The 80th Academy Awards: Sex, Interrupted
THE DRESSES DID NOT DISAPPOINT, JON STEWART LOOKED DASHING, political zingers were kept to a minimum. The 80th Annual Academy Awards were positively understated, thanks in part to the lingering hangover of the 14-week writers’ strike. As Stewart said early in the show, “Welcome to the makeup sex.”
And like the best makeup sex, when both parties surrender to their need for the other, Hollywood seemed grateful to be celebrating at all in this year when “psychopathic maniacs” dominated at the movies. “All I can say is thank God for teenage pregnancy,” Stewart quipped at the top of the show, referring to the quiet charm of the movie “Juno.” The show opened with a flashy montage of movies from past and present, reminding the audience that the end product -- the power and magic that is filmmaking -- is bigger than all the egos in the room combined.
Let’s start with the winners in the “beauty” category. Presenter KATHERINE HEIGL looked scrumptious in a red strapless Escada gown and curled blonde hair that keen observers saw instantly channeled Marilyn Monroe better than LINDSAY LOHAN ever could. KERRY RUSSELL dazzled in a champagne strapless gown by Nina Ricci topped with diamond chains. NICOLE KIDMAN radiated in a simple black Balenciaga gown that showed off her baby belly and was the perfect backdrop from the diamond icicles hanging from her neck. The two JENNIFERS – GARNER and HUDSON – were no slouches in the Va Va Voom category either.
Looking a bit tired was CAMERON DIAZ, wearing a peach dress that looked like it was an 80s’ “Dynasty” castoff. And we’ll forgive CATE BLANCHETTE for her sloppy hair and distracting necklace, her being with child and all. HILARY SWANK looked pretty but was no standout in her black Versace. And DIABLO CODY showed spice in dangling skull earrings and a flowing, John Galliano leopard-spotted gown that showed off her tattooed lady arm.
The biggest wow of the night was when the little-known French actress MARION COTILLARD won for Best Actress for “La Vie En Rose.” There was no surprise when DANIEL DAY-LEWIS took home Oscar for his portrayal in “There Will Be Blood.
TILDA SWINTON won Best Supporting Actress for her role as a ruthless attorney in “Michael Clayton,” a win that Crabby actually had right in an an Oscar pool.
JAVIER BARDEM won Supporting Actor for “No Country for Old Men," an adaptation of a CORMAC MCCARTHY novel which took home the most awards. Directors JOEL COEN and ETHAN COEN won for directing, adaptation and best picture. The taller Coen thanked the Academy for letting them make movies, er, “play in our corner of the sandbox.” Check out a fuller list of winners here.
The most memorable lines were delivered by Diablo Cody, an exotic dancer-turned-writer who most of all wanted to “thank [her] family for loving me the way I am.” Marketa Irglova, the co-winner for Best Original Song, who was cut off from giving any thanks, was invited back after the commercial break by Jon Stewart. “The fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just proves that no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up.” You can read her full thank you on the BBC. And Alex Gibney, one of two documentarians who won for “Taxi to the Dark Side,” told the audience his father had been a U.S. Navy interrogator. He closed his acceptance speech by saying, “Let’s hope we can turn this country around and move away from the dark side and back to the light.” Here, here.Permalink
Posted February 25, 2008
Weird, Shocking, Inspiring: Odds & Ends from the News
AT THIS VERY MOMENT CRABBY CAN'T MUSTER THE ENERGY to scold Kevin Federline's lawyer for his role in Britney's downfall, but suffice it
to say that he's no hero for his about-face in
allowing Spears' visitation with her two sons. Brit, when Fed-Ex signs for that reality TV
show he's chasing, sue to stop him in court for exploiting your babies. By and by, I've got to
say that house arrest is working nicely for you: Someone is taking charge of your life and
that's a good thing.
A quick meandering through the news sites brings a few interesting tidbits to my
atttention:
FOR INSTANCE, did you know that a ski-jump nose means you're a spender? That narrow-set eyes
means you pay close attention to detail? That wide-set eyes mean you tend to run late? No,
neither did I, but it's all true according to the study of personology, basically
a modern twist on physiognomy. Today's leading proponent of personology is Naomi Tickle, who
calls herself the "the face reader." (An even more
amusing site on the subject is of Tickle's competition, where you can find the personology
profiles of several high-profile
celebrities.) The practice even has its own Wikipedia entry, which states the pseudo
science (my word, not theirs) was developed in the 1930s by Edward Vincent Jones, a Los Angeles
Circuit Court judge who noted behavioral patterns of those who appeared in his courtroom.
Crabby has a ski-jump nose; no wonder I'm in debt! And the next time I'm late for an appointment,
I'm going to blame it on the distance between my eyes.
FROM ACROSS THE POND, there's the shocking suggestion that teenage girls be sterilized
temporarily. The original idea was voiced by Government Minister for Public Health Dawn Primarolo, then seconded by the
novelist Fay Weldon in a column for the Daily Mail. "We are moving into a science fiction age in
which life itself can be created in a test tube, and it seems that, before long, perfect babies
could be bred at will, largely free of hereditary disease and illness. So, in my view, there is
little point any more in feeling shock-horror at the idea of mass sterilisation." The suggestion
provoked
outrage among numerous
women's advocates. Here's hoping Ann Coulter doesn't hear of the idea.
AND, FINALLY, a heartwarming reminder that if you want a true friend, get a dog, even if it means flying one home from
Iraq.
That's exactly what Marine Maj. Brian Dennis did with the German Shepherd mix he's
named Nubs. Seems Dennis' acts of kindness toward a stray who subsisted off scraps near the
Syria-Iraq border, earned him the undying loyalty of the dog, which had had its ears cut off,
been stabbed by a screwdriver and had nearly frozen to death. Dennis helped the dog mend, but
had to leave it when his squad headed back to its post 65 miles away. But two days later, Dennis
turned to find the dog staring back at him. “Somehow that crazy damned dog tracked us,” he wrote
home. The marine then jumped through bureaucratic hoops to have the dog sent to his San Diego
home. What a guy; what a dog!
Permalink
Posted February 23, 2008
The New York Times digs, finds little to besmirch McCain
LET ME BE AMONG THE FIRST TO CONGRATULATE SEN. JOHN MCCAIN for leading such an exemplary life that the only dirt four New York Times reporters could uncover on the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is a professional relationship with a female lobbyist that some thought too close for comfort.
The Times story in today's paper suggests that McCain's "self-confidence" over ethics leaves him blind to improprieties, which in turn could make him unsuitable for the White House. "A female lobbyist had been turning up with him at fund-raisers, visiting his offices and accompanying him on a client’s corporate jet,'' the Times reports. "Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened to protect the candidate from himself — instructing staff members to block the woman’s access, privately warning her away and repeatedly confronting him, several people involved in the campaign said on the condition of anonymity....Mr. McCain, 71, and the lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, 40, both say they never had a romantic relationship. But to his advisers, even the appearance of a close bond with a lobbyist whose clients often had business before the Senate committee Mr. McCain led threatened the story of redemption and rectitude that defined his political identity."
If there's ever been less stinging revelations about a presidential contender, I want to read them. The article's unintended byproduct is a virtual endorsement of the Arizona Senator, even as it shows the Times's continuing slant toward sexist thinking. The implication is that men and women can't have close platonic relationships, which of course is only true for some men and women.
Permalink
Posted February 21, 2008
Heidi Klum is Making It Easier To Hate Her
BY ALL RIGHTS, HEIDI KLUM SHOULD
AUTOMATICALLY BE GRANTED MEMBERSHIP to the Britney Celebrity Defense League now that she's
publicly invited the Popped Tart to break out of house arrest and come join her happy home. As
some of you know, Crabby has been keeping score on who in La La Land has been willing to throw
a few words of support in the direction of Britney Spears. Now Heidi has announced
she is ready to take on refashioning Brit as another of her projects. The little lost starlet
is invited to come join the warm embrace of the gorgeous goddess, her husband Seal and their
three wee babes in their Beverly Hills mansion. Which seems that Heidi should be a shoo-in for
the BCDL. But Crabby says... not so fast.
Klum says that Britney "can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months."
Which sounds like an extended lovefest. Until she adds, "I would help set her straight." And
don't we all just love to be held in judgment by those who claim to want to help? Isn't that why
we all left the church? After hearing that invite, I'm sure Britney is ready to jump right into
those sinewy, Germanic, open arms.
Then the top model displays her claws again: "I am
sorry when a young person gets thrown so off track. She has, of course, lived an extremely wild
life."
Now I don't know Brit, but I do know something about EQ, or emotional quotient. (And no, Crabby
is not claiming to actually have a high EQ, just to know about what one sounds like.)
When you're down and out and dirty, you want the sympathy and support of someone who knows what
the view is like from the bottom. You want reassurances from someone who's climbed out of the
muck, into a shower and back to some kind of normalcy. So, Heidi, unless you divulge that you've
sobbed while crawling on your knees, high on Cosmos, and maybe a line or two of coke,
suffering heartbreak and the worst case of acne that La La Land has ever seen, I really don't
think Brit wants to hear from you. I know I don't. Better to call in Robert Downey Jr.,
everybody's favorite recovered druggie, and a mindbending actor to boot, no pun intended. And,
please, please, no matter what happens, let's all keep Courtney Love away from Brit, can we?
Permalink
Posted February 19, 2008
Chasing the Epidemiology of Mass Murder
WE CAN ALL READ THE STORIES, ADD UP THE
CLUES AND REACH THE SUMMARY THAT Stephen P. Kazmierczak was just an unlucky soul born with bad
genes. We can shake our heads at the loss, the waste, the pain, and then go back to our lives
knowing that the Illinois man who opened fire on a roomful of college students only became
violent when he stopped taking his meds.
Yet the discordant images of the gunman leave us unsettled. He was "brilliant," "gentle,"
"even," "sweet," "soft-spoken''-- characterizations of teachers and students who knew him in
high school and college. But he also was kicked out of the Army, hospitalized in a mental
facility, accused of self-mutilating himself. He recently had gotten a disturbingly violent
tatoo inked onto his arm, and he began to collect guns. His brave girlfriend, determined to
challenge the picture of a demented man, gave a moving
interview to CNN because, she said, Kazmierczak "cannot be defined by his last actions.
There was so much more than that."
Of her boyfriend, she said, "The Stephen I know and love was not the man that walked into that
building. He was anything but a monster."
There's not many roads left to follow in this news story. The biggest unaswered question about
the tragedy of Steve Kazmierczak is, "Can we ever truly know anyone?" And to that I say, 'Good
luck finding the answer." Mankind has spent history chasing that query. But here's one narrower
avenue that ought to be traveled: antidepressant discontinuation
syndrome. What, if anything, does withdrawal have to do with Kazmierczak's final crazy act?
During a press conference after the assault, NIU officials revealed that Kazmierczak had
recently become "erratic" after stopping his medicine, but they declined to name which one. His
girlfriend told CNN that he had quit his antidepressant because it was making him feel like a
"zombie," and while she denied he was erratic, she said "he was just a little quicker to get
annoyed."
Yet the medical literature is clear: "Discontinuation reactions are clinically important for
several reasons. Firstly, although most are mild and short lived, a minority are severe or chronic and
cause considerable morbidity." Among SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor)
antidepressants, Prozac has the least withdrawal symptoms, while Paxil and Luvox have been
associated with increased risks of withdrawal symptoms. In fact, QuitPaxil.info exits solely to warn the
public about the risks of quitting Paxil too quickly. Dr. Peter Breggin, the best-selling author
of "Talking Back to Prozac" who has become an outspoken sentinel on the risks of
antidepressants, also has a page exploring SSRIs' "induced violence and abnormal behavior." And
one outdated site seems to have
made it its business to list each individual associated with antidepressants and violence or
suicide.
There's few newspapers remaining that are willing to donate the resources to investigate big
questions like this one. Here's my hope that one will accept the challenge.
Permalink
Posted February 18, 2008
Love Lost: A Valentine's Day Massacre
YOU HAVE TO WONDER IF THE UNLIKELY MADMAN WHO opened fire inside a classroom on an Illinois College Campus yesterday choose the date for his bloody mayhem with deliberation. Or was he in charge of his faculties at all?
On Valentine's Day, a thin, white man dressed in black and carrying four guns suddenly appeared before a geology class with more than 162 registered students and randomly opened fire. Today he was identified as 27-year-old Stephen P. Kazmierczak, a friendly, likeable and studious graduate student at the University of Illinois in Urbana, Il. who recently became erratic after he stopped taking an unidentified medication. He previously attended Northern Illinois University, 65 miles west of Chicago, where the shooting started about 3:07 p.m. Thursday. Five students were killed and seven more were in critical condition as of this
morning. Four of his victims were young women. The gunman then killed himself, putting him out of his misery. And the hunt for clues as to why he went 'postal' begins.
The gunman's father, Robert Kazmierczak, addressing reporters outside his home in Lakeland, Fla., wept and beseeched the media to "Please leave me alone. ... This is a very hard time for me."
It was the fourth school shooting in the U.S. this week. According to the Washington
Post, "On Feb. 8, a woman shot two fellow students to death before committing suicide at
Louisiana Technical College in Baton Rouge. In Memphis, Tenn., a 17-year-old is accused of
shooting and critically wounding a fellow student Monday during a high school gym class, and the
15-year-old victim of a shooting at an Oxnard, Calif., junior high school has been declared
brain dead."
The slaughter temporarily refocuses the nation's attention away from politics and the madcap
follies of pretty starlets, but our
shock over such horrors is dwindling. This latest school shooting comes less than a year
after Seung-Hui Cho, a senior
English major, killed 32 people in a premeditated attack on the Virginia Tech campus in
Blacksburg, Va.
The shooting was just one of several horrific cases making headlines in recent weeks, including
the shocking killings of five women inside a Lane
Bryant clothing store just 70 miles east of the Illinois campus, and the macabre murder of a New
York psychologist.
The latest massacre temporarily breaks through the noise of our lives to steal attention. But in
the background there is the constant radioactive buzz of the Iraq War, the ethnic
violence in Kenya, the genocide in Darfur, the saber rattling of Russian President Vladimir Putin. And with all this in mind, I keep
hearing Billy Bragg's yearning for mankind's great leap forward. Check it out, say a prayer, and
God bless.
Permalink
Posted February 15, 2008
Somewhere, Queen Latifah Must Be Steaming Mad In Indignation
IS THERE ANYTHING FUNNIER THAN DIVAS
SQUABBLING OVER THE TITLE 'QUEEN?'
Chanteuse Beyonce had the nerve to introduce Tina
Turner at Sunday evening's Grammys as rock 'n roll's true royalty. "There is one legend who
has the essence of all those things: the glamour, the soul, the passion, the strength, the
talent. Ladies and gentlemen, stand on your feet and give it up for the queen." Not to mention
that figure and those legs, Beyonce. Crabby would die for those legs.
Aretha Franklin, the longtime holder of
the title "Queen of Soul" who is no slouch herself in the passion and soul department, was
insulted that Turner was called the "queen.'' So she released a statement posthaste
after the Grammy party calling Beyonce on the red carpet for bestowing the title to someone
else. "I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between
the Grammy writers and Beyonce,'' Aretha huffed figuratively (and probably literally). "However,
I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy." I guess being called "one of the giants of soul
music," isn't enough for Franklin, double entendre that it is. But we concur that
she has claimed the title "Queen of Soul''
for some time, and we all should curtsy in recognition that she was the first woman inducted
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Beyonce’s father, who manages his daughter's career, dissed Franklin further when he dismissed
the controversy as a waste of his time. "I'm not even going
to take this to her,” Mathew Knowles told USA Today. “Something this ridiculous, it's childish,
it's unprofessional. And it's a sad day when egos get bruised because somebody used the word
king, queen, prince or princess.”
As they say, the queen is dead; long live the queen.
Permalink
Posted February 14, 2008
Turns Out Shopping Was the Right Response to 9/11 After All
SHRINKS IN LAB COATS HAVE RECENTLY TURNED OUT STUDIES ON TWO PSYCHOLOGICAL PHENOMENA GENERATING BUZZ in recent news cycles.
Seven years ago, the World Trade Center was flattened by Al Queda terrorists, weakening
the foundation of America's psyche. For a few weeks afterward, the world stood still, so much so
that experts feared economic collapse. In those dire days, President George Bush urged the nation to keep
shopping, a bit of advice that was mocked and seemed to miss
the larger point of our sorrow. Well, according to a psychological study released last week, it
turns out Bush might have been on to something. In a recent experiment, students shown a sad video were willing to pay four times more for a bottle of
water than students shown a less emotionally evocative video. The researchers, at four universities, concluded that sadness can
trigger emotions that lead to extravagance, in particular when the shopper is
"self-focused." Turns out Bush really did have his finger on the pulse of a self-absorbed, mourning nation.
Then, in yesterday's New York Times, writer Benedict Carey explored recent studies
that cemented evidence of the social benefits of "mirroring" behavior. Carey
cites experiments done at Nijmegen University in the Netherlands, and at Duke University, that
show that "by drawing on apparently similar skills, even in seemingly trivial ways, people can
prompt almost instantaneous cooperation from complete strangers." But the mimicry must be
delayed by a few seconds or else it can be construed as mockery, thus eliminating any potential
social gain. The piece is a short lesson for salesmen and emotional sharks, but of less interest to those indifferent to the art of manipulation.
Permalink
Posted February 13, 2008
Oprahama: Does It Take One Messiah To Make Another?
THE BOYS ON THE BLOGS ARE SUDDENLY EXPRESSING UNEASE AT THE "MASS MESSIANISM,'' as Time's Joe Klein puts it, at the grass roots campaign of Senator Barack Obama's presidential campaign.
Vanity Fair's James Wolcott noted last week that he finds "himself increasingly wary of and resistant to the salvational fervor of the Obama campaign, the idealistic zeal divorced from any particular policy or cause and chariot-driven by pure euphoria." On his blog Political Punch, Jake Tapper, ABC's heartthrob for political junkies, expresses his own reserve and links to commentary with the headline "Obama is not Jesus,'' as well as a Sacramento Bee story on efforts by the Obama campaign to have supporters tell their personal stories of how they "came to Obama" in 30 seconds. "Work on that, refine that, say it in the mirror,'' Obama organizer Kim Mack told volunteers.
Joe Klein wrote in Time, "There was something just a wee bit creepy about the mass messianism — "We are the ones we've been waiting for" — of the Super Tuesday speech and the recent turn of the Obama campaign. "This time can be different because this campaign for the presidency of the United States of America is different. It's different not because of me. It's different because of you." That is not just maddeningly vague but also disingenuous: the campaign is entirely about Obama and his ability to inspire. Rather than focusing on any specific issue or cause — other than an amorphous desire for change — the message is becoming dangerously self-referential. The Obama campaign all too often is about how wonderful the Obama campaign is."
Klein notes later in the piece "that there is an odd, anachronistic formality to Obama's stump speech: it is always the same."
Hmmmm. Is there something ringingly familiar here to cultural observers? It seems Obama's been getting lessons in crowd control from The First Lady of TV, Oprah Winfrey, one of his not-so-secret weapons in his battle for the White House. Any close observer of Oprah recognizes the same pattern of repetition that both Obama and Oprah use in their prepared banter, the same emphasis on ''you." A quick look at Oprah's website will give a brief lesson on the technique. The link to "Celebrate You!" says, "Discover, embrace and nurture yourself...celebrate and honor you". The link to "Breathing Space'' says, "From dazzling ocean sunsets to arid desert landscapes, these view images show what inspire you". Italics not added by Crabby. The result is to feed America's cult of narcissism, which ultimately rewards its breeders.
The Senator lives just a few miles south of America's cultural deity and admits that he stays in close touch with the media maven. "I’ve been in contact with her consistently,” Mr. Obama told the New York Times, “and she’s open to helping out in any ways that she can.” And while Oprah has more money than most, her greenbacks look like everybody else's. But few if anybody has more expertise in that most modern method of manipulation, TV, and performing for an audience with the help of the teleprompter.
What everybody conveniently forgets about Oprah is that she's an actress. And I wonder: has the Big 'O' been giving the smaller 'O' lessons? If so, I'm worried. Maybe that's why we're still waiting to see the substance behind his words.
Permalink
Posted February 10, 2008
Are They For Real? The Creepy Parents Who Want to Put Their Kids on TV
NO BETTER CAUTIONARY TALE EXISTS ABOUT
TURNING OFFSPRING INTO MEAL TICKETS than the one released yesterday from UCLA's funny farm. Poor little rich girl Brit has been raised on the adoring and leering glances of strangers since
she was a tween. And we all can see how that turned out for her.
So what else to conclude about Kevin Federline and Denise Richards' parenting skills other than
"rotten" when you hear that they plan to star their children in reality TV shows? Can you spell
N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-S?
Gossips have reported that Charlie Sheen's ex-wife was foaming at the mouth over the chance to star in a reality TV vehicle with her
two toddler girls, Sam and Lola. The show would highlight the single parent life in La La Land.
Dad Charlie fought the plans in court but apparently even the judges in La La
Land are tainted by the water and the court ruled in Denise's favor. Fast forward 20 years:
Wanna bet that Sam and Lola feel so empty when the cameras aren't around that they pick up with
paparazzi?
And what to say of the revelation that Kevin Federline was planning to star in his own single parent reality
show with sons Sean and Jayden as props. I guess that's no surprise since his purpose for
being seems parasitic in nature. (Brit marriage + rap career + divorce + custody battle +
reality show = parasite.) One would think that his front-row seat to the madness would dissuade
him from such folly. But, no, it apparently just puts it on the back burner of his mind. In all
seriousness, God help those two boys.
The news of Federline's paused show comes just days after supposed great daddy Larry Birkhead visited Anna Nicole's grave with baby Dannielynn and Entertainment Tonight cameras in tow. Tongues are tsk,
tsking over Birkhead's transformation into yet another parental golddigger. But maybe he always
was. Maybe America just likes to root for the good-looking guy.
Permalink
Posted February 7, 2008
The 'End of Camelot.' Really. Truly. Done. Over. Kaput. Nil. Nada. Zip.
THE SLOWEST DEATH IN POLITICS HAS BEEN
THE LONG, SAD DECLINE OF A FAMILY WHO ONCE PROUDLY CLAIMED THE CROWN OF CAMELOT FOR THEMSELVES.
After Tuesday's Democratic delivery of California and Massuchusetts delegates to Hillary Rodham Clinton, I think
it's safe to say that "Camelot" really is dead and, finally, ought to be buried.
According to Wikipedia, Camelot "is the most
famous fictional castle and court" associated with the legendary King Arthur...[And a]s a place
is associated with ideals like justice, bravery and truth, the virtues Arthur and his knights
embody in the romances.'' The term became synonymous with the heartbreaking love affair America
had with John F. Kennedy, the handsome playboy president who was assassinated in November
1963.
Kennedy's traumatic murder was deemed "The End of Camelot"
for the nation. Yet for others,"Camelot only
ended" after the shooting death of JFK's brother Bobby during his run for U.S. president. "As I took a turn standing over the coffin to brace it against the swaying of the train,... and watched the silent crowds lining the tracks, the strongest emotion I felt was wanting the trip not to end. Whatever it was, we knew it was over," wrote Adam Yarmolinsky in the Virginia Quarterly Review in August,
1996.
After that, John's wife Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy assumed all the winsome glamour of the
Kennedy name. The beautiful, jetsetting widow of America's most handsome president remarried an
oil tycoon named Aristotle Onassis, briefly escaped to Greece, and raised her two children. When that marriage went
sour, Jackie returned to New York, where she eventually became an editor at Viking Press and
later, Doubleday. And of course when she died in 1994, newspaper headlines asked the question, "Is This the End of Camelot?" "...With
her passing ends an era of hope, promise and ideals known to an entire generation as Camelot,"
wrote one journalist in the Sacramento Observer.
But that speculation was in error. We still had the life and eventual death of John F. Kennedy
Jr., whose natural charm, good looks and bloodline burdened him with the impossibly-high
expectations of America's romantic love. And when he died in a plane crash, well, that was, once
again, "the end of
Camelot."
Who knew that almost a decade later Camelot would once again be resurrected, this time in
the embodiment of Caroline Kennedy as well as Uncle Teddy, and cousins Patrick and Maria
Shriver. In a widely
ballyhooed op-ed piece for the New York Times, Caroline endorsed Senator Obama for
President. "I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father
inspired them,'' Caroline wrote. "But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who
could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans." The endorsing
Kennedy clan turned out Sunday for a heady last-minute California rally on behalf of Obama. And,
for a minute in time, it seemed that Camelot would live again.
But then Californians voted Tuesday, and Hillary beat Obama by 10 percent. And in Massachusetts, the spread was even wider: Hillary's won 56 percent to Obama's 41 percent. As they wrote
in Cape Cod Today online, "It looks like the half century reign of Camelot has
ended in Massachusetts."
And so now, finally, we need to either to bury the "Camelot" Kennedy cliche, or perhaps revive
it for the Clintons. May I dare to ask: Are the Clintons the rightful heirs of the Camelot crown?
Permalink
Posted February 6, 2008
Pap Agency Owner: Sam Lutfi Never Took Money
THE MOST WANTED MAN IN HOLLYWOOD TODAY
ISN'T ON THE FBI'S TOP 10 LIST: IT'S SAM LUTFI, Brit's favorite In-N-Out bag boy. Gossips,
newshounds and court officials are looking for Brit's confidante so they can: 1) Get his
comments on the legal imbroglio
that continued in LA yesterday over control of Britney's estate. And 2) Trying to serve Lutfi with
court documents prohibiting him from phoning, chatting, IMing, visiting or writing Britney,
essentially cutting her off from one of her closest allies.
Francois Navarre, owner of the X17 Inc. photo agency,
says Sam has cut his phone lines and is laying low following his brouhaha with Brit's folks over
her medical care and estate. But while others are having a field day throwing mud
at Lutfi, Navarre spoke in defense of Brit's would-be manager whom he says is a Brit
loyalist but also not qualified to handle her affairs alone. "She needs a staff, and not just one
person,'' Navarre said. The photo agency owner summed up Lutfi's intentions in this way: "He has
something in his head, and what he has is [the idea] to stay as long as possible with
Britney."
Despite what tongues wag, Navarre says that while Lutfi has tipped off the photo agency
before about Britney's whereabouts in the past, he's never done it with his palm out. "What I
like about Sam is that he has never, ever asked for money, unlike Adnan" Ghalib, Brit's most
recent boy-toy-pap, Navarre said.
The X17 owner expressed anguish at Brit's current mental state, blaming it on "the fact that they took
the kids away from her, that's made her crazy. Everything started with that.'' He also had unkind words for Lynn and Jamie Spears: "They try to get as much money from her as possible. Now they have Jamie Lynn pregnant. They're cashing in on that already."
Crabby concurs with a tsk, tsk.
Permalink
Posted February 4, 2008
Lynn and Jamie Spears: Golddiggers of the Worst Sort
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT SHAVING
YOUR BLONDE LOCKS IN FRONT OF CAMERAS IS A PERFECTLY SANE THING TO DO when you want to fuck with
your photog tormentors? Without fail, the media refers to Britney's self mutilation as
"bizarre," yet to my mind the act was the drowning popster's desperate signal that La La Land
was becoming too much to bear and wanted out of the game.
Let's be clear: Britney is delusional, but not all of that comes from bipolar disorder or
multiple personality or whatever diagnosis du jour in the media. It comes from
formative years in front of the camera and living in La La Land, the land of make-believe. And
that's a dangerous place to be without real friends and family to rely on. And as TMZ's reported, Britney was asking that very question while locked
in a padded room: "Who is my family?"
Is it the momma who kept secret and then sold the story
that Brit's little sister was pregnant to a tabloid for an unspecified amount? Is it the
momma who was thinking of getting her nails done
on the day her daughter was committed? Is it the parents that befriended TV's favorite faux
Dr. Phil and then had him intervene just days before Lynn Spears was scheduled for a TV appearance? Yup,
that's her sad ass family.
Which is why I'm rooting for Lutfi and attorneys from Trope and Trope to convince the court today that
someone other than the Spears' family ought to be appointed conservator of Brit's estate. Because history shows that Britney's parents don't know what's best for their
children.
Permalink
Posted February 3, 2008
Outrage Over Sick Animals at Slaughter House, and We're Not Talking About Cows
HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN THE SAVAGERY AND SADISM DISPLAYED BY THE WORKERS AT THE WESTLAND MEAT CO., who tortured sick and injured cattle, other than to say that death becomes them.
Getting
paid on a daily basis to lead majestic beasts to their slaughter, skinning and sawing would
necessitate emotional comparmentalizing of the most extreme sort, so much so that respect for
any living thing becomes pointless. That appears is what happened at the Westland Meat Co., a
division of the Hallmark Meat Packing Co., where an undercover hero videotaped workers treating
sick animals inhumanely. The story broke nationwide thanks to the
Humane Society of the United States, which has the videotape feed on its website. Outrage and
disgust has led school districts in 11 states who contracted with Hallmark to take meat off
their menus, the largest being the New York City public schools, with 1.1 million students.
Westland sold more than 27 million pounds of meat last year for use in school lunch and other
federal food programs, according to The Associated Press.
Hamburger outlets Jack-in-the-Box and In-N-Out have banned meat from Hallmark and its affiliates
after videotape from the Chino, Ca. slaughterhouse surfaced.
This isn't the first time that abuse toward cattle has been captured on tape, and sadly, it
probably isn't the last. It's a crazy world we live in, one where terrorists can convince
themselves that they are serving God by using
mentally ill women as live bombs; where the world's titular moral authority, America, can
argue that torture is a necessary weapon against their foes; where paparazzi and journalists
convince themselves they are the incarnates of The First Amendment to justify their torment of a
mentally ill pop star. The world seem so out of our control that you can hardly blame us all for
tuning out of the horror and tuning into petty Pop Stardom. But if you want to empower yourself
for one moment, click this button, put in
your zip code, and write an email to your representatives in Congress and tell them how
sickened you are about this animal abuse. And while you're writing, you might mention your
objection to the Iraq war, waterboarding, Bush's veto of a health care bill for uncovered
children, and anything else that you are outraged about. Animals can't talk, but you can. So do.
Permalink
Posted February 2, 2008
Home
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
January 2008
2007
