Introducing 'Sexy Chatty Catty,' For Whom Some Traditions Ought to Remain Unchanged
H
I ALL. I INVITE YOU TO THINK OF ME AS CRABBY'S UNSPOILED BUT SEXIER SIDE DISH.
While I’m sure Crabby was watching the Clinton-Obama debate last Wednesday, I was watching America’s Next Top Model. I figure if anything earth shattering happens it will be discussed over and over ad nauseam during the 24/7 news cycle.
You also won’t catch me watching Gossip Girl, CSI or Grey’s Anatomy. I get my kicks from reality, be it lowbrow – Lavor of Love, or highbrow, a la reality's masterpiece theater– Last Restaurant Standing. I love really cheesy stuff. That's why I always order extra white stuff on my pizza.
And speaking of cheese, one of my favorite movies is Teen Witch, the ‘80s tale of an awkward geek who discovers she descends from witches. Newly awakended to her supernatural powers she begins to aid friends and punish enemies, all the while trying to cast a spell on the most beautiful boy in school. Don't you wish you had that juice?
If you’ve never sampled this late '80s snack, check out this
rap scene.
If you're with me so far, you can understand that I am outraged that a remake of Teen Witch is in the works starring somebody named Ashley Tisdale. She's apparently some teen twit with a new nose who was in that latest Disney lie called The High School Musical. (Cliques never pull together). But I wouldn't recognize her with or without the new beak. I'm guessing she's just another dyed blonde.
But Teen Witch IS NOT just another teen movie. It is beloved by Sexy Chatty Catty, and I don't want it sullied by Disney's crass commercialism. Why can't the new generation enjoy the gooey chewy goodness of 100 percent natural American cheese?
Sexy Chatty Catty will comment periodically at CrabbyGolightly.com on America's favorite snack foods.
Posted April 21, 2008
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