Hundreds Flood Officials Seeking to Officially Adopt Corpse of "Montauk Monster"
HORDES OF DEAD ANIMAL LOVERS OVERWHELMED OFFICIALS IN MONTAUK, LONG ISLAND DEMANDING THAT THE MYSTERIOUS "MONTAUK MONSTER" BE GIVEN A PROPER BURIAL.
PETA also sent volunteers to pressure local officials to keep scientists away from the freakish corpse of the so-far unidentified rotting beast.
Speculation was rampant that the animal was a government experiment gone wrong. Others theorized that the beast had fallen from the sky, or perhaps had been coughed up from the earth's center where it had been buried by Scientology's evil galactic overlord Xenu 75 million years ago." Still others speculated that the thing was yet another victim of the fiend dumping body parts along Canada's Atlantic Coast.
Island officials reported an uptick in the number of locals doublechecking the credentials of plastic surgeons practicing around the Island.
Kidding! Just kidding! Just had to be a part of the Montauk Monster Mystery.
Posted August 7, 2008
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