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A Monday Twofer! Recaps of 'Mad Men,' VMA Awards
MTV's Show Provokes Flashbacks to The 90s
THE VMA'S BROUGHT IT TO YOU "OLD SCHOOL" 1997 style this year with Britney, Christina, Kid Rock, and leather bodysuits. England’s Russell Brand made his American TV debut with just enough PrObama cheers and Jonas Brothers virginity jokes to remind us it’s 2008.
I'll spare you the recap (because MTV will put their five year “NEXT” marathon on hold for the next week to replay the VMA’s ad nauseam) and instead present this abbreviated list of VMA "Shit Worth Referencing" to provide you with just enough blather to converse with any 16-year-old:
Britney Spears wins her first prestigious VMA after sixteen losses.
Britney actually won all three categories she was nominated in, which clearly means she’s made it after all. She didn’t really have the “Best Pop Video” or the “Video of the Year,” but MTV owed her one for not saying anything about last year’s poor performance during rehearsal. After years of hit records and number one singles, I’m glad the network finally came to their senses and awarded her most poignant work.
Mtv News’ Kurt Loder hasn’t died yet.
The tragically hip VMA correspondent hasn’t gotten a real job after 20 years, and it’s only right that MTV was nice enough to cover his “Hair Club for Men” fees. If Anderson Cooper had an equally ambiguous older brother going through a late-life crisis, it would be Kurt Loder. While other VJ’s might come and go (and become D-List actors or host bad late night shows), Kurt Loder isn’t calling it quits ‘til he can no longer shimmy into skinny jeans for work.
Russell Brand is funny like a drunk uncle who embarrasses you in front of friends.
He has the hair of Amy Winehouse with the charm of Courtney Love. The offensive English comedian (who has been to rehab for sex addiction among other things) filled his American TV debut with repeated virginity jokes about the Jonas Brothers who were clearly unamused. Brand also got political, endorsing Obama, calling George Bush a “retarded cowboy fella,” and joking about the unfortunate luck of Bristol Palin’s boyfriend.
Christina Aguilera is slutty again.
Aguilera performed “Genie in a Bottle” in all leather, realigning the stars and settling back into her image as the skeezy opposition to Britney. Her latest reinvention performance also previewed a new song about being a “superbitch” and asymmetrical bangs, putting her at a middle ground between her transvestite prostitute in the Lady Marmalade video and the ass-less chaps look of Dirrty.
Kid Rock is still creepy and overrated.
Bringing the night’s throwback theme together, Kid Rock performed in a track suit, drinking out of a plastic cup with a napkin wrapped around it. While Britney and Christina might have changed up their images in the last ten years, Kid Rock showed he’ll always be the go-to guy for shitty rap-rock and scraggly facial hair. The original K-Fed rides again.
Benjamin Bradshaw B. is a fashion merchandising student who blogs at CrabbyGoLightly.com on culture, ads, and corporate monsters. You can reach him at Myspace.com/taterzz.com.
Posted September 8, 2008
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