Get On Your HazMat Suits: 'A Shot at Love' and 'Rock of Love' Announce Casting Calls
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Get On Your HazMat Suits: 'A Shot at Love' and 'Rock of Love' Announce Casting Calls
By Benjamin Bradshaw B.
495 PRODUCTIONS, THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COPY-CAT DATING SHOW A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (who will officially top my “List of People Ruining America” after George W. Bush leaves office) posted a casting call recently on www.ShotAtLoveCasting.com.
Tequila’s tired reign as bisexual bachelorette (read: “skeezy butterface with bad tattoos”) will be taken over by a new and yet unannounced sorta-celebrity (who will also be a sorta-bisexual). 495 Productions used the casting website to showcase the company’s outstanding lack of quality by misspelling “San Fransisco,” “Massachusets,” and “Detriot.”
In related news (but with more bandanas), Rock of Love will be returning in the form of “The Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels.” VH1 and 51 Minds production, which spawned the celeb-reality block with The Surreal Life, will hold casting calls in 10 cities during Michaels’s upcoming tour. TMZ posted a sneak peak of the New York auditions here with all the usual suspects.
Bret’s first two reality relationships didn’t work out (supposedly) because of his busy touring schedule (and his revived career that ties him to projects like that “Hard and Heavy” late night CD infomercial for Time Life). The new “Love Bus” hopes to find girls (read: “former porn stars”) that can handle Bret’s lifestyle by just using groupies from his natural habitat (a tour bus serving as an STD sample platter).
This new format is really just freshening up the cartoonish scenarios and degrading challenges, but I’m confident that there still will be lots of sex and zebra print cowboy hats. After all, a rose by any other name still has its thorn.
Both of the casting announcements are good news for reality TV hopefuls and I can assume that America's trailer parks and strip clubs will be emptied of residents and employees in search of stardom.
Diseases will be swapped and nudity censored soon enough in this reality TV “perfect storm” and I’ve already got my blond wig and bandana ready for premier night. Benjamin Bradshaw B. is a fashion merchandising student who blogs at CrabbyGoLightly.com on culture, ads, and corporate monsters. You can reach him at Myspace.com/taterzz.com.
