GOSSIP
Reality TV Op! Hugh Hefner's Looking For New Dyed-Blonde Hangers-On
HUGH HEFNER'S THREE GIRLFRIENDS FROM The Girls Next Door are moving out of the
Playboy Mansion, an insider told Scandalist. The news suggests America’s oldest sugar daddy has either run out of charm or his Viagra prescription.
Holly Madison, Hef’s number one girlfriend (we presume she's in charge of colonics?) is moving out to date “Mindfreak” star Criss Angel. The magician (who’s a notch creepier than David Copperfield and three notches cheesier than Nickleback) has previously been linked to other “hot but stupid” celebrities like Pamela Anderson and Cameron Diaz. Madison’s obvious economic downgrade trades free living and all-day topless water sliding for more time spent shopping for hair products and Affliction skull T-shirts.
Both Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt are reportedly moving out to focus on their careers (read: be naked other places). If we’re lucky this means some VH1 reality game shows, a heavily-edited memoir (with lots of pictures), and maybe a line of clear heels exclusively for Steve and Barry’s.
The inside source says Hef is already looking for replacements to mend his broken heart (and provide more intellectual discourse). I’m hoping he takes the opportunity to do this “Donald Trump style” and cash in on a reality TV girlfriend search. Until then, America’s most eligible elder is back on the market and looking for some broke, 20-year-olds with low self esteem who don’t mind having sex for free room and board.
Benjamin Bradshaw B. is a fashion merchandising student who blogs at CrabbyGoLightly.com on culture, ads, and corporate monsters. You can reach him at Myspace.com/taterzz.com.
Posted September 11, 2008
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